Villan Posted April 29, 2010 Report Share Posted April 29, 2010 Hello Recap for those who dont know me... So, when i started this therapy lark back in august last year i couldnt name feelings... i was barely covering my basic needs, not eating, sh, drinking, freaking out, sui thoughts etc etc - you know the score... Now, i can name feelings, i can acknowledge them and they dont control me. i cook for myself every night when i get in from work, i tidy my house, i go out to cricket and stay and socialise and have proper conversations, i am med free, no sui thoughts, social drinking only... yeah i have the same ups and downs, but no extremes... o and i only go t every fortnight now not every week But recently i have been yearning more... i have quite a full life, i am getting on with my family, more open with people at work and have social stuff through cricket... i do my distance learning course... quite a list, but it didnt feel like enough... something was missing, like a big gaping hole taht i had to fill but dint know what with, but everything i started or tried felt nice for the exciting new bit, but then fell away and i got bored and stopped them - a pattern i am very familiar with... So, i took this to my therapy tonight... and she said something that i pondered on for a bit and we talked about for a bit and it feels right... I have come to a stage in my path that i am ok in the physical and the emotional, and now i need to do work on the spiritual... reconnect to my higher self... i am starting to become self-aware I know i may have lost some of you here that dont believe in this spiritual stuff, and that's ok, but i will carry on, cos someone is bound to still be with me here... So we spoke about this at length - wont bore you - and my t attends an esoteric centre not too far from here and also listed about 3-4 other places that i could also check out - she knows that the one near here does meditation classes and they are also FREE yayyyyyyyy... she feels that meditation can help me with figuring out what i need to fill the void that i feel inside me just now... It is kinda like where i was at 8 months ago with the mis-understanding of emotions... i now have a whole new set of feelings to deal with, those connected with my higher self... and meditation can open me up to beginning to understand them... Anyways, after i come back from holiday, when i see her in a fortnight she will give me loadsa leaflets for me to look through... she herself is doing a healing course there and apparently the place and people are great... Seems that my therapist is even more perfect that i thought as she can carry this on in my therapy rather than just doing the physical and emotional - she can also guide me through the spiritual... BONUS... Before anyone plays the "therapists shouldnt do this stuff" card, i wanna say that she never mentioned ANYTHING about spiritual things or her healing until I mentioned this stuff first, so she isnt projecting her beliefs on me at all... Anyways... i just thought i would share this with you as i havent posted much about me recently... so there you go... Thanks for reading Kath xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted April 29, 2010 Report Share Posted April 29, 2010 That's amazing Kath!!! Self-aware WOOT WOOT!!!! Good for you, I'm so glad you are doing so well. And the self-actualisation thingey is something you could google as it's interesting. Is it Maslov's Hierarchy or summit? The meditation sounds really positive. I can't wait to hear how you get on with it. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Villan Posted April 29, 2010 Author Report Share Posted April 29, 2010 it is Maslow - give the girl a cookie !!!! and i thought of you when i wrote the bit "someone is bound to still be with me here..." *lights another special candle for us* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted April 29, 2010 Report Share Posted April 29, 2010 **claps hands** Love you babe, just keep going OK? And have an excellent holiday xxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quiteemma Posted April 29, 2010 Report Share Posted April 29, 2010 hey kath good to hear ur doing so well hun keep it up xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Villan Posted April 29, 2010 Author Report Share Posted April 29, 2010 you know i will... will miss you - but i think the hotel has wifi and i got that on phone love you loads too xxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted April 29, 2010 Report Share Posted April 29, 2010 Hi chipples I am enjoying something of a buddhistey path at the mo so I would say yayyy for spiritual. On the subject of emotional holes however, just to field another possible for what it is .. you said you are having conversations, social things, life is coming back into view. But often when a perosn still feels a hole that never seems to close, it is because there are still deeper emotional needs and connections going unmet. A possibility is that although you are more open emotionally, you may still have some way to go to really connect with whatever the hole is. I know not everyone likes the idea of it, but you may like to look up the Emotional Deprivation schema, as a lot of what you have said above fits this pattern. Never feeling a sense of satisfaction and so on... As you say though, meditation and deeper exploration is likely to help you identify it. I guess what Im saying is have them eggies in lots of baskets Ross Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Villan Posted April 29, 2010 Author Report Share Posted April 29, 2010 thanks em ((((((((hugs)))))))) xxxxxxx and rossy... i think you may have something there too... i love it when u answer my posts with more to think on - u know that ! i think the whole point was that i was floundering with what i needed cos all the other feeling things i have been doing have left me short and i have been "following my gut" alot recently which is why we went for the "higher self" alot of the discussy bit i left out of the post did include this stuff... i said i thought i was lonely again and a few other things and we rejected them for the time being cos of other stuff that had happened... but i am conscious of something that maybe i need to meditate on that i dont yet understand fully, but after meditation, will become clearer to me and that it may well be a physical or emotional thing to deal with... i think the point is that i have kinda licked the physical and emotional link and now we are adding the spiritual into the mix and that the things that it throws up affects all three - kinda like they are not mutually exclusive... they all combine together to give the whole person... so basically, i meditate and may find that the thing i need IS on the emotional plane, just that i need the influence of the higher self to figure it out... do you understand - i hope so... i think i am all worded out atm... :wacko: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted April 29, 2010 Report Share Posted April 29, 2010 Hi chipples I think the most important thing is that you find your own answers - its only that way that they take root at that gut level Ross Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jillv Posted April 29, 2010 Report Share Posted April 29, 2010 I'm so pleased everything is going so well for you. I'll wait with baited breath to hear how the meditation goes for you. Oh and have a lovely, wonderful holiday xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Villan Posted April 29, 2010 Author Report Share Posted April 29, 2010 thanks kalico... ooooo i meant to tell you i thought of you tonight when i got home from t, there is this tortoiseshell and white cat that lives across the road from me - and i remembered that they are also known as calico cats in the US... just made me smile when i associated the pretty cat to you... Kath xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milky24 Posted April 29, 2010 Report Share Posted April 29, 2010 wooop woooop milky huggles Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Villan Posted April 29, 2010 Author Report Share Posted April 29, 2010 lovely milky huggles - thank you xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suzieq Posted April 29, 2010 Report Share Posted April 29, 2010 Hi Kath, Wow. So pleased you are doing so well. Hope the meditation will help even more. Keep us posted with how it goes. Have a great holiday. Sue x p.s. "Come on you Saints!!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fedup! Posted April 29, 2010 Report Share Posted April 29, 2010 That Abe Maslow....he knew his stuff alright! Have a lovely hols missis xxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thesloaneranger Posted April 29, 2010 Report Share Posted April 29, 2010 way to go chips! im starting to feel a bit like yourself, so ive booked myself a holistic retreat for next month. ive never got into spiritual stuff before, but ill try anything once and if theres a possibility its going to be helpful then bring it on! hope all continues to go well for you :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Villan Posted April 30, 2010 Author Report Share Posted April 30, 2010 thanks all... and yeah sloane - anything is worth a try - and if nothing else it may help you with a bit of relaxation... would love to hear how u get on if u wanna share later i done my hypno relaxation DVD tonight after work and i feel all relaxed and calm... just gotta wait til i see t in a fortnight to get the details of the places she told me about cos they dont seem to be on the internet but i can wait... i have my self help stuff to have a go at in the mean time and i have my mp3 all loaded up for my holiday need it cos i kinda hate flying i also just saw on fb that Glenn Harrold met up with Eckhart Tolle - two of my biggest influences in these things - i see that as a sign that this is the right path for me at this time... i LOVE it when this stuff happens... **claps all excitedly and does the happy dance** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daisy duck Posted April 30, 2010 Report Share Posted April 30, 2010 If your doing the happy dance things must be good it sounds like your really taking control of your life and that you are on the right path. onwards and upwards. xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink stars Posted May 1, 2010 Report Share Posted May 1, 2010 Fantastic to hear that your doing so well hun, big hugs to you lovely xx This has made me smile, brilliant to read xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fedup! Posted May 1, 2010 Report Share Posted May 1, 2010 Sorry to hijack here, but what does an holistic retreat involve, Sloane? Or anyone? Send me any links please! Sounds v v appealing xxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roxy222 Posted May 3, 2010 Report Share Posted May 3, 2010 heya lovely well done on the taking steps to figure out whats important to you stuff, gd on you however, while on the subject, you do know that maslow's hirachy of needs is totally wrong..... the bottom layer, first rung, whatever, he terms physical, food etc however meeting these basic needs is not as simple as that. like the you can take a horse to water saying.... and the reason it doesnt drink is because a horse on its own wont drink, they are herd animals and as such their safety is their frist priority and they cant drink until safely supervised by other herd memebers. humans are actually the same. appitite and hunger are two different things, in a new born their appitite is stimulated only when they are touched, there is a part pf the brain that only kicks in when they are touched which then makes them experience appitite, as opposed to jst hunger. this is an evolutionary thing, the baby must first experience being held by its mother before they can feel safe enough to feed. and this is a factor in appitite for life, many people cant eat even when food is placed in front of them, and even when they can many cant digest properly or choose what their body needs. eating is much more complex than jst hunger like maslow suggests. it is only once emotional and often physical safety are established can people nourish their bodies effectively. which is somthing we seem to have over looked in our society, me included. ever read kafka? the hunger artist? who is asked why he does not eat and who answers that if he knew what he wanted then he would, he is speaking of unmet emotional needs that dictate whether or not we can effectvely meet our basic needs, and as he can not put his finger on what he is missing, although he knows he is missing something great, he can not experience appitite only hunger. like you said you can name what you are feeling, which is fantistic, well done, and that goes along way to being able to help idenifty and meet other needs. and thats what maslow missed, that all the emotional stuff actually comes first, and not even that exactly that it is intergrained at every stage and allways necessary, essential, for every stage of living to be in contact with our feelings and what they are telling us. everyone knows the old experiments from the fifties where the monkeys were seprated from their mothers and starved before being introduced to two mother subsititutes, one a wire monkey with a bottle of milk and one a cloth covered monkey with no milk and all the monkeys chose the cloth covered monkey showing contact and comfort, even false comfort, are a greater pull in evolutionary terms. i guess thats our need to be loved, and that drives alot of what allows us to meet other needs, or not meet them if its withheld or distorted or maniuplated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thesloaneranger Posted May 3, 2010 Report Share Posted May 3, 2010 *dances happy-clappy-snappy-chappies dance with chips* you go girl! whooop whoop! for chips and fedup (and anyone else!lol), heres where im heading off to http://www.ashwhin.com/retreats.html theres a few here in scotland, but this is the only one that doesnt involve anyone else being around, which is exactly what i need. theres one not too far from me which does quite alot of shamanic teachings and you get to do firewalking....think that will be my next trip if i enjoy this one as much as i expect to :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Villan Posted May 3, 2010 Author Report Share Posted May 3, 2010 oooooooooooo sounds awesome... i did a sweat lodge a couple years ago - that was fun... there is also this place down in devon somewhere that i used to go to... they had a floatation tank - i used to use it with no lights and silence - you get total sensory deprivation that way... i am looking forward to the stuff my t brings to my next session... then i will start planning - cos you know that these kinda things are way better recommended than just discovered off the internet... get the best value have a great time sloane and please update... **wiggles hips in time with sloanes happy dance** xxxxxx ps: not hijacky at all btw - tis going off at kinda related tangents that often gives the best info in posts :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thesloaneranger Posted May 3, 2010 Report Share Posted May 3, 2010 *boogies round handbag with chips* lol! i will update no worries chips......4 weeks to go, and it cant come soon enough! lol! knowing my luck, it will be p**sing down that weekend though! grr! lol! ive used a flotation tank once, but it was bit too far out for me - i was seeing so much mad stuff i thought id dropped acid! lol! the sweat lodge sounds fabby tho.....was that like a giant sauna or something? you will need to let us know what your T suggests next, as things always seem so much more interesting when you speak to someone who has actually done them :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Villan Posted May 3, 2010 Author Report Share Posted May 3, 2010 thank you - you are right roxy - i see what you are saying, it is more cyclic than layery... esp with the food thing - i kinda had to be emotionally stable before i started caring for myself... but having said that - my basic needs WERE covered, just not very well... and then as i know we have spoken of before, as my mental state improved, my state of living improved too... all things linked physical, emotional and spiritual... all interacting with each other... i will look into this more when i come back from holiday... and what you wrote about knowing yuo need something but not knowing what is EXACTLY what i am going through... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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