A Severe Depression Misdiagnosis (Am I Bipolar?)

[TLaron]

Severe Depression or Bipolar?

I have come to this forum to hopefully get some feedback on an issue of misdiagnosis. I am very worried that I am Bipolar but have been misdiagnosed with being Depressed. About 10 years ago I was diagnosed with Depression and gradually it got worst and by another doctor the diagnosis was changed to Severe Depression. Over the years I have been taking various different anti-depressants including Zoloft, Effexor, Paxil and Wellbutrin and though they seem to have sometimes helped stabilize my mood I have still struggled with pretty severe periods of depression (missing work or school and laying in my room all day for weeks feeling guilt and worthlessness) and sudden bouts of explosive and sometimes violent anger (afterwards of which I cry excessively, feeling very sorry for my actions).

Bipolar or Ultra Rapid Bipolar Cycling?

At first my family and I believed that I was just severely depressed and had anger management issues. But as I read more and more about the Bipolar Illness I found that during the Mania periods extreme rage was one of the symptoms. And just recently I have matched another one of my behaviours to a Mania symptom which is having a restless energy for about a week or two and during this period I am always busy, getting large amounts of work finished with about 3 to 4 hours of sleep a night. This is then followed by a long period of a Depressive episode where I hardly ever leave my room for days at a time. Now I find that these behaviours fall under the basic Bipolar illness BUT I also find that during some normal behavioural periods my mood can almost instantly change to angry and aggressive or depressed and these sudden behavioral changes fall under the Rapid Bipolar Cycling Illness.

Bipolar signs in Past Incidents and Behavioral Patterns

As I look back on past incidents (especially in junior high school and high school) I have found that I have suddenly snapped and verbally and sometimes physically attacked friends and some family members. In High school and just recently I have had the most sporadic and serious mood changes but inbetween those 2 periods when I was attending college I had a more stabilized yet depressed mood. So I don't know if this falls under basic Bipolar or Rapid Bipolar Cycling (due to the sudden outbursts) OR if this type of behaviour is a Mixed Episode. Also as I look back during my childhood, some of my tantrums have included me pumelling my head or banging my head on floors and walls.

A Life in Shambles and Broken Relationships

These strange and sudden behavioral changes have negatively affected my life.

I have had many broken relationships with friends and girlfriends due to my mood swings. My family has remained by my side although I have scared them to death with angry outbursts aimed at some of them. I haven't been able to hold a job and when I was working I had numerous very aggressive and sometimes violent fights with coworkers. These angry outbursts and even the depression catatonic-like episodes have, on many occasions, popped out of nowhere and after severe tantrums I feel that the person engaged in confrontation was not the real me. I don't know what to do. My life is in shambles and I just want to have a content and somewhat normal existence. With the behavioral examples I have included, does this sound like I may be Bipolar? If so, what would be the next step and will I ever live a happy and fulfilling life? Any assistance would be greatly appreciated. Thank you all again for your time, help and for reading my post.

[jillv]

Hi there,

Welcome to the site.

Here you will find lots of support, and some fiendly people to rant to. It will help you to feel less iscolated, and you could make friends with people who have similar problems.

It is not possible for anyone on here to diagnose your specific problem, but it does sound to me that there is more going on than Severe Depression. The only way you are going to know for sure is to see a psychiatrist, which you will need to see several times so they can get a full picture and history.

There are a number of disorders, that present with very similar symptoms, so it is sometimes difficult to pin point exactly what you are suffering from. Many of us on here have been misdiagnosed for that reason. It takes persistance and tenacity on the sufferers part to get to the right conclusion.

Once an acurate diagnosis is made there are things that can be done. Tell me, have anti depressants helped in the past? Have you ever had any counselling? Sometimes a mood stabalising drug helps, but this can all be discussed with the psychiatrist, once a diagnosis is made.

Sorry I can't be more positive, but I hope this all helps to reasure you for the time being.

[donnam]

hi, like kalico said, none of us can officially diagnose, if u are concerned can u mention your concerns to your gp?ask to see a pysch?

cad

[TLaron]

Hi again

thank you sooooooo much for your responses and suggstions and for welcoming me here at this forum.

Everyone seems very helpful and caring here and it makes me feel like I am not alone and this encourages me. Thank you very much again Candace and Kalico

Well I have been seeing a physchiatrist for a while but stopped seeing her because I thought I was getting better (which might've been a manic period) but I will book an appointment with her soon and ask her if she can evaluate me to see if severe depression is what I have or if it is something else. I will also see my family doctor to ask about the neurological testing. I do write poetry and sketch to help express my feelings. Do any of you do the same?

I will keep you all updated if you like. I really appreciate your help. Thanks again everyone.

Bye for now.

Nada

[xkayleighx]

yes i do do poetry and drawings, wehave a creative corner where you can show us your artistic flare but what i will say is if they stick to what they say or refuse to re-evaluate you can always get a second opinion. i myself am borderline but my ex partner was bipolar so i have some experience of what it could be like, especially with th busy activites and during those period the desire to be first at everything but then also ive seen the depression and manicness that goes alongside that where you thing everything is wrong and you treat the ones your love with a form of "hatred", although we know its not intended, hopefully you will fine some company here, there are also a few sites for those that suffer with bipolar in its many forms. if they are of any help? x

[victorenns]

I write poetry.

[TLaron]

NekoKittyGirl, I do exactly understand what you mean about having hatred towards loved ones which is not intended :s and then afterwards feeling excessive guilt for those actions. It is really hard :s Have you shared any poetry on this site? Have you Jimmy Bang? Does writing your poetry help? If you have posted some on this forum where would you go to post? I may post some myself as it may help others in the same situation. Thanks everyone. Bye for now.