sanctuary Posted March 7, 2010 Report Share Posted March 7, 2010 For all that don't know.. I am infertile as a result of having a chlamydia infection at 16 (i'm now 33) that went undiagnosed long enough to lead onto PID (pelvic inflammatory disease). When I eventually did get treatment, it was quick, simple and the chlamydia went but I was told I would have likely been made infertile. Years of no contraception and no child I got used to it. Unfortunately, years later at age 27, when I was married and wanted to try, it was confirmed after a laparoscopy that my reproductive system had suffered tremendously and as a result the scar tissue strangled my ovaries and tubes and I was officially told IVF would be my only option. But IVF with the postcode lottery and super strict criteria meant I didn't qualify. Right, history lesson over. All my adult life I have always been up front and open about this. I have no shame about the STI that caused it. Fact of life. No biggie. Anyway, my lovely local vicar, a nice old lady, stopped by the other day and I said to her I really wanted to help people, whether they have BPD or are infertile as both these things take alot out of people and I want to be able to turn the negatives into something positive. Well, we discussed a few things but she said I had to get myself right first and I kind of agreed. Anyway, after she left, I popped onto BBC news to see whats happening in the world and found an article about the young generation of 16-24 year olds who are getting chlamydia on a huge scale but also how something like 72% don't really see how important being tested and being safe is and barely think about the long term consequences. Anyway, I scrolled down and found details of a sexual health charity called Brook and I just picked up the phone and made a call. I explained my situation and said I wanted to help raise awareness. They said they never had a call like it and gave me the number for a local outreach team in london that go into schools and talk to the youngsters. As a result, I am calling tomorrow to speak to the outreach manager and I think I can make a difference. There is nothing like a real person, with a real story who is actually suffering the consequences to be able to reach out to some people. I have no experience of working with or talking to adolescents in this way so apart from just sharing my plan with everyone here, does anyone know or want to give any advice on how I should approach this? I know I want to spread the word but I don't want to come across as some random woe is me victim and sufferer. I just want kids to be aware that it is a silent disease often with no symptoms but the effects later on are devastating. Thanks for reading. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dani Posted March 7, 2010 Report Share Posted March 7, 2010 sanctuary that is so great...what your gonna do will really make a difference. i work in a pharmacy and with testing now being free to under 25's i test a lot more young people than i used to. i would say just be yourself ...cos anythin else will come accross as false. ive done quite a lot of presentations in the past and we did one on chlyamidia and std's in a secondary school.it was scary ...expect to get some gigles:-)(thats kids)lol.but just be yourself.i think your story will be impact enough.xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanctuary Posted March 7, 2010 Author Report Share Posted March 7, 2010 Thanks Dani, that's really interesting. xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
just.me Posted March 8, 2010 Report Share Posted March 8, 2010 Hey that is pretty cool. They more than likely have a set script of the rest of what it is all about. All you can do is explain the situation. Some people think you have to sleep around to get an STD that just is not the case at all, it could be anybodys first time. Most kids would probably say well I only slept with 2 boys, or I only slept with one girl etc., I think they need to have it drummed into them that it matters not how many, as you are always basically sleeping with who they have slept with before too. Good luck!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarabpd Posted March 8, 2010 Report Share Posted March 8, 2010 Sanctuary thats is amazing and we back you all the way. That is really good what you are doing. Fantastic !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toaster Posted March 8, 2010 Report Share Posted March 8, 2010 bloody hell go you sanc i also contracted chlamydia...its so important to hear these real stories ur brave and selfless , kudos to u xxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sophhee23 Posted March 8, 2010 Report Share Posted March 8, 2010 wow sanctary, im really really sorry to hear this as i didnt no, but sounds like your handling it.....i think your doing an absolutely amazing thing here and would suggest just being yourself hun, children will listen to you and pay more attention to what your saying if they see your a random person just like them, i think anyway. Good for you hun ur amazing, so much strength!!! love and huggles xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pepsimeg Posted March 8, 2010 Report Share Posted March 8, 2010 i have no advise soz but want u to know.......well done, you can do it........good luck xxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rainbow Tears Posted March 8, 2010 Report Share Posted March 8, 2010 Sanc, the first paragraph has convinced me to get tested. What you want to do is amazing! As for young people, we appriciate honesty. If you show yourself as a genuine story you will be listened to. You always get the odd rats who don't listen to anyone but most adolescents will respect you for being open. We don't like to be preached at, but since your story shows that you've lived through it, I can't imagine you'd be preachy ((((((((((((((((((((((sanc)))))))))))))))))))))) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piuma Posted March 8, 2010 Report Share Posted March 8, 2010 great stuff that u can help...somthing good come out of a loss ... xxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bena.baby Posted March 8, 2010 Report Share Posted March 8, 2010 such a good idea, well done (((((((((((sanc))))))))))))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted March 8, 2010 Report Share Posted March 8, 2010 I think this is a great idea Sanc, good for you! With regards to the practical help I would say just be yourself and respect the kids. After all these kids will be the adults one day. If you have , say an hour, structure it so that you spend 5/10 mins on your story, then the same on the information/details side, then perhaps a period of Q&A and then perhaps some practical exercises or summit? I don't know but breaking it into bitesize chunks is more likely to grab their attention. Oh also is there and video material on STI's and teens? x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanctuary Posted March 8, 2010 Author Report Share Posted March 8, 2010 Thanks for the replies and support here guys.... yeah Roses I want to look at a structure and definately would be happy for Q&A's. I wanna get this right because I don't want to give the wrong message across. One of the difficult aspects of my own story is the promiscuousness and Sioux you made an excellent point about the disease in that it can be contracted from only one partner. The thing is, if my story comes across as a 'gets it about alot', I won't hit the audience of those who are not, and it may be construed that you have to sleep with lots of people to get it. If I don't, then I fear the ones who may be promiscuous may just think I'm unlucky if they think it was a one off. What is the truth about my story may actually have to be modified slightly and that's the thing I'm having difficulty with in my head. After all, I only need to catch it from one person regardless of the amount of people I slept with. I suppose the charity might help answer MY questions! But thanks guys, you've really given me an extra boost to try and do this. xxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Villan Posted March 8, 2010 Report Share Posted March 8, 2010 oooooooo only just found this one... methinks it is well brave and fantastic what you are doing... i try to find positives out of negatives and sometimes it can really help and i hope it does with you... (((((((((sanctuary))))))))))) xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted March 8, 2010 Report Share Posted March 8, 2010 Yes, I agree, however regularly you had sex (or not) is not the subject matter at hand. You are talking about how you didn't realise you had this until it was in the advanced stages, that could have happened with only everh having one partner. The promiscuity is irrelevant to the message and I agree it would distract from what you are trying to achieve. You have nothing to atone for so just make peace with yourself and leave it at the door. I was promiscuous but I don't tell anyone really, it's not something that is anyone's business. xxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanctuary Posted March 8, 2010 Author Report Share Posted March 8, 2010 This is the email I have just sent to both the Brook Charity outreach manager and the MP for Public Health, Gillian Merron (it's basically what i said here but anyway): Hi Gillian My name is ********. I am infertile as a result of having a chlamydia infection at 16 (i'm now 33) that went undiagnosed long enough to lead onto PID (pelvic inflammatory disease). When I eventually did get treatment, it was quick, simple and the chlamydia was eradicated but I was told I would have likely been made infertile. Years of no contraception and no child I got used to it. Unfortunately, years later at age 27, when I was married and wanted to try, it was confirmed after a laparoscopy that my reproductive system had suffered tremendously and as a result the scar tissue strangled my ovaries and tubes and I was officially told IVF would be my only option. But IVF with the postcode lottery and super strict criteria meant I didn't qualify. Right, history lesson over. All my adult life I have always been up front and open about this. I have no shame about the STI that caused it. Fact of life. Anyway, my lovely local vicar, a nice old lady, stopped by the other day and I said to her I really wanted to help people, and I want to be able to turn the negative of my situation into something positive. After discussing this with her, I popped onto BBC news to see whats happening in the world and found an article about the generation of 16-24 year olds who are getting chlamydia on a huge scale and who are largely indifferent about it . Anyway, I scrolled down and found your details and have made the decision to get in touch to find out ways I can help. I am particularly interested in any outreach work that you know of both in my area or in London. I really would like to help raise awareness. I think I can make a difference. In some situations, I believe there is nothing quite like a real person, with a real story who is actually suffering the consequences to be able to reach out to some people. I have no experience of working with or talking to adolescents in this way as yet, but I know I want to spread the word and wondered if you had a structure of outreach in which I could participate and aid the cause. I just want these young people to be aware that it is a silent disease often with no symptoms but the effects later on can be devastating. Thanks for reading and taking the time to hear my story. If you think that I could be useful in some way then it would be great to hear from you. I often travel into London so I am familiar with the city although I live in the outskirts in ******. My details are below, I hope to hear from you soon. Kind Regards ****** Ms **** *********** Tel: ********* Fingers crossed and I will updated you all. Thanks again for your support. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alexia Posted March 8, 2010 Report Share Posted March 8, 2010 Sounds really excellent, might be an idea now to make enquiries with regards a whatever check you have to have to work with adolescents. CBI? is it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanctuary Posted March 8, 2010 Author Report Share Posted March 8, 2010 Thanks Alexia - to be honest... if i fail any checks they might do then stuff it... I am what I am and if that ain't good enough then too bad! Not gonna worry about all that at this stage! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted March 8, 2010 Report Share Posted March 8, 2010 Some people think that if you get a sexually transmitted infection you just take a pill or some cream and it goes away. Your experience shows that this is a dangerous misconception. I think you are doing a very brave and very positive thing, sanctuary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lapwing Posted March 8, 2010 Report Share Posted March 8, 2010 Wow, I think you're so brave. As others have said, I think you should be yourself and tell your story straight, it's powerful enough on it's own. The check is the criminal records bureau check (CRB) but I doubt they'd have to do it with you, it only comes into force if you're having regular contact with the same kids, or are on your own with them. Good luck xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benway Posted March 8, 2010 Report Share Posted March 8, 2010 Hiya sanctuary Good on you for taking it upon yourself to get involved in this. I really hope it will be a 2 way street, that you too will get confidence, healing and growth out of it as well as the teens learning vital info that may seem irrelevant to them in a booklet , but with a real life speaker may hit home. Good luck with it all. You are an inspiration, a.m xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanctuary Posted March 8, 2010 Author Report Share Posted March 8, 2010 thank you so much for all your support. Indeed a.m. it is a two way plan... I get to perhaps prevent someone from getting to the point that I did (which means alot in itself) and for me, it takes the 'bite' out of the feeling of utter uselessness of my reproductive organs! It's taken me a while to get to this point of confidence. I have wallowed in self pity long enough. Time for action. The support here is incredible I have to say, so thank you everyone xxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink stars Posted March 11, 2010 Report Share Posted March 11, 2010 ((sanctuary)) I think that you are doing a great thing hun, I wish you all the best x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanctuary Posted March 16, 2010 Author Report Share Posted March 16, 2010 Bullshit replies from government - said I needed to have experience of the IVF process!! WTF?!!! I can't even qualify co of my BPD and didn't wanna talk about this anyway. It's like saying to the kids - it's ok do what you want, we won't try and prevent you but we will try and fix you once you're broken! Fucking idiouts! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lapwing Posted March 16, 2010 Report Share Posted March 16, 2010 I'm sorry, that does sounds like total bullshit. Can you write back explaining your situation? xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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