thesloaneranger Posted May 3, 2010 Report Share Posted May 3, 2010 personally think people should change their attitude towards pedestrians and stop treating them as second class to bloody cars but that is a whole dif story as soon as pedestrians start using the "green man" to cross the road, remove their i-pods and actually look where they are going, i wont need to sound my horn so much! lol! my pet hate tho is people with prams who try to cross between 2 parked cars - pushing the wee one out into the road so they can THEN look for traffic is not smart! grrrr! anyways......if you were nearer me fedup, ive the perfect person to teach you how to drive. my mums friend is a nurse, but also part-time instructor and specialises in nervous learners and over 25s. theres so many driving schools out there it can be daunting, but ask around and see who gets some good recommendations. we will get you rollin hun xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piuma Posted May 3, 2010 Report Share Posted May 3, 2010 Hi I drive, although when i was at my worst i was warned twice about being reported to dvla, but i dont think i wil eva lose it cos im incompetant, although sometimes when i am manic it can get terrible, dissociation hits sometimes and i can drive whole journeys and not remember, and apperently i drive fast when im like that my cpn was thinking of asking my pdoc if i should have my car removed whilst im like that. but i guess that would be safer long run, although dont need it right now :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maz1967 Posted May 3, 2010 Report Share Posted May 3, 2010 I drive very very fast with blue lights on, its sh*t hot. By far the most exciting thing ever, better than sex. I also ride big motorbikes (currently a V-MAX 1200) ooohhhh what that does for me is unprintable xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xkayleighx Posted May 3, 2010 Report Share Posted May 3, 2010 dude TMI maz :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fedup! Posted May 3, 2010 Author Report Share Posted May 3, 2010 Folks, i've lost the ability to quote on here, so bear with me... Ross, I completely agree with everything you've said here!!! I've read through a few times and you're right....I swear at this point I'm anxious I can't drive because apparently, according to those who laugh at me or look at me like I'm from space (minus a spaceship of course...probably wouldn't be able to drive one of the either )when I say I can't drive, I'M A FREAK!! Honestly, people have been pitying, sneering and just flabbergasted! ("You can't drive?????" -pause- "WHY??") and it does make me wonder if I'm tying myself up in knots about it cos the sad bottom line is...I'm worrying what other people think. Oh dear. So instead of having lessons for me, I'm worried I'm gonna get it 'wrong' and the instructor and others will have their attitudes confirmed. Yikes!! Didn't realise all this would come out from this post ! Walker...can relate to all you said hun xxxxxxxxxxxxx Sloane...i Heart your mum!! Tell her to keep on keepin on, it sounds like she's doing a great job xxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fedup! Posted May 3, 2010 Author Report Share Posted May 3, 2010 PS two instructors ago, had the most sarcastic lady. On our last lesson together, we were doing our usual jaunt around a local industrial estate and I stopped at a junction. She said 'ohhhhhh fedup! Now why oh why have you stopped 12 miles away from where you should be?' I sacked her there and then !!!!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxx **fedup! revs up her magic carpet, dings her bell and shouts "Last call! All aboard" xxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xkayleighx Posted May 3, 2010 Report Share Posted May 3, 2010 its cool i did that when i was learning, evenutally stopped doing it... although i find that male instructors are alot more helpful, they actually understand the car a bit better than a woman (unless you`re me ) and they make you feel more comfortable and if all else fails wear a low-cut top only joking! unless it works? :blink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thesloaneranger Posted May 3, 2010 Report Share Posted May 3, 2010 lol neo......i deliberately sat my 1st test when i was a week overdue with my daughter in the hope i would get passed so as not to stress me out! lol! my 2nd instructor was so good because he taught me how to drive, rather than just operate a car - lighting a ciggy whilst driving was one of the 1st things he taught me, and it really broke the ice and chilled me out about everything! ahhhhh, thoses were the days! lol! thanks for the love to me mum fedup.....shes been nursing a long time, but its her mate that does the driving school as well as nursing! mind u, having a mother that knows most drugs inside out isint always great - she went tonto when i was prescribed diazepam! fedup, most driving schools offer a free 1st lesson, so when your psyched up and full of all our support u can guage the instructor and also talk over your fears - if u dont click with them or dont feel they will be able to meet your needs, u can walk away with no cost to yourself and find someone else. it doesnt matter if its a guy or a girl, just so long as u feel comfortable with them. i believe having to know the basics about car maintenence is now part of the test, so ill put myself up for coaching u with that - if i can teach my hubby the difference between a mk1 escort and a mk3 escort i can tackle anything! lol! xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fedup! Posted May 4, 2010 Author Report Share Posted May 4, 2010 :) Thanks so much Sloane!! Am deffo taking you up on that xxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted May 4, 2010 Report Share Posted May 4, 2010 Hello feddy uppey Remember not to attack yourself for realising that you are worried what others think of you. This tends to be YET ANOTHER way that these critical folk get to us - "OHHHH you shouldnt worry what anyone else thinks about you!" as though that were the easiest and most obvious thing in the world. In fact, that is pretty much like saying to someone with a phobia of something "OH you shouldnt be scared of THAT". These kind of fears do not respond to the cold rationality of some person who thinks they know everything about life. Emotions have their own agenda and logic and will do what they are going to do regardless of what some know-it-all tells you they SHOULD do That same know it all would staunchly defend their right to be scared of whatever phobia THEY have, after all. The truth is you need to work with emotions, and on their timescale - you can't impose expectations and demand on them, as very often its exactly those conditions that have led to their intensity. Its difficult when they arise to see them this way, but mabbe try to treat them like scared little bunny rabbits - dont try to whip them into becoming uber-rabbits, that won't work. They need to be nurtured and supported - calm soothing words and carrots, no whips lol So recognising that you have a fear of criticism, rejection or punishment is a hugely important step. I have a MASSIVE fear of criticism, punishment and rejection. For me, its whats seen me isolated for some 3 years, because it got to such a stage I just couldnt do it anymore. It is by no means a simple, easy or straightforward thing to overcome - BUT in a driving sense, you may be able to overcome those fears in a 'limited' sense. That is, work through something like CBT to specifically work with the assessments of your instructor, of others who criticise you and so on. I would also ask - the same people who go on at you about driving, are they the same people who generally go on at you about everything else? When you think about it, is much of the fear in your life centred on these same people? Maybe its their constant nit picking and criticism that has installed this fear in you in the first place? And then they have the cheek to tell you "you shouldnt care what other people think"... If you think of their criticism, and feel a small sense of panic, or depression, or some feeling - can you say what that feeling relates to? What is it that small, inner scared part is scared of? A fear of being ultimately alone, or of being controlled, powerless? What lies at the core of it for you? Sorry to go a bit deepey deepey - so often the seemingly shallow issues can actually be a way in to the really big stuff Ross Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thesloaneranger Posted May 4, 2010 Report Share Posted May 4, 2010 np fedup hun..... ill have u so good at it you will be able to put all the peeps who are having a go at you for not driving to shame! lol! ross has raised some more good points - deffo food for thought for everyone there xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruth24 Posted May 4, 2010 Report Share Posted May 4, 2010 I have epilepsy and am not allowed a licence. Driving is a privilidge not a right. i would love to drive. My siblings got cars and driving lessons for their 17th birthdays. i got a £50 cheque, but hey i'm not bitter I have known sinse i was a child i would never be able to drive. i am 34 years old now and have accepted it. Acceptance is a great thing. i know it will never happe, so why dwell Ingrid x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milky24 Posted May 4, 2010 Report Share Posted May 4, 2010 Hello my name is Milky! I'm 24....AND I CAN'T DRIVE. I also cadge lifts, pay for taxis, struggle on public transport with bags and bags and bags and walk. Why can't I drive?? Cos Ive never tried, im a bad passenger as it is lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted May 4, 2010 Report Share Posted May 4, 2010 :lol: Eugene the Librarian Is it an act, or not? You cant quite tell .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shadow8 Posted May 4, 2010 Report Share Posted May 4, 2010 I past my driving test when I was 18. I find it good so I concerntrate on driving to places and not what I am going to them places for. When I used to use the bus I used to be sitting on the bus worrying about where I was going to but driving I had something to focus on. It may not completely help but it helps alittle and that little means alot to me. I find also I have my independence and can do things when I want to. Automatics are easier so you may want to give it ago and see how you get on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted May 4, 2010 Report Share Posted May 4, 2010 ok 3 things 1 - i am sick of drivers not stopping at crossings and driving along with phones in their hands - and yes - it happens every day here 2 - i DETEST people having a go at me for not driving, esp hub, as he still sneers and says oh ask mum, SHE can drive, and enjoys making me look bad and making me feel even more stupid and guilty 3 - i had only one driving instructor - who was brilliant - she used to video our lessons ( which i hated) and i was meant to watch them at home - they would contain LOTS of swearing from BOTH of us, and she wasnt just swwearing at me either - but we had real fun and i loved driving with her as i felt safe one time some w***** cut me up on a roundabout and we both yelled abuse - the instructor was so angry that she said we could give the video to the police as evidence - but then we realised it had recorded both of us swearing at the top of our voices - LOL (i passed my test when i had a v bad back - it hurt every time i pressed the clutch - but it was good cos i was in so much pain i couldnt focus on being nervous) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink stars Posted May 4, 2010 Report Share Posted May 4, 2010 I can't drive...really wish I could, never had the confidence or money to learn though. x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fedup! Posted May 4, 2010 Author Report Share Posted May 4, 2010 Ross - you're bob on. Thats exactly how I'm feeling!! I think I've become a figure of fun when it comes to driving...but I also think it runs deeper. E.G. " ah fedup! Whats she LIKE!! Can't drive! Typical of her!" etc... Or the despairing "her life will never be complete unless she drives" Or the scathing "she needs to grow up and stop relying on other people". Now, these things have been spoken out loud before. But I guess I'm ruminating on them too, as they echo around my head constantly. So yes I'm receiving actual criticism from some people....but I'm adding to it myself aren't I with these negative thoughts... Good lord. You're spot on Ross xxxxxx Pink Stars, I hear you hun xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Ingrid - I think that against odds its great to hear you talk about acceptance. I'll take inspiration there! xxxxx Shadow - automatic is the way forward I think! xxxxxxxxxxx Milky - Can we share a cab?? xxxxxxxxx Sloane - I'm booking you as in-house driving instructor for the forum! xxxxxxxxx Walker - hahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa! LOVE your instructor xxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milky24 Posted May 4, 2010 Report Share Posted May 4, 2010 of cause ill put 50p towards ha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thesloaneranger Posted May 4, 2010 Report Share Posted May 4, 2010 lol....im liking the nice vibes in this thread loving the sound of your instructor walker, although i think your so brave letting yourself be filmed cause that would turn me into a nervous wreck! fedup, we all faith in you....book a lesson xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted May 4, 2010 Report Share Posted May 4, 2010 it did me, sloane, but she made me, i just hated the way my voice sounded, didnt care about the swearing lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fedup! Posted May 4, 2010 Author Report Share Posted May 4, 2010 **fedup! swiftly dodges that gauntlet sloane just threw down** hahaha! Will let you know! Maybe if I ever get FRIKKIN PAID I will book one lol!! xxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thesloaneranger Posted May 4, 2010 Report Share Posted May 4, 2010 lol....im not putting pressure on you hun, so u dodge it all you want. however, when you do, we will all still be here rooting for ya! *hugs* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
successful_workthru Posted May 4, 2010 Report Share Posted May 4, 2010 Too nervous to drive. Fear I may cause an accident and hurt or kill someone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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