Wow! Project Sanctuary! Wow! Wow!

[Maeon]

OMG ive just discovered a book that is going to change my life. Its called Project Sanctuary. theyve got one left at Amazon but you can buy the ebook on instant download for £19.99 i think from the dragonrising website. OMG OMG OMG OMG!!

What it basically is is getting to know your unconcious mind and resolving all the issues youve ever had. You do it by creating your own sanctuary in your mind, this perfect world where you are totally safe and you go exploring in it, making gorgeous landscapes, homes, portals endless stuff. You start of small and as you read the book she tells you the type of things possible and what you can start doing in there to begin healing as well as guiding you through how to do that.

Ive been lying on my bed all day in this huge beautiful place ive created in my head, setting up portals for time travel, library rooms containing all my memories, setting up a dream home, planting exotic plants, asking golden dragons to protect my sanctuary, befriending and comforting dinosaurs that i used to have nightmares about that for some reason wandered to my shimmering lake area this afternoon (they are lovely and live there now) hahaha. OMG ive got this golden forest that popped up, not sure what it is yet but theres something really special about that place. Then i decided to ask all the pets ive ever had if theyd like to join me, some said yes so ive created this big tunnel network in the forest for my little hamster that died a few years ago. My budgies i had as a kid are in the forest having fun. My childhood best friend dog keeps me company in there now! A white tiger likes to sit on my porch?! My Great Nan who i loved dearly was overjoyed when i asked her if shed like to join me and she now has a cottage by the lake and is looking after the budgies. Best thing about the whole thing though is there was this small boy there whenever i was, and i realised after a while that he was going to be my guide. As time went on he grew up and its seriously like hes my best friend in the whole world, i cant describe it! I went into one area and suddenly my old house where bad things happened was there on a hill, silent and dark. Im not ready to go there yet to heal the problems so asked a golden dragon to shield it for now, but my friend was suddenly beside me and held my hand. I hugged him and suddenly i realised id known this person forever and id missed him so much, i was in floods of tears in real life. OMG i have this teddy bear ive had since i was little and hes there and has come to life so ive helped him set up his dream home too lol!! Ive not finnished the book yet but wow, theres so much stuff you can do, beings to meet and most importantly so many ways to use it to heal!! I had a nap earlier and guess who was there in my dream, my friend!! its mad!!

So yeah ive been busy today lol, I got up to make a cup of tea every now and again and my whole body was glowing, i havent been able to shake a huge smile all day!!! This is going to completely and utterly transform my whole friggin life!!!!! :lol:

[just.me]

I wish I could do that.

But for me, I never dwell on what happened to make me the way I am, I talk about it matter of factly, with no emotion whatsoever. Maybe that is why I am the way I am, cos I don't feel anything about it, it is what it is.

I can't change it, I can't go back and live my life over, I have what I have and that's it.

I can go back over thing's I have done that was real BPD shit, bad times last six months with the BPD. But I can't change it either, when I talk about it I just say I know it's wrong and no logic but my head think's its right.

I just want a labotomy on the emotional sector.

I wish I could do something like you are doing, but because I have no feelings with regards to what caused me to be like this, it wouldn't work for me.

[emmie18]

Hello Maeon

That sounds so totally amazing!! lol

Its mind boggling how a book can really make someone change their life.... might go and buy one now and see if i can get a perfect image.

Thank you

Emmie xx

[Maeon]

(((((((sioux)))))))) im so sorry to hear that.

Well it does start off very small, theres no pressure to do anything until you are ready. I too am a very matter of fact person and for about an hour there was just white and i wasnt sure if i would be able to do it. I actually got really frustrated and saddened so went looking online for pictures of things that make me feel good inside, landscapes, trees, music. That seemed to unlock my imagination and before i knew it i was creating these vast beautiful landscapes. Now I cant believe what im seeing and where my mind is taking it, i just want to paint it! I think for me its really going to help with my creativity because i have been feeling so stifled, scripted and cut off my whole life.

I must say though if ive learned one thing today its there is a chance for me to go back, to make things right again within myself. The book as well is riddled with stories of people whove tried this, their sanctuaries, their experiences in there and the way their lives totally transformed over time. Its written so informally and genuinely i really believe there is hope now of deep healing. Obviously its not going to be everyones cup of tea i just hope to show there is another way if you are drawn to this type of thing.

I hope things get better for you xxxx

[just.me]

I wish I could feel, then I'd be chuffed to do summat like that. Somewhere you can go revisit, add/remove things. Change the scenery like the seasons.

[just.me]

hmmmm sounds like you could use that though to get over things. Like broken relationships, get yourself away from everyday problems, like you would with meditation.

Promising for sure. Let us know how you get on please. x

[Maeon]

Hi Sioux,

Its your world entirely, you decide to do whatever you want. If its just a lovely relaxing room thats a sanctuary! Ive got Motzarts piano in my bedroom and a pot plant so far lol I tried the piano out this afternoon and wooooah, im really talented in there hahaha

Everything is under your control, like i was freaking out about the budgies pooping all over the place then thought hey! this is my sancuary nothing needs to poop here! lol

Also you can reverse time if you dont like where its going. Like i was making some doorways in a desert area to the library, other realms and one for visitors but then decided i didnt like it so reversed time and saw it all undo itself. I decided instead to put a portal to other realms in the forest, had the library in my back garden and made a prettier entrance for visitors, theres a rather pretty potted plant and a welcome mat now tehe

It makes it clear that things only pop up in there when you are ready to deal with it. I like a challenge so next to my libary door theres a machine that will give me one book containing a memory to deal with when i want to do something constructive. When i opened the book and entered the memory i dont want to have it in my sanctuary so instead I created bubbles in space made of diamond to contain it and asked the golden protection dragons to guard it. Also i make sure ive got a button with me so i dont like the memory or need time to think about how to heal that situation i can collapse the bubble back into the book and put it back in the library for another time.

Jeez if had been reading this 18 hours ago i would have thought it couldnt possibly have come from my head, all of this imagary came from nowhere. I have no interest in dragons let alone golden protection ones lol. They actually came about because i asked my friend how to protect my sanctuary and they just appeared there, so he must have something to do with it lol.

OMG listen to me?! hahaha

[sarabpd]

I am happy for you maeon. Be happy Let us know how it progresses x

[Villan]

wow..........

I did that kinda stuff before a lil through meditation, i had a "safe room" where i went when i needed to boost my energy and deal with stuff safely - kinda like a "healing room" i created everything in there in very fine detail, i just never thought of expanding it to a complete world...

I also have another safe place in my head that I also go to - it is a horse field i used to go to as a child and sometimes i see my daddy there sat on a bench too...

The book dispenser idea sounds fantastic... it does all sound very very safe...

Just peeved that i am at work, cos i wanna start having a go now...

Please keep us updated - and thank you so very much for sharing this idea with us...

Kath x

[hummm_mabbe]

I wish I could do that.

But for me, I never dwell on what happened to make me the way I am, I talk about it matter of factly, with no emotion whatsoever. Maybe that is why I am the way I am, cos I don't feel anything about it, it is what it is.

I can't change it, I can't go back and live my life over, I have what I have and that's it.

I can go back over thing's I have done that was real BPD shit, bad times last six months with the BPD. But I can't change it either, when I talk about it I just say I know it's wrong and no logic but my head think's its right.

I just want a labotomy on the emotional sector.

I wish I could do something like you are doing, but because I have no feelings with regards to what caused me to be like this, it wouldn't work for me.

Hi Sioux

I think this is quite an understandable take on what revisiting the past is about. As you say, you cannot change it, and what’s more it hurts to look at it. It just feels like digging out an old scar with a knife or something, why bother?

The thing is, there are ways to do it that go beyond that definition, and if anything, looking at your definition may be your first step towards change. You said yourself - "I cannot change the past, I cannot change myself - this is the way I am". As the past is immoveable, so is the present and the future. Give in to it, the path of least resistance. When life is already full of stress, why add more that seems to have no point or resolution?

The key is that the past makes the present, and the present makes the future. Yes the past is immutable - but the present and the future are not. Now I’m not talking from some quantum or philosophical point of view – I’m talking from a psychological point of view. You learn how to relate to others and yourself from the past. The more emotionally coloured the lesson, the greater impact it tends to have. This impact then has its own momentum - it becomes like a filter that the world and everything is seen through, FELT through - in your guts, your heart, your spine, your chest. You cannot observe the filter, because it is like the background noise, or background music. Like in a film, you don’t pay attention to the spooky violins, you just feel the 'spook' of the scene. You don’t pay attention to the nice major-chords behind the romantic comedy - you just respond to the fuzzy sensation it gives you. But you can spot the effects of the filter.

Spotting your filters in action takes a lot of hard work. It means standing back with awareness, rather than living 'out of' them. (People often confuse being aware of their emotions with feeling them. With awareness, there is the sense of standing back and observing, even while feeling. Not being driven by the inertia of the sensation.) You need to know where they have come from, because when you do you start to see that perhaps they are wrong. You need to know how they have acted throughout your life to keep themselves intact, because these patterns fight for survival. They are like computer viruses - colouring every experience you have, every choice you make, in such a way that their code is reproduced in just about every relationship, work environment etc that you find yourself in. That is why they seem so immoveable, so unchangeable. They can be like chasing ghosts, always one step ahead, but only as long as you chase them and let them lead. They lead by giving you a sense of reward each time they activate - either through the sense of "yes, my suspicions about this person / me / the world are once again shown to be true", or the sense of attraction (perhaps sexual / friendhsip, but can also be the "Im going to beat this effer / save this victim etc" type) that people who are bad for you will generate.

It is literally talking about smashing through your perception of reality - and to do that takes something with great power. The most powerful thing for most us, the thing that provides the energy, are those experiences from the past. Seeing how these experiences and their emotional flavour 'copy' themselves throughout our present provides the first plank in breaking their influence. But as you say, right now you talk about it unemotionally, without feeling. That is another level of the process - feeling into emotion, both the past, and the present. Reconnecting with the shut-off parts of the self. Its not something you can make happen, just do. It happens on its own timetable, as part of the process. The scaffolding this all happens on, the under-strutcture, is a trusting, supporting and safe relationship. It can be found in many ways, but often a therapy relationship is the first real opportunity to find this. Even then, it must be worked at. Establishing trust can be just as hard as any other part of the process, as those same codes work to undermine it just as they will any other relationship.

None of this can happen quickly. It can’t be manualised or given a three step how-to. Its an organic process that takes place inside of you and almost despite yourself, once certain conditions are put in place. One of the first conditions is suspending what you think you know about yourself, and what is possible. It can be hard to let go, and to embrace uncertainty. Clinging onto what we know provides some comfort, even if it hurts. Like floating in the middle of an angry ocean and being told to let go of the marker buoy, even if our feet are freezing and we keep swallowing water, we'd still rather hang on. Its developing the sense of faith that if you follow a certain path, kick your feet a little in a way you never did before, then there may be a rescue boat just over the crest of the next wave.

Ross

[just.me]

Ross

When I remember things I feel nothing though. Nothing at all, just like you would when you remember the first car you had. I feel nothing. No emotion at all. Is that right?

[hummm_mabbe]

Hi Sioux

Its right for where you are now, yes. There is no absolute right, or a place where you should be - its easy when people talk about therapy to somehow feel like you are failing if you cannot experience what they talk about. Often whats being described is a place you will only recognise when you reach it.

Fundamental things like the ones you are remembering very often do have no emotions attached. There are lots of reasons for this, but you can kind of think of them as like alphabet soup. Usually you take a spoonful, and you get some sauce and a letter or two. Your AB tastes of tomato, yum, or oxtail - UGH. But with some memories, its like you just get the pasta part. Your AB seems flavourless and drab - but the soup stays in the bowl. Unthinkingly you swill your spoon around and take a load of sauce. Ugh its oxtail again - but theres no letters. Where does this horrible flavour come from? What does it mean?

In case my metaphor is too obscure, the 'flavour without meaning' is the freeform depression, anxiety, anger - all those turbulent feelings that seem to drift in and out of your life so often. They have become detached from the original source, and you tend to feel them in connection with everything EXCEPT the original occurrences. There will also be flavours in there that you werent aware of - underneath the anger and anxiety may be sadness, loneliness, even terror.

In a way whats happening here is what I am trying to describe to you. You have told me that when you think of the memories, there is no feeling, and that is enough to make you belive there never ever will be, or that there could be. That is what I mean about seeing reality through filters. EMOTIONALLY you feel nothing. When you 'check in' with your body there is no feeling. Your body is the marker buoy. It is your sense of certainty. I am talking about suspending the belief in the GUT sense of things, in the actual emotional, as opposed to intellectual, feedback that your mind and body give you. But as a person cannot 'just do' that, what I am saying is engage in suspension of disbelief. Entertain the idea that the feelings do exist, that things can change, and engage only with the process. Certainty that they cannot change acts like a self fulfilling prophecy, because you never open yourself up to possibility, feeling or the effort it can take to work into this stuff. It makes it far harder to tolerate the frustration and roadblocks you will encounter.

When real change occurs it wont be at the level of thoughts. It will be at the level of your body, your guts.

[just.me]

Wow Ross makes a lot of sense.

I do a lot of the self fulfilling prophecy stuff! In fact I have lived by it! I am one of those that only sees the negative and if it turn's out different whoooopeee.

[hummm_mabbe]

Its useful - it serves a self protective function. But again the belief that you need these added layers of protection is part of the same system. You have felt the pain again and again, and you believe fully that you always will. When someone tells you that it can be different, your guts tell you otherwise - without using words. You can FEEL that message grip your body.

The problem is that issues of self defence and safety consume your world, and push out much of anything else. You feel depressed, empty, but cannot take your focus off the issues of self protection and safety. Issues of anger, power and whether or not it is being used against you domainate the scene, and they take on an absolute gravity of their own. 'Getting better' is not so much about solving those problems directly - eg becoming unassailable. Its more that the issues simply lose their gravity, and so their capacity to suck you in and overwhelm you. With more freedom to move around, more of the deeper needs of your life can be uncovered and fulfilled.

Anyways sorry for hijacking .... **doffs cap to Maeon**

Ross

[just.me]

Ross, you make so much sense, I like what you write, you show so much understanding of what makes people tick in specific ways!.

[Maeon]

Just quickly plsss consider reading the book first if you wanna try this. Ideas for dealing with any situation that pops up is written about in detail with examples from her clients experiences. Having read the ebook id never ever do this without it, i wouldnt know how to solve half this stuff lol.

Its made very clear too the only real rules of project sanctuary is you ask people for assistance or to join you and you thank them, and the main rule you dont analyse what things mean. If you want to know the meaning of stuff you can ask it, everything communicates in this world even the scenery lol.

Anyways I have news to report. Last night I went into the house.

Going into this house of horrors was huge for me, and id like to share with you all what happened as this was always going to be the single most potentially terrifying thing to do...

During my travels around my Sanctuary last night i couldnt stop thinking about that silent dark house on the hill. I dream about this house all the time so i assume i am trying to work through it unconsciously anyway. Eventually i decided to go to the library book dispenser and ask for the memory book (i had thanked the dragon and collapsed the house into a book earlier in the night so it wasnt 'active' in my sanctuary). The dispenser gave me the book, i believe this really means i was ready as the dispenser will only give me memories that i unconsciously want and am ready to heal.

I opened the book and the memory opened inside a diamond bubble in space. I know now i dont need an escape button, the bubbles collapse immediately when i want them to without question anyway. So there i was, standing at the bottom of the hill again. I looked at the house, the atmosphere was cold and grey and the house dark and scary as it was before. I felt a little frightened to asked my friend to join me. He appeared immediately and held my hand. I then asked a dragon to come and protect me and a huge golden one appeared and hovered in the sky above the house. The first thing i wanted to change was the weather, cold and dreary was not pleasant so i made an orange evening sun to appear and as it shined through the clouds cleared away, the sky was glorious. I immediately felt the warmth of this orange light. i then asked the sun to provide purifying healing energy and a powerful goldish light joined the gentle orange. The atmosphere now was fabulous and i began walking up the long drive. As i went upwards i allowed the concrete under my feet to dissolve into nutrients and sink into the soil below, and beautiful grasses and flowers grew up behind me and all around me. i asked the sun to shine its healing energies on the ground before me to purify the ground i was changing. When i got to the front door i looked behind me to see the hill leading up to it was now a beautiful meadow. I opened the front door and could see into the dark hallway. Standing there was me as a teenager looking tired and frightened, i gently approached her and told her i was here to help, hugged her and told her my friend and I(his name is Kai) were here to help. She was so relieved i had come and Kai took her hand too. Now i was inside the house I realised how dark and nasty the energy was. I began to feel like me and Kai would need more help to deal with the house so I asked Jack Bauer (yes, thats Jack Bauer of 24 hahaha) to join us for protection. He immediately appeared gun at the ready, which i thought was a bit overkill lol. I explained to him there was no need for guns here but i wanted him for moral support and he understood so put the gun away and stood waiting for instruction. Then i noticed the eye of the golden dragon peeping in through the front door. He was far too big to come in so I asked him to replicate himself into smaller dragons, which he did and 3 small dragons entered the hallway and waited with Jack Bauer. Then about 4 light beings joined us, their energy was WOW so i thought then i was ready to proceed. I asked Kai to stay in the hallway because i intuitively knew i was going to find more people that needed my help in there. He was happy to do that and teenager me was happy to stay with him so that was fine. Then i thought, right lets get to work. My first problem was the darkness in the house and how claustrophobic it was so i simply disconnected the upper house from the ground level and shifted it over temporarily so all the downstairs rooms had no ceiling. The sunlight flooded the place and began purifying the atmosphere and penetrating deep into all the surfaces. It now felt ok to walk further into the house. First thing i noticed was the doorway to the cellar. The real house didnt have a cellar but a couple of nightmares took place in there. As i walked up the hallway the light beings behind me were flash freezing and purifying the walls of the house which would then disintegrate into nutrients and fall to the soil below. Once again as i was taking each step the ground beneath me was turning to soil and beautiful grasses and small flowers were blossoming. I knew at this point that i was going to turn this hill into a beautiful meadow eventually using the house as nutrients and fertilizer. When i reached the living room i peered in and asked the sunlight to purify the space for me very deeply. As it was doing that i could sense the solidity of the room easing. Then all of a sudden all the walls exploded into hundreds off white doves! they flew into the sky and i told them that if they went to my sanctuary they would find a beautiful forest and lakes and they were welcome to live there. They thanked me and disappeared, i knew they were back at the sanctuary. The living room was now meadow. The same experience happened in the connecting dining room and kitchen but this time there were some black crows as well as white doves. All that was left of the downstairs was the bathroom and this small hallway. Now in real life my brother and a visiting friend of my parents had terrifying experiences years apart in this little corridor of seeing a shadow man in a long coat and wide rimmed hat watching them at night. I asked the man to show himself, which he did, again as a darkened figure, and i asked Jack Bauer to escort him to the garden and keep him there until i was finished. He did that, the man objected a little but Jack was quite forceful lol. That was fine then, the light beings flash froze the walls of the last rooms and they fell to the soil. The downstairs was now totally gone there was just a very pretty young meadow. The back garden i allowed to overgrow. The garage was just left on that floor level and also there was a hole in the earth leading down to the cellar. I wasnt ready to deal with the cellar so covered the entrance with a diamond covering. The garage strangely wouldnt freeze or disintegrate but instead melted into an icky swamp of toxic stuff. I couldnt be arsed with cleaning that up just then so i left it for later. The house was now a strange sight indeed, it was open meadow with this floating upstairs section with stairs leading up hovering a few hundred meters away. I shifted it over back to its original place ready to go upstairs. This was the bit i was really nervous about so asked the light beings and mini dragons to stay close. As i walked up the stairs it once again was dark so I disconnected the attic and shifted it across as before so light would flood in, which it did. The first room i approached was my bedroom, although nervous id got the hang of it now so was very confident of my ability to handle what was in there. This was the room i knew would be the hardest. As the bedroom door opened the air inside turned into thousands of bats which flew into the sky. Stood in the room frozen in time was me, dissociated. I walked up to her, touched her face gently and whispered i was here to help. She looked at me and i took her gently by the arm and lead her downstairs to Kai and the other me. They both held on to her and comforted her. I wiped her tears and told her i had more work to do but everything was going to be ok. She nodded gently and Kai was holding on to her tight so i went back upstairs. My gang was still up there and they got to work along with the sunlight of either flash freezing or just disintegrating the walls of the bedroom, study, bathroom and hallway so they fell as nutrients to the meadow below. Then i walked towards my little sisters bedroom door and opened it. Inside the atmosphere was ok but i could hear whimpering. I asked anyone in the room to show themselves and my little sister, around 7 appeared and ran towards me. I caught her, lifted her up and held her until she stopped crying. I wiped her tears, kissed her cheek and told her everything was going to be ok, i was there to help. I carried her downstairs and put her down with Kai and the other Mes. The first teenager me was looking ok, my sister went between her and Kai and nodded to me she was ok. Kai smiled at me, telling me they were ok, so i went back upstairs. By now disintegrating these rooms was easy peasy, my gang and the sunlight were so efficient. All that was left then was my brothers bedroom and my parents bedroom. My brothers bedroom was fine, the only nice feeling room in the house actually, it froze and disintegrated without a problem. Then my parents bedroom, inside was my Mum sat on the bed looking very worn, spaced out and poorly. I approached her gently, knelt down and explained why i was there. She got up and i walked with her down to Kai where she stood looking very vacant with the rest of them. The bedroom had already had the frozen treatment so now all that was left above the meadow was the floating attic. I floated up and peaked in and to my amazement all that was in there were these two seriously cute pigeons. They were obviously a pair and very much in love in their home. I felt a bit guilty disintegrating their house so explained to them i had a lovely cabin back at the sanctuary and they were welcome to go and live in the attic there, i would install a super awesome one for them. They thought about it for a while and agreed so disappeared back to my sanctuary. Then the light beings disintegrated the attic and the whole house was gone! All that was left then was this gorgeous young meadow with pretty flowers, the cellar and the garage swamp. I took the diamond covering off the opening to the cellar and asked the golden dragons to go down there and investigate. I saw bursts of glowing gold coming out of the gap and then they came back up and told me it was fine, there was very little down there. I tried to go down to see but ended up sort of floating in nothingness lol. So i thought well thats that then and allowed the meadow to spread over the hole. Then i stood in front of the swamp thinking wtttfff lol. I didnt know how to clean up the mess so asked universe if there was anyone there willing to help. This huge black dragon appeared, he was a bit overweight by the looks of it lol. He sucked in the swamp and as he did his skin sprayed clean purified water and nutrients all over the ground. Then he turned white, nodded to me and flew off. I shouted thank you after him but not sure if he heard me lol. So there! the house was gone all that was left was a gorgeous meadow. Writing this I could never explain how time consuming and detailed this whole process was. It required so much concentration and time and every decision was thought through slowly and carefully and carried out in real time in perfect detail, not quickly or instantly like it reads. Ok meanwhile, Kai was still standing looking after the mes, my mum and my sister and Jack Bauer was a way away guarding this shadow guy. I went over to this freaky guy and asked what he wanted to do. He was sort of a negative fellow but nothing too scary about him, said he was from another time. I asked if he would like the light beings to do some healing on him and he agreed so they came over stood around him and did something. He kept flickering into invisible then back to black then after a while thanked me and disappeared back to where he came from. Job done. Then i called for the bats and crows to come over and explained to them it was time to go home. They agreed and were quite relieved i think so they all went back to the sanctuary and flew out of the visitors door. I went over to Kai and told everyone we were now going to go back to the sanctuary and began leading them away. When i turned around to see where the house was i saw a fine mist had settled on the new young grasses and flowers, it looked really serene. But then my intuition told me something, i asked if there was anyone else there. I heard whimpering, a child was there, very scared, very nervous and too scared to come out. I got the sense this child was not anything to do with me or my family but had been in that house before maybe. It might be another me or my brother but i wasnt convinced at all, i didnt really recognise the energy of this child. I spoke to the child gently and told him or her why i was there and they could join me if they liked to come back to the sanctuary. They were too scared and wanted to hide longer. I told them i would keep coming back for them and they were welcome to come find me at the sanctuary anytime. The 4 light beings understood i wanted to protect this child and told me they would stay with it for now. I thanked them for all their help and their compassion with the child. I thanked the dragon for his help too. Then me, Kai and Jack helped the teenager me, dissociated me, my sister and my mum back to the sanctuary. The first thing i did was take them all to the healing lagoon. The water there is crystal clear and shimmering turquoise. We all relaxed there for a while, dissociated me and my mum just floated on their backs with their eyes shut and teenager me and my little sister splashed and played. I then started thinking what on earth i was going to do with them, and decided they all needed long term care and people to look after them so in my sanctuary i created a beautiful retreat with lovely bedrooms and asked nurses and healers to join me to help me look after them. They arrived and were lovely, their eyes were so deeply compassionate and kind, i dont think they were from this world. Kai Jack and I took them all from the lagoon to the retreat, a gorgeous cabin with lots of rooms and the healers welcomed them. They each had a separate bedrooms filled with gorgeous plants and i told them they could decorate however they wanted. My little sister was very excited and decided she wanted to stay in the room with teenager me and go and visit my Great Nan in her cottage the next day. Teenager me seemed quite bemused by this and allowed her to stay, they get on great lol. I went to check on my Mum and she was just led on her bed staring at the ceiling. I told the healer to take extra special care of her. Then i said goodnight to them all and went back to my cabin with Jack and Kai. Kai lives with me so he was fine, hes always fine lol. I thanked Jack loads for his help and said to him as he was fictional he was more than welcome to stay. He said he wouldnt mind having a holiday cabin further up the lake to come and relax in from time to time and i said i would be chuffed with that (yyaaaaayyyyy Jack Bauer lives in my sanctuary!!). He went off to create his cabin. I was absolutely pooped so got into bed and really quickly fell into a deep sleep.

Then i came around in my room, i was out for about an hour in real life and was SHATTERED. All was peaceful and calm in the sanctuary and i fell into a long deep dreamless sleep. This morning i feel great, cant wait to go and look after me and my family and show them around! Also going to check up on that child today to see if they are feeling better now the horrible house has gone and would like to join me.

Wow long story, congrats if you read all that hahaha

All I know is to this day when I thought of that house it frightened and saddened me and today I think of it I see a beautiful serene meadow. Ill let you know how it progresses and who the child is if they come out.

Good times ^^

[Maeon]

Oh and Rossy your little burst of insight and positivity is most welcome lol :P

[sarabpd]

wow this is a book waiting to be written. You have a gift of self expression that I can relate to . I was there. So many questions to ask but it would take you on a different path so won't. Took awhile to digest , but thats my mind but I like it very much :)

[Maeon]

((((((((((((((((((((((((sassy)))))))))))))))))))))))))) ((((((((((((((((((((((((chips)))))))))))))))))))))))) tyvm Sass

This morning I completed the house memory book..

I woke up in the Sanctuary feeling very fresh, first thing i did was to go into the huge lake outside my house and swim which was lovely. Then i went to check on my family and the mes. My Mum was looking better, i asked the nurse how she was and she said it would take her a long time to heal. I sat by Mum and asked how she was feeling, she said very very tired in her soul. I told her she could stay here in the sactuary until she had healed and she nodded. I thought she could do with soup so asked the universe if somebody who enjoyed organic healthy cooking possibly with a knowledge of medicinal plants and herbs would like to cook for my Mum. A lady turned up she was dressed in white and had long blonde hair, she was all glowy and smily and said she was glad to help. Not long later a soup was ready and i took it to my Mum. Then i went in to check on dissociated me. She was not in good shape, lifeless and disappearing. I didnt know what to do, i wondered if she was even real so carried her to the golden forest to ask for help. Two beings came out entirely made of golden light, they took her from me and i knew she was going to be ok and i didnt have to worry anymore. Then i went to visit my sister and teenager me. They were brilliant but my little sister was very excited and bouncing with energy. I asked her if shed like to go back into her real body in the real world but she didnt want to, she really wanted to stay and have fun. So then i asked if her and teenage me would like to have a place by the lake with Great Nan. My sister was very excited but teenage me wanted to come back into my body so this was not the best situation. I played about with different scenarios but ended up rewinding time a lot. She was far to energetic to live with me or my Great Nan but was too young to live alone. Suddenly i thought of the house in mist and felt a strong urge to go back there. The light there had totally changed, it was breathtaking the whole place had healed. The four beings were there smiling and out of the mist emerged a young boy, maybe 12,13. I heard my sister squeal in the sanctuary, she obviously loves this boy very much. He was dressed in white and smiling, so peaceful a really lovely boy. He came with me back to the retreat and my little sister went wild, they love eachother to death and are obviously good friends. I trusted this boy was sensible and cared for my sister so i asked if theyd like to go and live by Nan by the lake, they were happy and said yes so i went with them to settle them in. Nan was i think a bit reluctant for responsibility so i asked the white tiger on my porch to watch over them, he agreed and went to lie on their porch instead. Teenager me was very relieved all had worked out and climbed back into my body. Then i went to visit Mum, she had eaten her soup and looked much stronger. I asked her what she wanted and she said her Nan. I asked her Nan if shed like to come and look after her but she was very busy and didnt really have the time my Mum deserved to just spend time with her. So then i asked a very enlightened future version of her Nan to look after her instead and she was overjoyed to be asked. They now live in a cabin the other side of the lake. Mum hugged me with tears in her eyes and thanked me and i waved them goodbye. Then i went back the the meadow where the house used to be to thank the light beings but they were gone. I knew the cute pigeons werent satisfied with my attic and wanted to move back so i decided it was safe to bring the misty meadow hill into my sanctuary. I planted trees and watched them grow and made the pigeons a house in the treetops. They were really pleased lol. And thats it, the whole thing has been resolved now, on to the next book when i fancy it. ^_^

[bena.baby]

Maeon, this sounds great. Sooo dozy right now, but will read more about it later.

Glad you've found something that works for you xxx

[Maeon]

((((((((((((((esme))))))))))))))) xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sorry right i just got to say my little sister is driving me bananas. Shes following me around everywhere asking a gazillion questions rofl. I was just in my kitchen making a tea and i could feel her in the Sanctuary bouncing around. I asked her what she needs and she says she wants to spend time with me. So guess im going to have to take time out from book projects to show her round. She wants to see the dinosours lol. Interestingly in real life i wasnt very close to my sister because i had so many problems. I certainly wasnt the big sister she needed. Maybe this is our chance to catch up on all those lost years

Also i know instinctively this young lad from the house want to tell me about his life. Im going to spend some time with him today, cant wait.

Jeez, for anyone that loved Fallout 3 this seriously feels like ive just made my own version in my head lol

EDIT: im gonna take this to blog now, i didnt mean for this thread to be so me based lol. If anyone alse tries this pllsssss let us know how u get on xxxxxx

[Maeon]

Well ive been doing this a while now and there are no words. It would take me a week to write down everything so far and some of it... just, holy..!

Whats really important though is how its impacting my day to day life. Well, the end of last week i dropped my degree i have been unhappy with for a while and have got myself on two therapy practicioner courses starting later in the year which is something ive always wanted to do but not had the confidence to. My dreams have changed from nightmares to lucid and I am unconciously using techniques from the sanctuary. I have a strong desire to repaint the rooms in my house light green, no idea lol. My concentration is improving, i can stay in there for three hours or so. The biggest change though is feeling so positive, day to day life seems less stifling and serious because i know theres more to experience. To wake up feeling excited to be awake again is something entirely new and im loving it. d(^.^)b

...if someone else is doing this id love to hear from you. Feel like the lone nutter telling everyone all this hahaha

[sarabpd]

(((maeon))) that is amazing . I want the book now . I really hope the new course is good for you . I am amazed x

[Maeon]

Yaaaay Sass! xxx

I forgot to say another really crazy thing for me is if somebody said to me 'paint me a picture' a few weeks ago id have so much trouble thinking of something and would most likely end up copying things from other pictures or paintings. Now i could pain a million totally unique things that came directly from my mind in vivid detail which is srsly cool.

Also ive been practicing my piano in there and am amazed to find its having a massive impact on my ability to play on the real one o.O. Reminds me of the basketball story, where did i read that? Maybe in that book actually. They divided basketball players into three groups and the aim was to see how much improvement there would be in shooting long distance hoops. The first group didnt practice for a week, the second group practiced and the third group just visualised making a perfect hoop all week. The results were no improvement for the no practice group, 24% for the practice group and 23% for the visualisation group. Imagine if they'd visualised and practiced! Its amazing really.

Good stuff ^^

[sarabpd]

Thats amazing . honestly I like the idea of the art and getting the imagination back. That must feel so refreshing to have. Thanks for sharing maeon x