Therapists Healing Themselves

[sundries]

I think it is reasonable to help yourself through helping others.

I don't like it when someone becomes a therapist to feel important. And being the recipient of peoples secrets is a very powerful position and also one that provides a 'safe' way for a therapist to get intimacy in their lives without running any real emotional risks because they know their client is needy and dependent on them.

I wonder how many of the therapists who have had serious problems themselves go into that profession not so much to pass on the wisdom they have got from overcoming their own issues, but to present an image of themselves as mature and to 'reverse the roles' so on hte surface it is not them in the dependent position.

[notawallflower]

I would say, in my personal experience, a lot.

With my current t, as soon as I met her I pointed out that had she had my experiences and I hers, we would have likely been in each other's chairs. She concurred, which was lucky, because had she heckled me I would have fled and not returned.

I have no time or tolerance for power plays. I don't lean on crooked fences (I left a t who told me she had ptsd symptoms) and I don't hold with t's who think that it's appropriate to tell me their life stories (another dumped t). I don't hold with t's who have to sit there and grapple their own demons before they can face mine (yet another) and I don't hold with t's who sit there gazing at their engagement ring while I am speaking (yep, you guessed it).I don't hold with t's who hand me my entire psych file and get me to read it while I'm out of the room (I asked her whether she thought what she'd done was appropriate and then left).

I don't hold with pyschs who try to shame me for having a pd, psychs who speak about bpd in a condescending derogative tone, in fact I don't hold with any professional who delivers less than the most respectful, considerate and genuine response.

[notawallflower]

Although I like and respect my current t, I am annoyed when she arrives sick and ask her why she is there. I'd rather wait and have her full attention. I do believe that she's been a little too caught up in her client's feelings (including mine) at times. I think she realised too and modified her response, so hey, no one's perfect, right Ross? :lol:

[thesloaneranger]

i would always rather have a T who knows what its like to feel crap, and that they havent just learned it from a book. i found the one i saw through the nhs was very much like this, and i felt she enjoyed being in a position of power and this made me feel weaker and more stupid than i already was.

i dont know my current Ts life history, but i know she has been through enough stuff in the past which allows her to understand her clients feelings. i like it when she can give an example of something similar thats happened to her as i know she understands or is trying to understand for real, and doesnt just nod. i certainly never get any impression of falseness from her - shes down to earth and cool. oh......and she makes good coffee! lol!

ive only had experience of 2 Ts....and i know which one id rather work with.

[Lily-Bee]

I think like with any other profession,there are good ones and bad ones,people who are in it for the right reasons and people who are in it for the wrong reasons.

Lilly

[pepsimeg]

I hate it wen some T have said " I havebeenthru this or that, or i have had a difficult upbringing" i find it intimidating.........its not that im not concerned for them but feels like they are invalidating what i have toldthem personally i prefer that they tell me nothing personal about themselves......i will ask when im ready !

[notawallflower]

Good call, Emogirl.

I agree, Lilly.

:wub:

[Narcissa]

I think that it's a profession that damaged people tend to go for. Because they want to help others and they want to help themselves. I also want to go into this profession.