Dani Posted September 25, 2010 Report Share Posted September 25, 2010 From what i can see the post was locked just as every other goodbye post has been in the past. It hasn't been deleted therefore the poster had a chance to say what he had to. im sorry he felt the need to leave and im sorry to hear its upset you. But if we bend one rule then why not others?once you start its hard to know where to draw the line. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jinxsta Posted September 25, 2010 Author Report Share Posted September 25, 2010 Thank you arrakis. xxx Dani... im not against there being a rule with suicide posts, coz i can see and have seen how much distress they cause people... but a goodbye to the forum i feel is a different kettle of fish... its someone usually saying they do not like something about the forum.. yeah maybe they should express that through ticket or whatever, but we are not always in the right frame of mind to think of that... i just feel if someone is leaving because of forum dispute it should be allowed to be up for discussion... because otherwise it seems the signal is being sent out "u say u dont agree with the forum it gets locked"...and people who wanna give a view, for or against cant. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joshua Posted September 25, 2010 Report Share Posted September 25, 2010 This members post was locked like any other who says the same. Mods see "im leaving" and the post is locked, automatic and very simple. This is something that happens each and every time and can be checked by looking through past posts. The fact he decided to air his grievences in the way he did whilst saying he is leaving is a choice he made. He could of just as easy decided to post his thoughts, await a resonse and then leave or post it and leave without saying "im leaving" Bpdlkeme was not pushed out from this site he made a decision to leave. I find it kind of strange that people sign up for the forum and its terms and then only when they are affected by them they complain. The rules were there when you joined and each and every person agreed to them as a condition of joining. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joshua Posted September 25, 2010 Report Share Posted September 25, 2010 TBH fuck this shit right now... my point was just people may feel rejected and unwanted (esp with BPD) if a goodbye post is made and locked... no i wont PM coz well to be perfectly honest i couldnt give a flying fuck anymore PLUS this is a community concern not a privatre one... go ahead do the little rules and acts against free speech, and kicking people while they are down... who am i to judge? What is this? You have a bad day so everyone else must pay? You bring something up that has bothered you, people are responding as you incited and then you couldnt give a flying fuck anymore? You seem quick to jump on your rights to freedom of speech and belittle the rules here but these are exactly what keep everyone safe. What about the rights of the people who are affected by leaving posts? the people who use goodbye posts as a means to achive or alter a situation to something that fits their situation better? Goodbye posts are often used as a means to manipulate people or in an effort to seek sympathy or reassurance and it isnt fair or right for people who have offered their support and friendship in times of need. 9 times out of 10 people return. Maybe not today or tomorrow but they return. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narcissa Posted September 25, 2010 Report Share Posted September 25, 2010 if people are affected by leaving posts then why keep them on the forum instead of making them invisible? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joshua Posted September 25, 2010 Report Share Posted September 25, 2010 Because not everyone who says goodbye is doing so due to the reasons ive outlines above. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narcissa Posted September 25, 2010 Report Share Posted September 25, 2010 who's to say they are being manipulative? It could just be how they are feeling at the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joshua Posted September 25, 2010 Report Share Posted September 25, 2010 Could be, but in my experience thats mostly not the case. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narcissa Posted September 25, 2010 Report Share Posted September 25, 2010 nobody knows anybody else's mind but there own. It's an assumption you are making that people are being manipulative. I have said goodbye to this forum before. But i'm back. That's pretty much what alot of people have done on here. Doesn't mean there is an agenda. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joshua Posted September 25, 2010 Report Share Posted September 25, 2010 nobody knows anybody else's mind but there own. It's an assumption you are making that people are being manipulative. I have said goodbye to this forum before. But i'm back. That's pretty much what alot of people have done on here. Doesn't mean there is an agenda. Your making an assumption that im making an assumption lol I say this through discussions with many people over the years who have said they are leaving for one reason or another. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narcissa Posted September 25, 2010 Report Share Posted September 25, 2010 ah yes but you did say that some posts were meant to manipulate. Anyway, even if they were meant to manipulate, it's not as if they post 'validate me or i'll hurt myself' now that's manipulation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boobsticle Posted September 25, 2010 Report Share Posted September 25, 2010 Manipulation isn't that blatant, if it was, it wouldn't be very good manipulation because the manupulatees would know they were being manipulated. (that sentence hurts my head) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narcissa Posted September 25, 2010 Report Share Posted September 25, 2010 but it's just as affective. I know this. God knows how many times i said that when i was at my worst. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joshua Posted September 25, 2010 Report Share Posted September 25, 2010 Abandonment to some could be worse.... Anyways the point is the rule exists for a reason like the others and these were agreed to by each person when joining. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joshua Posted September 25, 2010 Report Share Posted September 25, 2010 Manipulation isn't that blatant, if it was, it wouldn't be very good manipulation because the manupulatees would know they were being manipulated. (that sentence hurts my head) HAHAHA thats bloody brilliant!!!! I love that sentance! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boobsticle Posted September 25, 2010 Report Share Posted September 25, 2010 but it's just as affective. I know this. God knows how many times i said that when i was at my worst. It doesn't make much difference how it's said, though, the inherent meaning is still the same, whether you're blatant about what you want from it or not, it's still manipulation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narcissa Posted September 25, 2010 Report Share Posted September 25, 2010 my main point is, that it if someone is being subtle about there manipulation then you wouldn't know. Therefore you wouldn't know if they were being manipulative or not. So it's just an assumption. Maybe if it is manipulation then it's a subconscious thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joshua Posted September 25, 2010 Report Share Posted September 25, 2010 my main point - So we lock all posts that are goodbyes and therefore we are not assuming which member has which motives just that it happens a lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narcissa Posted September 25, 2010 Report Share Posted September 25, 2010 my main point - So we lock all posts that are goodbyes and therefore we are not assuming which member has which motives just that it happens a lot. That's fair enough Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joshua Posted September 25, 2010 Report Share Posted September 25, 2010 That's fair enough Sigh of relief.. Now im off to sleep. Night night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Warrior Princess Posted September 26, 2010 Report Share Posted September 26, 2010 I don't feel that anyone was treated unfairly here. The lock good bye posts is for ALL reguardless of whether they say something about staff or not. heck if I made a goodbye post it would be locked too! Note: the comments about staff were left there and not removed so freedom of speech, if you want to call it that, was alowed. It's not against the rules to make a goodbye post, but you do so with the understanding it will be locked. Suicide good bye type posts are completely removed, but other goodbye posts are simply locked to prevent a long list of replies for or against them leaving! It can go both ways. Some may choose to respond "Good I'm glad you are leaving" which would not be beneficial to anyone. Those who want to respond to a goodbye post or status update are always free to do so with a PM or even a profile comment. If the person really is leaving, they won't see them anyway but most people come back to check on the responses which is why I believe the rule is in place. I have seen things from "Back stage" and I can assure you 100% that no one showed favoritism to anyone in this incidence. I can understand that people may be upset when a member leaves. It can be a sad time and bring up anger and frustration in us. Goodbye posts hurt and never heal. No one can force anyone to stay. They make their own choices. We can only hope that when their feelings calm down they will return and focus on those who loved them, not those they disagreed with. There is much to lose by doing the opposite. WP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted September 26, 2010 Report Share Posted September 26, 2010 Arrakis I am so sorry I accidentally negged your post ! I'm so sorry I went to check who had negged you and in my early morning blindness I negged it myself instead of hitting the 0 right beside it. Please forgive me! And if a kindly mod could get rid of it that would be great! Again, so sorry Arrakis, I just was being nosey to see who had negged you. I will now go and get a coffee and make a mental note to be more careful first thing with my button pressing! xxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Warrior Princess Posted September 26, 2010 Report Share Posted September 26, 2010 Manipulation isn't that blatant, if it was, it wouldn't be very good manipulation because the manupulatees would know they were being manipulated. (that sentence hurts my head) No wonder your avatar has to fix their hair so much! WP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Warrior Princess Posted September 26, 2010 Report Share Posted September 26, 2010 Arrakis I am so sorry I accidentally negged your post ! I'm so sorry I went to check who had negged you and in my early morning blindness I negged it myself instead of hitting the 0 right beside it. Please forgive me! And if a kindly mod could get rid of it that would be great! Again, so sorry Arrakis, I just was being nosey to see who had negged you. I will now go and get a coffee and make a mental note to be more careful first thing with my button pressing! xxxxxx I unnegged it for you No cheese for that clicky mouse of yours! WP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted September 26, 2010 Report Share Posted September 26, 2010 LOL thanks Warrior. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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