flippy Posted July 20, 2004 Report Share Posted July 20, 2004 today i saw my friend and we talked, i knew i was coming out of the bad stuff because yesterday was a horrid day with the shrink appt and then last night someone threw a brick at my window and broke it, kids i think but it shook my nan up pretty bad. anyway by last night i was relatively calm so i knew although i was still teetering i was looking up and not down. we talked about the past week how i was all the paranoia in my head the pushing her away and testing/protecting her, i explained why i did this and even though she doesnt get it she was cool, she hugged me loads and told me she loved me and it was nice to have me back. she asked me what she could do for me when i was in the bad stuff, i told her i just needed comforting so now we have a plan and the code for when i get the bad stuff. 1 is to talk, 2 is to text, 3 is for space and 911 is well pretty obvious, but also now she will reassure me and keep telling me she loves me and we will get through it and when the bad stuff is gone we will talk about it. she said i had to leave the decisions about her welfare to her and stick to the code, the other day i was seriously getting to the point of 911 and i text her 911 and a half and she was worried. each time the bad stuff happens it seems we come out stronger even though i always think she wont want to know me after, when i told her today i didnt think i'd see her again she was yeah right like that's gonna happen. i feel better because we talked, she doesnt love me any less or is angry at me all the things the bpd made me think. it's nice to feel like this again to be free from the doubts in my head and to know she loves me. i also got a letter from the poetry people, ive been published 3 times in the last couple of years, they want to publish me again. i was kind of cynical thinking they only wanted to publish me because i bought the first book, but i havent bought the last 2 so maybe they actually think i have a modicum of talent.... nah maybe not :rolleyes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LanieD116 Posted July 21, 2004 Report Share Posted July 21, 2004 wow - wow - wow !!!! what a compliment!!!!! congratulations girl! Lanie :wub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lucy Posted July 21, 2004 Report Share Posted July 21, 2004 so maybe they actually think i have a modicum of talent or a lot of talent its good that you can do this with your friend Take care hun Lucy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tory Posted July 21, 2004 Report Share Posted July 21, 2004 Well done on poetry thats great news i am sure u have lots of talent. The code thing with ur friend also seems really good and i think its a great idea! Hope things keep lookin up tory Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flippy Posted July 21, 2004 Author Report Share Posted July 21, 2004 thx guys, the code thing was actually em's idea and i know it will be good for us, i know how lucky i am to be supported in they way that i am. as for my poetry, i havent written since september last year seem to have dried up and looking back on some of my poems now i think they are crappy but hey im not a judge. the poem which will be published is the one i wrote for my friend on her birthday last year. being here at bpd world has helped me enormously its so cool to ask you guys if you understand stuff and it makes me feel better knowing you understand too. thx for all of you being here :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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