Alexithymia

[Kazz]

Hi

If anyone has been diagnosed with alexithymia I would realy like to hear from you.............Feeling so alone! :(

[Siamsa]

Hi Kazz,

I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling so alone...

(((Kazz)))

Is this a recent diagnosis? If so, I think it's important for you to give yourself the space/time to get your head around it. Remember a diagnosis is not meant to be a label to isolate you, it's suppose to be a way to recovery, to help you and those who work with you decide on a course of action to help you get better. =)

I've got a friend with Alexithymia, and he's a great guy. =)

Remember that everyone is an individual, and all of our problems are somewhat different and unique. A diagnosis is just a tiny part of who you are! I'm sure there are a lot of people here who can relate to certain aspects of your difficulties, and vice versa.

Keep talking Kazz, you're not alone!

Take care,

- Siamsa

[hummm_mabbe]

Hi Kazz

Dont know if you saw it, I replied to your other thread about alexithymia, asking about treatments and things. Link is here

Hope is helpful. Can very much relate to the feelings involved with alexithymia, but dont have an 'official' diagnosis.

Ross

[Ulrica]

I haven't gotten the diagnosis offically, mainly because well, over here it's not a diagnosis that is given. However my therapist says I most certainly have it. For me, it has explained so much. Granted, it is so frustrating, all the time, with everyone I speak to that don't know me very well. My therapist and I are currently working on finding ways for me to express myself, mainly through metaphores and similaes atm. Mindfulness (as Ross pointed out) is also a great help. However it will take a long, long time. I still find it torture when I can't explain things, or it comes out wrong or when people misunderstand me.

There is an author called Joyce McDougall who has written a book on the subject (although she calls it disaffection, which to me, is honestly, a more correct way of discribing it, not that labels matter that much, it's the core that does) called "Theaters of the body". It's well worth reading.

- Ulrica

[hummm_mabbe]

Hi Ulrica

Im gonna read that bookie, ta for writing it! Also, missed youuuuu! Where ya been? **hugs Ulrica**

Also to add to thread - lately I have realised that its mindfulness of the BODY that I need in order to deal with stuff. Mindfulness of thoughts and beliefs is only 40-50% of the story - I have found I need to work directly with my bodily sensations. Tummy, diaphragm, lungs, legs, throat, head, eyes, shoulders - they all do their own special thing and in combinations with each other, and each of those combinations tells me something.

It really is like the body lends things meaning - so you can "challenge beliefs" all you want in your head - if you arent working with your body, it can all be for nought. For me, the body is the seat of meaning. When you are alexithymic, its like having someone shouting at in a foreign language two rooms away. You know you feel shitty, you know its scary, but its difficult to pin down where its coming from, you have no ability to talk to it, understand it or convince it to calm down a little. Its just like an unseen filter that colours everything. You actually have to learn its language, find where its living, and also see that there are no words to it. You have to get to know it and GIVE it words.

You can also use mindful acceptance of bodily sensation to reduce or eliminate those horrid sensations that come up as well. Its such a mind blowing, yet simple concept when it starts to make sense.

Ross

[Effervescence]

I have the opposite problem, too many damned feelings. Too many emotions (almost always very negative) and way too intense. I have spells when the emotions overwhelm me to the point that I scare people--they tell me I'm acting weird, talking weird, acting like I'm "possessed" or something. I think it's this damnable Borderline PD thing. I was doing a lot better with it but now it's a lot worse, no idea why. I despise being this way.

So I use meds to try to tone down the emotions. If it weren't for (massive doses) of Xanax and Ambien, God knows what I might have done by now. When I'm like this I just try to medicate myself into oblivion and sleep thru it. Because otherwise I know I'll do something completely crazy.

Right now I'm so doped up on benzos and sleeping pills I can barely focus, but before I go to bed (yeah, I'm a night owl too), I'm gonna take another Ambien. Lost count of how many I've taken in the past few days--and that's not counting in the Xanax. But without doping myself up like this, the emotions are so overwhelming I'm afraid of doing something completely nuts. Wouldn't be the first time, either. No wonder nobody likes borderlines--I keep scaring people off. If only they realized how bad I am to be around when I'm like this....

Sorry, I know I'm rambling (all these meds make me fuzzy-headed), but I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm trying to put myself into a drug-induced state of alexithymia. And yes--I know that's weird. :wacko:

[AccidentalBully]

totally get what what you're saying effervesence.

i would like to feel numb too.

[hummm_mabbe]

Hi guys

In alexithymia its not that there arent any feelings. The feelings can be just as large and overwhelming as any, its just that the person has a lot of trouble understanding what they mean.

Alexithymia literally means "without words for emotion". The feelings are there, its just like they are speaking a foreign language. You still feel your guts cramp up, or your chest or throat constrict like anyone else, you just dont know what it means.

Ross

[Kazz]

Thank you, so good to hear from you xxx