treadgently Posted March 28, 2010 Report Share Posted March 28, 2010 Hi all, I hope you're all having a good weekend, or as good as it can be anyway as I more than know that life isn't all that great at times. I've been diagnosed with BPD but also suffer with depression and anxiety at times and am on medication for both depression and anxiety. My moods are like a rollercoaster and I never seem to have more than one day of level-ish mood EVER. My moods are all over the place and people around me find it hard to know what to do around me, I'm meaning my husband and my parents struggle. I have 2 very good friend "in real life" and they have their own mental health issues and they are more able to understand the rocky roads of mood swings. I've lied about some terrible things in my life and very recently came clean about it all to my husband, parents and 2 friends. Luckily I still have my 2 friends and they were very understanding and non-judgemental, my parents told me they love me unconditionally and my husband is being quiet as he's struggling to come to terms with the fact that I lied to him for the 6 years we've been together about some pretty major stuff. However, at present we're still together and I hope we will continue to be together. I'm hoping he just needs some time and he is civil with me and will answer me if I talk to him so *fingers crossed* things won't all crumble around me and I hope he doesn't want us to split up. However, things ARE crumbling around me regarding myself and the impact of this recent huge truth telling I've done. I feel like crap and am starting to feel suicidal again although have no plans to do anything, it's just thoughts at the moment. I'm one of those people who gets mixed feelings about suicide. I can genuinely feel suicidal and make plans of how I would do it and so on, but yet on the other hand still have thoughts like above and not wanting my husband to kick me out when of course if I did commit suicide then I'd be "leaving" him. Sorry, this hasn't been much of an intro but more of a garbled message about things that are going on for me lately. I hope to make some contacts with people here and to give and receive some support. Take care all, Love from L xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daisy duck Posted March 28, 2010 Report Share Posted March 28, 2010 hi and welcome. i hope you work things out with your hubby.you may have lied but you came clean and admitted it s give yourself credit for that. x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tissuesanissues Posted March 28, 2010 Report Share Posted March 28, 2010 Youre making some good steps - and keep riding that coaster girl!! x Welcome btw x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lapwing Posted March 29, 2010 Report Share Posted March 29, 2010 Hi and welcome, hope you work things out with your husband Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grumpykitten Posted March 29, 2010 Report Share Posted March 29, 2010 Welcome. I replied on your other thread. I hope you and your husband manage to work things out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quiteemma Posted March 29, 2010 Report Share Posted March 29, 2010 hello and welcome to the site xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foiled Posted March 30, 2010 Report Share Posted March 30, 2010 hey begentlewithme - welcome to the forums. i am sorry you've been having a rough time with thoughts, they can be extremely overwhelming, can't they? i myself struggle day to day with intense thoughts to take my own life - but they never really form into plans, just interrupt me day by day leaving me feeling awful in the process i am just glad you have some support around you in real life , i hope you find some support here- i have no doubt you will take care hun x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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