She Called My Gp.........

[BimoUK]

So my mother phoned me last night and told me that she'd called my GP because she was worried that I'd been saying I want to die and so on.

I'm furious! I know that she's my mother and she loves me and she's worried about me but how dare she go behind my back. It makes me want to not tell her things any more. On the plus side it seems that her call means I'll be getting me appointments with the councillor through sooner but even so, she had no right to do that. There's few enough people for me to trust as it is and now one less!!!

[Roses]

had she tried talking to you and asking you to go to doctor yourself?

[Jinxsta]

I know its hard, but like you have observed she did it because she cared, and sometimes the power of loving someone takes over and we kinda have to break that confidentiality so to speak to do what is best for that person... imagine if you called her and said im at such and such place about to jump off.. and she did nothing just said "ok well i hope u dont do it" and left it at that... if your anything like me you would probably think A, she doesn't believe your for real or B she doesnt care.. but if she does do something about it, its breaking your trust... so you see shes in a lose lose situation, but you got the better side, she believes what you say and doesnt want you to do it.

xxx

[BimoUK]

Roses, no, she didn't say anything to me until after the fact. I'm already on the waiting list for appointments with the councillor and in the meantime I've got a few telephone sessions to see me through so it's not like I'm doing nothing about it, she knows I'm trying my hardest to get better.

Jinx, you're right of course, and I know that, I just would have preferred it if she'd spoken to me about it rather than going over my head.

XX

[Roses]

I would tend to agree with Jinx babe. I'm sure she knows you are trying your hardest but like Jinx says it would have showed she cared far less if she had left you to go carry out your plans. However, I know what an interfering Mother can be like. Is this the first time she has behaved like this in your life? I'm wondering if perhaps you are more sensitive to it cos she has taken control in other areas before and upset you. I mean in this instance I actually believe you do need more help and you need it like yesterday, but I'm wondering if your reaction to her this time is marred by past experience? x

[BimoUK]

Not really Roses, I mean, she's always been a bit in my face but then I'm the youngest of four so I'm kind of her "baby". I can understand that and my current condition probably makes her feel like she's got to do something to help, I'm just annoyed at the way she's gone about it. She doesn't really help matters much anyway, always telling me I need to get a new job or move home so I can afford to live properly, always reminding me of the crap I have to deal with on a day to day basis when sometimes I just want to put it to the back of my mind and get on with the current day. I've told her that so many times but she always does it!!

XX

[Roses]

Well I'm glad she has not been too much in your face and that your reaction is just the initial shock and betrayal we would all feel (been there myself). But after a few days I find it wears off and I can see why someone has acted in that way and that they had my best interests at heart x

[BimoUK]

Yeah, I know she does, I just didn't need to be adding her to my list of people I can't trust.

X

[Roses]

why does this mean you can't trust her? Surely it means that you know when the chips are really down and you can't care or yourself she is willing to make that call and risk everything just to make sure you are alright!!

[BimoUK]

She went behind my back. How do I know she's not running round telling family and friends these things too?

[Dani]

ive spoke to my brothers gp cos i was concerned

over a few things.it took a lot to do it and im sure your mum

gave it a lot of thought.i know you feel she has been disloyal but

im sure she is just worried about losing you.

[BimoUK]

Ugh, of course, you're all right and now I feel terrible for being so angry with her. I'm just being selfish. X

[Dani]

your understandably upset...not selfish at all.

[Roses]

not selfish at all. As I said it usually passes. If you are worried she would talk to other people just sit her down and tell her how you are feeling, but try and be sensitive. She obviously is very very worried about you. xxx

[BimoUK]

I don't want her to be worried about me. I don't want to be a burden to her.

How could I possibly sit down and calmly explain to her that I want to end my own life, she'll think she's failed me. I couldn't look at her and see her thinking that.

XX

[Jinxsta]

Ok, i'll show u two sides of the story;

I got a friend who also works in my local shop, one night I got into a fight, got bottled and was covered head to toe in claret, i went in the shop and she said "what happened to you?" and i said "oh i just had a fight and one of them cracked a bottle over my head" "oh" she said, no much of a reaction... I went on my way then 5 mins later had calls from my mum and cousin "WTF's happened?? what have you done??".. I was really angry with my friend I thought "well you didnt show you were that bothered, u didnt ask me if i wanted u to call someone, u just decided to go right behind my back and tell my family!" ... but once i had calmed down i saw it more logically; she was concerned and didnt know how to react to it, she knows i have MH issues, as far as she knew i could have walked up the road, collapsed and died. And i did question her about it sometime after.. just said "oh you rang X when i got bottled that time" and she comfirmed my logical thinking "well i didnt know what to do, i was working, u was in a state so i thought i better let X know case something happened".

I recently found out my ex partner was doing drugs and was around a man who was controlling her, I said subtle things to her about it, but didnt want to come straight out with my concerns because i didnt want her to feel like she couldnt tell me things, i wanted to stay onside, but also I couldnt sit back and watch this carry-on. So after alot of thinking in a short space of time, i thought im gonna have to tell her sister, now thats hard enough because her sister thinks im some sort of psycho.. I messaged her a very long message explaining everything.. knowing i was at great risk of losing my ex's trust by "going behind her back" but i was willing to take that risk if it meant her being ok and getting support.. and i did get "why the fuck have you contacted my family, i never want to speak to you again" but I told her I didnt care if she hated me (i did) I was acting in her best interests because i love her... it took a couple of days but she came round to it... she realised it was outta love.

Sorry if ive rambled and bored you but thought it might be helpful for u to see it from two view points from the same person.

xxx

[BimoUK]

I know, it's just me being selfish. X

[Roses]

ok you are missing the point here. I said to sit down and talk to her about how her actions have made you feel!! I was not for one minute suggesting you tell her you want to end your life. Jesus man, who do you think I am? And hell yeah you are being selfish. She is your mother and has every right to be worried about you!

[BimoUK]

Thanks Roses

[zoew]

this made me think a lot,

if it was my mum i would be really annoyed and feel like she had "gone behind my back", but if it was my best friend i would be really disappointed if she didnt "care enough" to phone my GP to make sure i was getting help

not sure if i am just muddying the waters, but i guess it depends on you relationship with your mum.

no one is purposely trying to hurt or upset you, we all go about things abit cockeyed sometimes (or most of the time in my case!)but at least your mum loves you.

dont think ive helped much.. sorry!