'the Quiet Borderline'

[denise24]

hi, i was dx with depression first, when i was, and that stuck untill i was 31 when eventually i got the BPD dx. i dont sh that bad, but i do swap my sh traits, cutting, drinking to excess, sex, food etc

i think there are diff levels of bpd. i am told i am a high achieving bpd cause i have been married, can hold down a relationship and a full time job and a social life, to some extent, as i am a good role player x

I havent been told I am high achieving.... BUT. I can relate. I have my own business, and a partner. I was in an 8 year relationship..... But like you said.... im also a good role player. I know what I "should" be doing to have a "normal" life and go along with it.

[amg27]

I used to be the typical, acting out, raging borderline that would smash rooms to pieces. After having DBT, the rages are gone so I guess the whole 'Quiet Borderline' thing fits me best now. I never really act out these days, though after almost a year of no self-harm I've found that I've gone back to it. I tend to internalise my pain now, which seems to result in more self-damaging behaviours ... I don't like others to be affected by my moods ...

[benbanj]

I'm a classic "quiet" Borderline, I take out pretty much everything I feel on myself, which isn't that great for me obviously, but I'm too conscious of how my illness affects others. Outwardly I'm quite shy and it takes a lot to make me angry. I should have been an actor really!

In terms of advice, although It's almost hard to believe, a lot of GP's, psychiatrists and other health professionals will simply fail to diagnose you properly or fail to see the signs. I have unipolar as well, and was finally diagnosed with that last year, but my first GP and psychiatrist made me feel like I was making it up, talked to me like I was a child for the most part and failed to recognise my BPD. This really made my position even worse at the time, but luckily I took advantage of one of my good days earlier this year to have enough belief in myself to realise it wasn't my fault, that I was right, and so I went to see a new psychiatrist. Who in 'one' session realised and diagnosed my BPD straight away. 20 odd years and all it took was that one right person.

It's been having that correct diagnosis that has finally led to me feeling better then I ever have. So I would say if you have a doctor, or whoever, who is talking down to you or dismissing your concerns, and feelings, then just leave straight away. Find a new doctor until you find a good one who genuinely knows what they are doing and, maybe even more importantly, actually seems to care. If nothing else it was amusing going back to see my first GP just to show him the proof as to actually how ill I was! You should have seen his face, hehe. He still didn't have the decency to apologise though!! His pride was obviously more important, but at least it may have helped any of his future patients which, I guess, is the most important thing.

[k_pressy]

I haven't been 'mentally right' for years, I am 20 now and things started to hit when I was 12. I was passed backwards and forwards between the CMHT and GP for 5 years and it wasn't until I tried to kill myself that they actually started taking me seriously.

if you think there is something more than what they are diagnosing then keep persevering until someone pays attention. Change doctors. Go round the whole damn surgery until someone actually listens to you. Nobody knows you better than yourself. Don't just wait until you fall into the stereotypical symptoms of BPD, because usually by the time you get there then theres no going back.

k_pressy

x

[Christine001]

never mind sorry

[sweetie]

I was very pleased to have found this thread as I am definitely a quiet borderline. I don't rage at anyone and keep things to myself but my anger is turned inward on myself.

I have been my own worst enemy. My bpd hasn't for a very very long time been recognised and my inner pain recognised because I don't take it out on anyone but myself. I too am shy, but do my best to integrate but find it hard to and always have. So I pretty much keep myself to myself. I too easily get attached to people and when they leave it hurts like hell.

I have a supportive husband though who doesn't take advantage of my fears and worries and a lovely 10 year old daughter. However, my inner pain sometimes feels too much and I often long not to be here. No reflection on them.

Going to read this thread again, just wanted to say hi and yes this is that I'm a quiet borderline too. Glad to read that I am not the only one.

DIZGIRL

I am so sorry to have read about the way you have been treated by the mental health people. I too have struggled to get any support and have suffered a lot internally with little or no support. I have some support now but my care-coordinator has left to have a baby and there has been no handover to the new care-co-ordinator who I will be meeting on Tuesday but have never met as yet. They just make you feel like a pain.

They have refused me any more psychotherapy maintaining that I get too attached to people and that it would be more damaging than therapeutic. They have admitted that they don't know how to help me. I don't think they really know how to help anybody.

[granite]

was just wondering if any one here has read that book.the quiet borderline is very differnt than BPD.it defines someone who seems to be lacking in personality all together.not just someone who doesnt exsibit the mood stuff a BPD person does.a quiet borderline tends to pick up the personality of what he /she thinks the person the quiet B is interacting with.has no real self at all.read the book it is quite interesting