Lapwing Posted March 11, 2010 Report Share Posted March 11, 2010 (((neverwhere))) I've recently just started wearing tshirts again, and it's hard, I know all about the paranoia. No-one's ever asked me what they are, don't know what I would say xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marc-74 Posted March 11, 2010 Report Share Posted March 11, 2010 I have had this problem before when standing on the bus, holding the hand rail, I caught people looking and then whispering to each other. It made me feel awful. Both my arms have scars, but my left arm is covered from wrist to shoulder with scars of all sizes. I look like a albino tiger in the summer. If im feeling delicate now I Just dont make any eye contact with anyone if im in a t-shirt on the bus. But this has got better for me now, and most of the time I just dont care. I am going to get my arm covered with a full tattoo sleeve, I know this is not for everyone, but I have tatts on my head and neck anyway. This summer I think I'll start telling nosy peeps that I used to be a falconer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aurorablues Posted March 11, 2010 Report Share Posted March 11, 2010 Mine don't bother me so much. I kind of forget they are there somtimes. When it's hot i will go out with a strappy top on. I've had looks but that's about it. The only time i'll cover them up is if i go to see my folks. I don't want my Mum to see them because i know she'll feel guilty and blame herself. My last boyfriend asked me what they were, and i told him straight. I'd done it to myself when i was very ill. He wasn't shocked or suprised and it was the last time it was mentioned. Aurora :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Divsky Posted March 11, 2010 Author Report Share Posted March 11, 2010 yeh being honest seems to be the best approach to it but I know I'll always be paranoid about it until I'm more confident in myself, getting a sleeve done is something I'd like to do lol, cant decide on what to get done though, would have to be tribal to blend with the rest of the tattoo's hmm thinkin I should get some paper and pens and start to doodle away! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink stars Posted March 11, 2010 Report Share Posted March 11, 2010 I find with me, many people dont ask. When people have though I use one of my little rehersed stories like "the cat scratched me" or "I was doing some D.I.Y at home and blah blah blah" I can relate when you say people have been shocked. I have only ever opened up to a couple of people and they all acted weird and then didn't want anything to do with me so I don't tell people anything now. I also use bio oil, it has made some scars on my wrists almost un-noticeable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lapwing Posted March 11, 2010 Report Share Posted March 11, 2010 I've just started using bio oil, got my hopes pinned on it, how long does it take to work? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lildevilene Posted March 11, 2010 Report Share Posted March 11, 2010 My legs and right arm are covered in scars... i have one particularly big ugly one on my leg that is about half an inch wide and you can see it through my jeans it protudes so much (wanky ex boyf refused to take me to hospital when i begged him to take me as i knew i'd gone too far).... ive had someone at work ask me twice about the ones on my arms and i try and change the subject as quick as poss.... i dont think he realises what he's asking about! I usually get all flustered and don't know what to say and am just like "ya know... stuff".... I'm just rubbish... I've asked my GP about my hideous one adn he just said there was nothing that can be done... (which i dont believe)... Hope the bio oil works.... i have some and really should use it ... let me know how you get on Miss P xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Divsky Posted March 11, 2010 Author Report Share Posted March 11, 2010 yeh I've went with the bio oil too, so fingers crossed I get some joy from this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hellz Posted March 11, 2010 Report Share Posted March 11, 2010 I have bio oil but I never got into a routine of using it. But when people ask me about then (which hasn't happened in a while) I tend to lie,I usually come up with some crap about an accident I had when I was a kid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Siamsa Posted March 12, 2010 Report Share Posted March 12, 2010 Let me just start by saying that I don't have any personal experience with scars as such - I have never self-harmed like that, and although I have a few scars that are visible that were inflicted upon me by others, they are hardly visible now. I think I've only been asked about them twice in my life, and on both occasions I've said the truth - that it's just a cut or cigarette burn. It's not really anyone's business how and where I got them, but sure, if someone really wanted to ask, I'd probably tell them. Bearing in mind that I really don't know what it's like, I hope you don't mind if I add my thoughts here. I don't mean to upset anyone, and by all means put me straight if you think that I'm really missing the point! Personally, I don't see why you should make up a story about them. If you decide not to hide them, or can't hide them, well... then you have nothing to hide! If someone asks, then presumably they want to hear the truth. I'm not saying that this is any justification for actually telling anyone the truth, but I do think that it means that you don't need to lie for anyone else's sake. As for yourself, I can understand that you might be embarrassed by the scars. But I still don't see that as a reason to lie. This is who you are, after all. Why abandon yourself now and cover things up with a lie? =) I think that if you're brave enough to walk around in a t-shirt, then perhaps it's ok to stick with the whole truth? Having said all that, I can understand that your 8-year old brother is a different case. Again, I don't think you need to feel ashamed or embarrassed. It's more the worry as to how he'd handle that information. You've said it yourself - he's curious. And I suspect that if you told him the truth, you'd have to explain the whole concept of self-harm to him, causing him a whole world of worry. But at the same time, kids are amazingly perceptive - you've already mentioned that he's no longer buying the cat-scratches excuse, and the fact that he keeps asking means that he's already sussed that something is the matter... I think if you want to shield him from this for a few more months/years then perhaps do tell him that you had an accident. However, if you do choose to go down that route, I still think it's important that you come clean with him somewhere down the line, as well as the reasons for not telling him the truth in the first place... most people are aware of self-harm and he's not far off an age where he's likely to find out about it himself anyways - if he hasn't done so already (and hence keeps asking)! These are just my thoughts on the matter, and again, please remember that my personal experiences are limited to non-existant...! So I may well be completely missing the point here. I still hope that there's something helpful to you in all of this. =) Take care, - Siamsa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Divsky Posted March 13, 2010 Author Report Share Posted March 13, 2010 Dont be silly I value everyone's opinion on this matter the reason I'm reluctant to tell my brother is in case he gets any ideas from it, he's rather influential at the moment and seems to be mimicking myself, as for telling others I think I'll just bare them and tell the truth, if they dont like it then tough cookie, I'm getting tired of pleasing others and not considering myself, cheers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tiga Posted March 20, 2010 Report Share Posted March 20, 2010 iself harmed 4 years in my teens and v early 20s. I have scars all up my legs and right arm and a few on my face and hands. They r all white and r never gonna get any better. im 28. i wear strappy tops in the summer. i dont think about the fact im exposing my scars anymore. i used to when i first started about5 yrs ago i used 2 think people were staring at me talking about me laughing etc. some people probably did i feel confident in my self about my arms. i work out a lot at the gym so that prob helps. im not ashamed of them and i have accepted myself to the point it doesnt matter wot people think i am not going to boil in the summer and i want to wear nice clothes. why should i hide my arms 4 the rest of my life to protect other people from wot i did to myself yrs ago. i hate my legs anyway so i never wear skirts! if people ask itell them but most dont. people rarely stare now and if they do i do not notice as i am not watching 2 c if anyone is looking. it is normal 2 me now. people still speak 2 me and if theyre going to get to know me them theyre going to find out eventually is the way i look at it i do hide my scars in certain situations like hairdressers or situations where i am anxious or want to make an impression i had a blip a few yrs ago and cut my legs deeply a few times. i never touched my arms as i know scars take ages to fade. I know i will never touch my arms again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.