Extreme Anxiety

[Roses]

So about 3 weeks ago I got a letter from my care co-ordinator telling me she would no longer be my care co-ordinator and she had very thoughtfully wrote a note on the bottom that it was due to a re-structure and she hopes I am OK and that I continue to get better. She was lovely.

However, bout week later I rang CMHT to ask why and was I getting another one assigned. They said that they would bring it up in their weekly meetings. She checked on my notes and told me that my last psychiatrist meeting he had made a note stating I still needed a care co-ordinator!!! It's been 2 weeks and I've heard nothing. My husband left a message with them 2 days ago as I've not been so well. They haven't rang back but today I rang them.

I spoke to Duty Officer who said she was off shift in 5 mins but would pass on message. They had one of their weekly meetings this morning and my case wasn't discussed. She also had no recollection of any message from my husband being passed on! I very calmly said this was unacceptable and explained why. I also told her I hadn't even got a copy of my enhanced care plan and she apologised. I said I think it needs reviewing poss at next psyche meeting. The Duty Officer who took over rang me back within 5 mins of me putting phone down to tell me she was looking into it and then again half hour after that. She told me I need to go in for an evalutaion of my needs and that 2 care co-ordinators were no longer with them (got axed basically) and they now had a waiting list for them. I said it would have been nice to know where I stood and they should inform me if I'm on a waiting list and not leave me with nothing.

So I HAVE to go in for an hour long assessment with someone I don't know (could be a man or a woman) to talk about my darkest feelings having just travelled on a bus for an hour with another hour long journey home after. On my own.

Now I just feel anxious to the point of wanting to SH. I am on day one of another step of detox from quetiapine and really didn't need this shit.

[sanctuary]

Oh Roses I can't offer anything but a hug (((((((((Roses))))))))) we're here for you babe. Stay strong, use elastic bands anything, don't let their clear incomptenece and lack of appreciation for lives beyond their weekly meetings affect you darling. Big big hugs your way xxxx

[snowman]

So sorry they have done this to you but well done for the way you have dealt with it.

Try not to take their incompetence out on yourself though......keep fighting - I know its hard.....

(((roses)))

[Pink stars]

(((((Roses))))) I'm so sorry for their incompetance hun and for how it's left you feeling.

We're all here for you hun

Lots of love and hugs, thinking of you xxxxxxxxxx

[Roses]

Thank you so much everyone. I distracted and made a fish pie then went and got the kids and now am just off to play Hannah Montana trumps with Alora.... so far so good. Thank you so much. I'm so glad I asked you all for help xxxxx

[Dani]

glad to hear you distracted yourself hun.

hope your okay xxx

[donnam]

hugs hun

[Roses]

Thanks guys, Mike came home and we went shopping so I'm glad I carried on. I told him what they have said and he is angry at them and said next time he will leave work early and physically go there, and also to my GP surgery as the receptionist gave me a grilling today and denied he ever rang 2 days ago as well. He said "I feel invisible" poor thing, he tries so hard in so many ways.

[Barebones]

(((((huggles hun)))) xxx

have no words of wisdom or i guess anything just now.

Keep safe babes xx

[lauraw2693]

That's unacceptable of them, I really understand your frustration I was in your position a while back and without a cpn for a whole year! I do hope it gets sorted out soon and you get the support you deserve, sending hugs xxx

[fedup!]

Roses you're doing ace in the circumstances. Sorry you've had a rough time xxxxxxxxxxx

[Roses]

Thank you and hugs back xxx

[willamtarker]

After a time period in which an anxiety sufferer is experiencing thoughts similar to the description above, they will often start to notice some physical signs. The fatigue, the loss of appetite, and the shortage of motivation are all painful, but they are not unbearable - if I could give this some time.

[Kittyclaws]

After a time period in which an anxiety sufferer is experiencing thoughts similar to the description above, they will often start to notice some physical signs. The fatigue, the loss of appetite, and the shortage of motivation are all painful, but they are not unbearable - if I could give this some time.

What does this mean?

Roses I hope they sort it out soon I just changed CC at CMHT and it is all stressy.HugsKitty.

[Roses]

Thanks Willam and Kitty xxxx

Kitty, I think Willam was trying to say that if you ride out anxiety sometimes you can naturally come out the other side. It is harsh, but I guess logical as my therapist has been telling me about trying to stay "in the moment" for 15 mins or so and see if I can get through it instead of knee-jerk reaction of mine which is to run or cancel or just basically avoid. We have pretty much agreed now I am not BPD but he is waiting for the Millon Test paperwork to come through the post as he suspects I may well have AvPD (avoidant personality disorder). I would say he was right, there are 4 sub categories and I think I come under the "paranoid" one.

For me though, time isn't a great healer Willam. If you read some of my history you will understand that for me, the physical symptoms of depression are the least of my concerns. For me I just need to learn how to cope without cutting or overdosing. I am much better than I was but it is a long journey. If only I was not eating and a bit down it would be so much easier to cope with.

I am also on day 2 of latest decrease in quetipaine too so am all over the place. Oh the joys, but as I said to my husband one of the advantages of being stubborn I guess, is being able to get through the DT's :lol:

[Kittyclaws]

(((Roses)) I think you are right hun xxxxxxxx

[thesloaneranger]

*hugs* roses, im sorry i dont have anything more worthwhile to offer. i hope this assessment goes alright for you and these people get their arses in gear and brains outta neutral soon xxx

[Roses]

thanks Sloane xxx

[Roses]

Hi guys, just an update. I went for the Duty Officer assessment last Tuesday and it went well. He really listened and agreed with all my complaints, said they were valid and I was assertive and not agressive about it which was good. I said I thought a CPN would be more useful for me and that I needed support. I understand there may be a waiting list now due to staff cut backs. Left feeling reassured and understood. He said they would have meeting again on Thurs or Fri and if I didn't hear by end of Fri to call in and push it to see what had been decided. Thurs I had my 3 monthly psychiatric review which also went well.

Today is Mon and I didn't hear back from MH team about care co-ordinator. I just called them and the receptionist wanted me to tell them the whole story! I said no, put me through to Duty Officer. Duty Officer said the meeting had been cancelled last week and she is sorry they didn't call me but she will pull out my notes and definately bring it up this Thurs (another week goes by). I told her that my psyche notes say I need care co-ordinator so why do they even have to discuss it? Anyway, if not heard by Fri I am going to PALS, enough is enough.

I feel so worthless and let down. Alone, and to make it all worse we have had a lot of family problems this week and I've had to be a brave trooper. I don't want to be brave anymore, I want to run away from myself again. I can't always be the strong one.

[thesloaneranger]

it just sounds like one thing after another hun..... roll on thursday.

its not easy being the strong one all the time, so take some time out and be good to yourself hun xxx

[Roses]

thanks Sloane xxxxx

[Villan]

((((((((((((((((roses))))))))))))))))) xxxx