Fear Of Food

[SusieQ]

Does anyone else get afraid to eat? I threw up a couple of nights ago and since then I have barely eaten as I am afraid I will just throw up again. I also threw up earlier this morning. I feel like I need to sort myself out now, have a proper breakfast, and try to eat normally for the rest of the day, but I am literally afraid. Eating a slice of toast feels like running a marathon.

Problem is when I don't eat I don't sleep properly either and it all gets worse. I feel like I have had to break this cycle so many times. Its hard because other people don't realise how hard it is just to do a simple normal thing that most people do without thinking.

I guess this is more stress/anxiety than an eating disorder, but I didn't know which catagory to put it in.

[hummm_mabbe]

Hi Leech

Do you have any ideas why food is scary for you? As you eat it, what are you afraid might happen? Does it relate to putting on weight, maybe a sense of self disgust or fear of judgement? Or is it more that the food may be contaminated or bad for you? Or maybe something else? Very often phobias and anxieties seem 'free floating' - its very hard to figure out what you are actually afraid of, what the feared outcome of interacting with the object is. It can take a bit of time and practice with being 'present' for your fear, but quite often if you stay with it you can get little insights into what you are afraid of happening.

Once you do that, you have some options to help you move past it.

Do you have any recollections of something bad happening at the dinner table, or when you would eat, or perhaps someone being shamed or attacked for the way they eat / what they are eating / their size or weight?

Ross

[SusieQ]

Hummm. You've made me think. Its not to do with putting on weight. If anything I've had problems being underweight. When my anxiety was really bad I weighed under 7 stone at 5ft8 and felt like I was wasting away.

I think I'm just afraid of what is going on in my body. When I'm anxious and stressed I don't want to deal with anything new. A bit like my mind not retaining information, or distancing myself from people, my stomach can't deal with food and I throw up. I also tend to throw up whenever something happens that I can't deal with emotionally.

Tbh I just wanted some empathy really. Most of my friends work full time so when my problems are so bad I have to take time off work I'm alone all day and it sucks.

Anyway I've just had a bowl of cereal. Took about half an hour but I've kept it down. Was a nice one - special k with berries. Tasted like cardboard. Wasted on me.

[hummm_mabbe]

Hiya

I know what that horrible feeling of being constantly stressed is like For me its a horrid feeling in my tummy that sort of grips my innards, a permanent stomach ache. Tis poop innit It sounds like you have some good friends round which is nice to hear ..

Its possible that you are dealing with the effects of constantly being stressed - a lot of adrenaline in your system will stop you being hungry, and tend to make the body want to shut down 'unnecessary' processes - and when you are fighting a threat, digestion tends to be unnecessary.

The problem is its a vicious cycle - low blood sugar leads to more adrenaline. The fact you find it very hard to sleep suggests that this may be whats going on for you.

Maybe sit with the feelings as they come up and the next time you eat. You may notice some more things that hadnt been immediately obvious, thoughts and feelings and so on.

Maybe also try learning meditation, particularly mindfulness type meditations. It can be deeply calming after some initial learning. If you like to listen to things online, there is a free complete introduction to meditation here http://www.audiodharma.org/talks-intromed.html that I found very helpful. It takes a while for it to show effects, but they are very nice when it does Lowering your stress may help you feel less nauseous, and so hold down food. Then that will lead to lower adrenaline as a result of low blood sugar ... and maybe, you will sleep! Hope so...

Ross

[hummm_mabbe]

Also have you tried propranolol?

It is a drug that blocks the effects of adrenaline on your body. Maybe ask your doctor for it - tell them you suffer anxiety and panic and have heard this can be helpful.

Ross

[SusieQ]

Thanks Ross. I think you are right. Anxiety has always been the main problem for me, and causes all the other problems like obsessive behaviour, depression and crazy mood swings.

I'll do what you said about bringing to mind those feelings. Nearly lunchtime, so I can do it then.

I've tried meditation before and I try to excerise regularly and eat well (except on days like this when just eating anything will do). Thing is I think all of these things don't really help you to deal with the problems, just cope with them, and I often feel like I'm not really living, just maintaining.

Havin counscelling again now, so hopefully this will help.

I've been on propanolol before. Am seeing my doc on Friday so will ask if she thinks it would be useful for me to go back on it.

[moonrain]

Does anyone else get afraid to eat? I threw up a couple of nights ago and since then I have barely eaten as I am afraid I will just throw up again. I also threw up earlier this morning. I feel like I need to sort myself out now, have a proper breakfast, and try to eat normally for the rest of the day, but I am literally afraid. Eating a slice of toast feels like running a marathon.

Problem is when I don't eat I don't sleep properly either and it all gets worse. I feel like I have had to break this cycle so many times. Its hard because other people don't realise how hard it is just to do a simple normal thing that most people do without thinking.

I guess this is more stress/anxiety than an eating disorder, but I didn't know which catagory to put it in.

[Narcissa]

I have a fear of food after i've eaten. I obsess about what it's doing to me

[nibblet2010]

It's understandable why you're anxious. You're managing to eat cereal and toast so that's something. Even though it is hard, keep persevering and gradually eat more. If you suddenly feel like eating something, have it and even if you don't finish it, congratulate yourself for having some. Things will get better.