Watching "normals" Pass By.....

[jonathan1981]

I went into my local town centre today and took some time to just sit down and watch as people passed me by. Normal, happy people going about their happy lives, laughing, smiling, walking by with their friends/family/partners, and I felt such an overwhelming feeling of desire to be just like them. Happy like them. What if life had been different for me? What if I'd never encountered this awful thing we call mental illness? What if I was "normal" like them?

I know there's no such thing as normal per se, but I feel like such an utter freak around other people, so unlike anyone else that I can never change, never be "one of them".

Does anyone else ever feel like this? So alienated and alone? So unlike other people that you feel like a freak devoid of any hope of ever being normal? :(

[BPDlkeme]

Join the club troubled soul, welcome to the misfits club!

[boobsticle]

Hey Lost, I can't offer you any advice, only solidarity, I know exactly how you feel.

[Data]

I often feel alone and isolated. Its less isolating to hear that others feel the same .

[carlylight1]

i can really understand that and i'm sorry you're going through it. i used to get panic attacks being in busy streets because its scary feeling so cut off and 'different' to everyone else. take care and things really can get easier x

[Warrior Princess]

I went into my local town centre today and took some time to just sit down and watch as people passed me by. Normal, happy people going about their happy lives, laughing, smiling, walking by with their friends/family/partners, and I felt such an overwhelming feeling of desire to be just like them. Happy like them. What if life had been different for me? What if I'd never encountered this awful thing we call mental illness? What if I was "normal" like them?

I know there's no such thing as normal per se, but I feel like such an utter freak around other people, so unlike anyone else that I can never change, never be "one of them".

Does anyone else ever feel like this? So alienated and alone? So unlike other people that you feel like a freak devoid of any hope of ever being normal?

Oh my God, I feel like this so often I can't even count. I woke up feeling like this after a night of massive insomnia and very little rest. I say "I just want to be normal" so often I have a trade mark on the statement!

The reality is though, that a lot of these people we see as normal, have issues under the surface. They appear so happy and so together, but I guarentee you they have their own problems, their own struggles, their own mental crap! just because they don't have a dx does not mean they are better than us. In all honestly, I tend to think of myself as more enlightened than them.

Before I was in the mental health system myself, I would remember seeing bums on the streets in San Diego California, pushing their shopping carts with their whole lives in it and talking away to themselves in some kind of other world. I'd always cross the road and walk on the other side of the street. I had no clue! I was afraid of them.

After my experiences with mental health myself, I now just want to go up and talk to them. Let them know that they arn't aliens from another planet... but loved. I'd now rather stand up for the rights of mentally ill people than crack cruel jokes about them. I have seen a whole nother side to life. A life that "Normals" will never know or never see!

My p Doc says "you come out of mental illness a much wiser person" I've also read this book titled "Forever ruined for the ordinary" it's not about mental illness but the same could be said of me because of my vast experiences.

You're not odd or alone or isolated. You're here with us. mentally ill people are beautiful people. Ever watched that movie "a beautiful mind?" We are the artists, the poets, the feelers, the thinkers. We see things that other people can't or won't. We have a deeper insight into each other and ourselves. We are FAR more enlightened, aware, sensitive, empathetic, and how else can I say it... **** SPECIAL ***

Enjoy being special my friend.

WP

[Warrior Princess]

This post made me cry, but more in a good way I think.

I love you all for who and what you are. My special family.

WP

[carlylight1]

thanks wp ((((((hugs)))))) to everyone xxx

[Warrior Princess]

"normals" can be quite entertaining to watch sometimes.

I remember once when a friend of mine attempted sui and was in the hosp I went to visit her. She was still in a very bad place and I said to her "normals don't understand" and she laughed that I called them "normals". It was the first bright spark I saw in her eye. She recovered and is now doing well.

Fond memories. Sometimes the simpliest of things can bring light to you.

WP

[AmyP]

Can completely relate. Whenever I go ou I watch people and feel so sad that I can't be like them. When I watch a film I'm so deflated after thinking why can't I be normal.

[walker]

i know what u mean

so sad that u are hurting

[boobsticle]

I went into my local town centre today and took some time to just sit down and watch as people passed me by. Normal, happy people going about their happy lives, laughing, smiling, walking by with their friends/family/partners, and I felt such an overwhelming feeling of desire to be just like them. Happy like them. What if life had been different for me? What if I'd never encountered this awful thing we call mental illness? What if I was "normal" like them?

I know there's no such thing as normal per se, but I feel like such an utter freak around other people, so unlike anyone else that I can never change, never be "one of them".

Does anyone else ever feel like this? So alienated and alone? So unlike other people that you feel like a freak devoid of any hope of ever being normal?

Oh my God, I feel like this so often I can't even count. I woke up feeling like this after a night of massive insomnia and very little rest. I say "I just want to be normal" so often I have a trade mark on the statement!

The reality is though, that a lot of these people we see as normal, have issues under the surface. They appear so happy and so together, but I guarentee you they have their own problems, their own struggles, their own mental crap! just because they don't have a dx does not mean they are better than us. In all honestly, I tend to think of myself as more enlightened than them.

Before I was in the mental health system myself, I would remember seeing bums on the streets in San Diego California, pushing their shopping carts with their whole lives in it and talking away to themselves in some kind of other world. I'd always cross the road and walk on the other side of the street. I had no clue! I was afraid of them.

After my experiences with mental health myself, I now just want to go up and talk to them. Let them know that they arn't aliens from another planet... but loved. I'd now rather stand up for the rights of mentally ill people than crack cruel jokes about them. I have seen a whole nother side to life. A life that "Normals" will never know or never see!

My p Doc says "you come out of mental illness a much wiser person" I've also read this book titled "Forever ruined for the ordinary" it's not about mental illness but the same could be said of me because of my vast experiences.

You're not odd or alone or isolated. You're here with us. mentally ill people are beautiful people. Ever watched that movie "a beautiful mind?" We are the artists, the poets, the feelers, the thinkers. We see things that other people can't or won't. We have a deeper insight into each other and ourselves. We are FAR more enlightened, aware, sensitive, empathetic, and how else can I say it... **** SPECIAL ***

Enjoy being special my friend.

WP

this was a fantastic post, thank you WP. :)

[hummm_mabbe]

Hi Lost

With regards the original post, yes I can relate to that definitely. I would say the nature of it has changed with time, perhaps as a result of therapy as well as other things. It used to be very much that sense of disconnection, of them being separate and different from me - like they were part of some world that had left me behind.

Sometimes I still do feel that, if I am feeling low - but lately I have more of a sense of not being that different, that maybe some people might care what I feel, and that I do have things that might allow me to be 'part of' things again. I have a strong sense of mistrust and always feel like people are about to become harsh, critical and rejecting, and this is something I have to work with. I have learned I can trust my therapist, and a particular friend, and so I am hopeful I can do that with others as well, but of course when you first think about it, the emotions that are already "installed" in there (to use a computing term) are the ones that come up - anxiety, apprehension. It makes sense I guess - its only because I have learned I can trust those two people that I now feel comfy with them, and any new person I will need to repeat the process with.

So whilst I can very much identify with what you are feeling and saying, I guess I wanted you to know that there is the possibility it can change.

Ross

[hummm_mabbe]

I went into my local town centre today and took some time to just sit down and watch as people passed me by. Normal, happy people going about their happy lives, laughing, smiling, walking by with their friends/family/partners, and I felt such an overwhelming feeling of desire to be just like them. Happy like them. What if life had been different for me? What if I'd never encountered this awful thing we call mental illness? What if I was "normal" like them?

I know there's no such thing as normal per se, but I feel like such an utter freak around other people, so unlike anyone else that I can never change, never be "one of them".

Does anyone else ever feel like this? So alienated and alone? So unlike other people that you feel like a freak devoid of any hope of ever being normal?

Oh my God, I feel like this so often I can't even count. I woke up feeling like this after a night of massive insomnia and very little rest. I say "I just want to be normal" so often I have a trade mark on the statement!

The reality is though, that a lot of these people we see as normal, have issues under the surface. They appear so happy and so together, but I guarentee you they have their own problems, their own struggles, their own mental crap! just because they don't have a dx does not mean they are better than us. In all honestly, I tend to think of myself as more enlightened than them.

Before I was in the mental health system myself, I would remember seeing bums on the streets in San Diego California, pushing their shopping carts with their whole lives in it and talking away to themselves in some kind of other world. I'd always cross the road and walk on the other side of the street. I had no clue! I was afraid of them.

After my experiences with mental health myself, I now just want to go up and talk to them. Let them know that they arn't aliens from another planet... but loved. I'd now rather stand up for the rights of mentally ill people than crack cruel jokes about them. I have seen a whole nother side to life. A life that "Normals" will never know or never see!

My p Doc says "you come out of mental illness a much wiser person" I've also read this book titled "Forever ruined for the ordinary" it's not about mental illness but the same could be said of me because of my vast experiences.

You're not odd or alone or isolated. You're here with us. mentally ill people are beautiful people. Ever watched that movie "a beautiful mind?" We are the artists, the poets, the feelers, the thinkers. We see things that other people can't or won't. We have a deeper insight into each other and ourselves. We are FAR more enlightened, aware, sensitive, empathetic, and how else can I say it... **** SPECIAL ***

Enjoy being special my friend.

WP

this was a fantastic post, thank you WP.

I agree, it made me feel all snuggly :lol:

[boobsticle]

Yeah, it's like a hug in a post :lol:

[AmyP]

WP your post has inspired me :)

[SaraN]

I feel like that very often. But are other people really "normal"? Does "normality" really exist?

[jonathan1981]

Thank you for your inspiration message Warrior Princess.

I agree wholeheartedly that we're all beautiful, unique, special people in our own right. :)

[Tomas]

I went into my local town centre today and took some time to just sit down and watch as people passed me by. Normal, happy people going about their happy lives, laughing, smiling, walking by with their friends/family/partners, and I felt such an overwhelming feeling of desire to be just like them. Happy like them. What if life had been different for me? What if I'd never encountered this awful thing we call mental illness? What if I was "normal" like them?

I know there's no such thing as normal per se, but I feel like such an utter freak around other people, so unlike anyone else that I can never change, never be "one of them".

Does anyone else ever feel like this? So alienated and alone? So unlike other people that you feel like a freak devoid of any hope of ever being normal?

I feel the same, and my ultimate desire is to be just as self absorbed and apathetic as regular people. I can handle the lonliness just aslong as i have the same lack of awareness that they do.

Whether you're watching the people go by in the street, or browsing facebook to see how the people you used to know are enjoying their lives, you're doing nothing other than hurting yourself, whereas what you should and need to be doing is making yourself feel happy and secure any way you can, regardless of how it effects others.

That's what it takes to be a modern human.

[Christine001]

I love the term "normals" a bit like muggles in Harry Potter, here I feel i belong and so that feels better and I identify wholeheartedly with the other posts and thought these feeling were unique to me so it helps to know other peopla have them, in fact they are normal. anyway for now they are my normal.

[regard22]

I feel the same, and my ultimate desire is to be just as self absorbed and apathetic as regular people. I can handle the lonliness just aslong as i have the same lack of awareness that they do.

Whether you're watching the people go by in the street, or browsing facebook to see how the people you used to know are enjoying their lives, you're doing nothing other than hurting yourself, whereas what you should and need to be doing is making yourself feel happy and secure any way you can, regardless of how it effects others.

That's what it takes to be a modern human.

I feel like I am surrounded by "Normals" at work. Tomas' post has started me on another route to try and cope.