lilybilly Posted September 7, 2010 Report Share Posted September 7, 2010 I hate dbt so much. As the weeks of the program go by I get more and more upset by the fact this this awful therapy is the only thing that has been shown to be effective with bpd. I am stuck in this program for a year. I don't think I can keep going. I have read Marsha Linehan's Manual that they use for the treatment. I feel like a lab rat being shaped, the rewards and punishments for all behaviours feel like I am being manipulated, the contingencies are the same. There is no room for the fact that I am an individual because anything I do must be treated in accordance to dbt. If I don't self soothe mindfully then it is not a self soothe. I am so sick of this program and the people running it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sophhee23 Posted September 7, 2010 Report Share Posted September 7, 2010 I couldnt agree with you more hun, it makes no sence to me at all its like aload of hippy mumbo jumbo....none of it works for me and ive told them its not going to work because i dont have that kind of mind....when im miserable (always) looking at a flower, or having clean sheets on my bed is not going to change that in anyway! God! does my bloody head in.....Ive got T this morning at 12 but its group so not so bad, as i like the ppl in the program with me, but friday i have 121 @9am and by wed night i will be worrying about it, and i will slowly start to feel sicker and sicker at the thought of going, then i will force myself to go, and come out literally wanting to pay someone to kill me!!! Im also distraught that this is the only therapy for bpd and is supposed to be the best one!! Oh dear....i in the group with someone who is 45 and is now doing his 3rd course of DBT thats how good it is........3 times!!! What im gonna do i dont know, i expect i will stick at it cos im very stubborn and i dont want ppl saying to me in future "well you had a chance in dbt but u quit" so ill try stick it out just to prove that i was right and that it doesnt work! Dont get me wrong i go in there with an open mind and sometimes things make a tad of sence, im always taking notes, doing homework, and i write down what i do and how im feeling everyday cos i can never remember...so im trying my absolute hardest! The therapist reckon im trying TOO hard!?!? ok then! xxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilybilly Posted September 7, 2010 Author Report Share Posted September 7, 2010 I far prefer individual therapy to group. In individual at least the therapist listens to and validates me. I hate group because they are so mean. And yeah what are clean sheets supposed to do... and make sure you get into them mindfully!!!!! I don't have any other choice because no private therapist would take me with the bpd label. Now i have to be under the stupid community mental health. I HATE THEM!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sophhee23 Posted September 7, 2010 Report Share Posted September 7, 2010 Not finding my group to bad atm but thats prob cos im the meanest lol ....i cant stand 121 i feel so pressured to remember these thoughts and feelings and "body sensations" when i cant that ive now taken to writing everything down, so everytime anything happens, ill put "just farted"...body sensations blah blah! Does my fekin head in, but what else can i do?? I have no other choice! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
icu_baby Posted September 7, 2010 Report Share Posted September 7, 2010 I hate dbt so much. As the weeks of the program go by I get more and more upset by the fact this this awful therapy is the only thing that has been shown to be effective with bpd. I am stuck in this program for a year. I don't think I can keep going. I have read Marsha Linehan's Manual that they use for the treatment. I feel like a lab rat being shaped, the rewards and punishments for all behaviours feel like I am being manipulated, the contingencies are the same. There is no room for the fact that I am an individual because anything I do must be treated in accordance to dbt. If I don't self soothe mindfully then it is not a self soothe. I am so sick of this program and the people running it. Hi I have done one class already and I nearly fell asleep by how boring it is. I don't' like this reward or punishment system that is going on such as you can't call for 24 hours if you have self-harmed. I don't self harm but I find that rule a punishment and quite harsh for people who do. I don't think it is the right therapy for me either because I suffer from bipolar disorder but they consider me a high service user and high risk of suicide so I am in it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
icu_baby Posted September 7, 2010 Report Share Posted September 7, 2010 I far prefer individual therapy to group. In individual at least the therapist listens to and validates me. I hate group because they are so mean. And yeah what are clean sheets supposed to do... and make sure you get into them mindfully!!!!! I don't have any other choice because no private therapist would take me with the bpd label. Now i have to be under the stupid community mental health. I HATE THEM!! I find that group work is very "objectivefying". It treats you like you are an object to be examined rather than a person. They are very general in their advice too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilybilly Posted September 7, 2010 Author Report Share Posted September 7, 2010 Yeah, the object you are is "BPD" everything you do is because of the "BPD" your actions can't possibly be because of anything else and can't possibly be treated with anything but dbt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lewchocolate Posted September 7, 2010 Report Share Posted September 7, 2010 I so agree with you DBT is nonsense, I have had six or seven sessions and all it was about was what I am doing to cope. At no point did we talk about why I was doing things which to me is the thing that I need to sort out. So I left and I don't ever want anything to do with DBT again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilybilly Posted September 7, 2010 Author Report Share Posted September 7, 2010 What upsets me the most is the fact that research has shown it to be the most effective. How can it be effective when it feels so so awful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanctuary Posted September 7, 2010 Report Share Posted September 7, 2010 Hi Lilybilly, Sorry your hating DBT.. By the sounds of it between you and Sophee you are both really feeling it (Sophee I nearly pissed myself laughing literally at some of your comments xx) I have my 2nd assessment appt tomorrow morning for DBT. In truth alot of the concerns I have have been bloody validated by this post!! It's a bit like how I imagined I might struggle with it....but I'm in the position of needing something to sort me out, ya know.. Anyway, thanks for sharing this, i think it might help me make a decision, I feel like last chance saloon and I don't want to enter something that is going to make me 'want to pay someone to shoot me after a session'... made me laugh because that's exactly what I fear the most from all this. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roxy222 Posted September 7, 2010 Report Share Posted September 7, 2010 I hate dbt so much. As the weeks of the program go by I get more and more upset by the fact this this awful therapy is the only thing that has been shown to be effective with bpd. I am stuck in this program for a year. I don't think I can keep going. I have read Marsha Linehan's Manual that they use for the treatment. I feel like a lab rat being shaped, the rewards and punishments for all behaviours feel like I am being manipulated, the contingencies are the same. There is no room for the fact that I am an individual because anything I do must be treated in accordance to dbt. If I don't self soothe mindfully then it is not a self soothe. I am so sick of this program and the people running it. its not the only thing thats been shown to be effective for bpd, schema has a better sucess rate, and mentalisation therapy has an even better one, albeit on a smaller scale of research all people are individuals and need therapy thats taylored to suit them, unfortanlty this is not allways possible. iv came across people who have found dbt a life saver, and others who have found it manipulative and inadaquate. sorry its not helpful for youx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jinxsta Posted September 7, 2010 Report Share Posted September 7, 2010 I hate dbt so much. As the weeks of the program go by I get more and more upset by the fact this this awful therapy is the only thing that has been shown to be effective with bpd. I am stuck in this program for a year. I don't think I can keep going. I have read Marsha Linehan's Manual that they use for the treatment. I feel like a lab rat being shaped, the rewards and punishments for all behaviours feel like I am being manipulated, the contingencies are the same. There is no room for the fact that I am an individual because anything I do must be treated in accordance to dbt. If I don't self soothe mindfully then it is not a self soothe. I am so sick of this program and the people running it. Hi, I am yet to come accross anyone that doesnt think its a load of shit when they start. Sometimes the skills come across as invalidating themselves because there you are in extreme emotional distress and the answer is apparently to be mindful with a flower and you're thinking "im upset because X has happening, how the fuck is looking at a flower going to help!!!" almost feels like they are saying it cant be that bad, just look at a flower and it will go away.. but this is not what they are trying to do, it wont make it go away just may help you cope with the emotion a bit better. I had many a argument with my therapist over the punishment stuff, and quite a few stand-offs in group for being asked to make a "repairmation" for being late or not coming the previous week... "No I WOULD NOT be willing to apologize and bring biscuits for everyone just because my bus was fucking late" I asked why they were so strong on this and my T said because in RL if you were late for work for example you would have to make up the time, or you would lose money and you have to apologize and explain why your late...so they trying to work with you as a real life experience. They started this thing coiuple of months before I left that if u were more than 5minutes late, you may not be allowed to stay... if you had the balls to risk being rejected, they would hold you at the door and then ask the group "what do you guys think should we let X stay?".. everyone squirming and cringing for the person stuck at the door, vigoursly nodding there heads, eyes fixed on the floor.. I thought that was pretty unecessary. What I found in the end is you gotta translate it into your own words, and figure out how you can tweak the skills so that they are helpful to you, say like mindfully in the moment instead of looking at a flower or making a cup of tea do it with something that you enjoy doing anyway, like for me I take a shower.. when im extremely angry i mindfully take a shower, not all the crap like mindfully get in the shower, mindfully press the button.. but just the shower bit, I clear my mind and just concentrate on the water pounding on me and the steam opening my airways, the fresh smell of the shower gel.. it doesnt take the emotion away its still there after most of the time, but ive given myself a break from it for ten minutes or so. I also found at the start I found the skills contradictory eg; feel your emotions and then distract from your emotions.. but because of my black and white thinking i was thinking of each as and extreme.. but its about middle-way all the time so yes feel your emotion but dont become so engrossed in it that it debillitates you.. if its getting that way mindfully distract; dont block what your feeling, know it there but just take your mind off it for a bit. As for the 24hour rule, i think that is there because of the manipulative traits some show, some may use there self harm to manipulate the therapist or to send a message of "you didnt answer my call last night so i did this" or "you told me to use X skill, it didnt work so i self harmed". Theres a topic i did in treatments i think called my dbt journey or something like that (its pinned) , if you havent already it might be worth a read, it very long but you may find you identify with it and u will see how i managed to put up with 2years of it and come out with improvements. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sophhee23 Posted September 7, 2010 Report Share Posted September 7, 2010 Happy to of made you laugh sanct least im good for somethin - eh! xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sophhee23 Posted September 7, 2010 Report Share Posted September 7, 2010 Ive read your topic jinx its bloody good and helpful you should give it a bash lillybilly, if you havnt already hun xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted September 7, 2010 Report Share Posted September 7, 2010 Just wanted to say brill post jinx :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jinxsta Posted September 7, 2010 Report Share Posted September 7, 2010 Thank yous xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilybilly Posted September 7, 2010 Author Report Share Posted September 7, 2010 I do understand the theory, I understand what the want from me I just don't like how they do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jinxsta Posted September 7, 2010 Report Share Posted September 7, 2010 I do understand the theory, I understand what the want from me I just don't like how they do it. understanding it is the easy part, putting it into practise is damn hard... if you dont like the way they do it, discuss it with your 1-2-1 T, they maybe able to explain the reasons for why they do things in certain ways. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted September 7, 2010 Report Share Posted September 7, 2010 i havent done dbt, they dont seem to do it here, but i did 20 wks stepps, which is like a mini dbt, more low key prob i hated it to begin with, and didnt often do the h/wk but some of it helped, and little bits of it keep sneaking into how i view thinks and why i am reacting as i do etc at 45 i found it pretty patronizing , tho, as much of it was screamingly obvious, and the fact that i didnt do those 'healthy' things just made me feel even more of a shit, and made me feel like they were treating me like my mum did/does tbh i think MOST people, mentally ill OR NOT, would find these therapies very challenging anything that strikes at your core and tries to move it to a new place/view - is intensely disturbing - be it therapy, or anything not sure any of that helps, since i cant speak about dbt, sorry but try and stick with it even if you can work out what and why you hate it, - that will give you insight into who you are and why you struggle ed. ?????? why did i write this why do i bother writing anything Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted September 7, 2010 Report Share Posted September 7, 2010 My initial reaction to a lot of this is that it sounds to me like people (who don't have your problems) preaching to you. They have probably never experienced what it is like to have a personality disorder. And a lot of it is just bullshit, because it doesn't address the real problems, deep down. I am sorry if this comes across as negative to people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
icu_baby Posted September 7, 2010 Report Share Posted September 7, 2010 I so agree with you DBT is nonsense, I have had six or seven sessions and all it was about was what I am doing to cope. At no point did we talk about why I was doing things which to me is the thing that I need to sort out. So I left and I don't ever want anything to do with DBT again. I want the courage to leave but they are like you fought so hard to get into there in the first place and its a hard course to get into etc...they are making me feel guilty for wanting to leave the stupid course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
icu_baby Posted September 7, 2010 Report Share Posted September 7, 2010 Yeah, the object you are is "BPD" everything you do is because of the "BPD" your actions can't possibly be because of anything else and can't possibly be treated with anything but dbt. That is exactly right! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
icu_baby Posted September 7, 2010 Report Share Posted September 7, 2010 I still don't buy the punishment stuff, people with bpd are not manipulative. I also think that it is an insult to turn someone away for being late. If anything this therapy is making me rebel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pepsimeg Posted September 7, 2010 Report Share Posted September 7, 2010 Im not on dbt course cos my authority cant afford it but i have done a skills course and at 1st i thouhgt they were talking to me like i didnt know how to problem solve.....like i was a kid but after weeks of it i realised it was sinking in because i got an anger moment and wanted to storm out the house and drive ooff in a fast speed but i actually stopped and thought (like i had been told) 'does this get me what i want", so i took a deep breath and let the emotion ride over me - no - acting like that wud only cause more emotion, probably hurt myself or someone so then i went back in the house and was calmer....so i guess its working slowly, i havent been taught the mindfullness tho but i guess it does seem like they are invalidating your feelings, but like someone mentioned i think its just a way to try to distract your emotions and calm u.....easier said than done i know ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted September 7, 2010 Report Share Posted September 7, 2010 Hi there For the guys that are feeling very strongly about their therapy / therapists, have you voiced these feelings about it? IMO feelings about therapy or the person doing it are actually PART of therapy, and should be handled by the therapist with tact and empathy. But in order for them to be dealt with, they need to be voiced. I know I found it almost impossible to say what I really felt with my T at first, and with things like feeling angry I still find it extremely difficult. But every time I have said what I am feeling, it has lead to a better outcome than just ignoring it. Ross Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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