Alaska_Grown Posted October 26, 2010 Report Share Posted October 26, 2010 This is probably going to get a little complicated but any advice would be more than helpful... So, my son and I live with my boyfriend and his family (mother, brother and aunt) and I adore the hell out of his mother. His brother started dating this girl (who lives in Maryland and we currently live in North Carolina) 4 months after James (my boyfriend) and I started dating... The girl (Amy) and myself talked through texts and really enjoyed each other. She's got a son (from a different guy) and when he was 2 months old, Amy decided to come down to North Carolina and visit James' brother (Cas.) Their mom and aunt were on vacation so it was just the guys and their girlfriends... Amy and I continued to talk friendly but at this point I was disgusted with her... she left her 2 month old at home WITH THE STOMACH FLU to come get laid and do drugs with Cas. Later on she said that her son was not sick and that her mother didn't want her to take her son... either way, she lied! That's probably the most disgusting thing about her to me (oh yeah, she left her son AGAIN to come get laid and high this past week...) Anywho... the reason this is titled "The" Daughter-In-Law is because I adore their mom SO much... and I love her more than I love my own mother because my parents could give a rat's ass about me. And they way that Amy has gone about stuff... she's totally putting on a mask for their mom to see... And yes, if she ends up liking her more than me, I will get jealous... I lost my own parents to my oldest brother whom they would tilt the world for if they had to... I don't want that to happen between their mother and I when it comes to daughter-in-laws. Which I know I have nothing to be jealous over... just take a look at what else she's done: Tries telling other people's children what to do as if she's been a part of this family for years. Has LOUD sex in the next room while their mother is watching tv. Asked their mother to pay for her train ticket to North Carolina Doesn't have a job and says she'll pay their mom back with child support. Tells their aunt how WONDERFUL Cas is in bed. Doesn't call to ask about her son while she's here. Doesn't clean up her mess in their mother's house (I end up doing it.) She was here one time WITH her son (we were out of state) and left her son to sleep on MINE and JAMES' bed (in a different room) So they could have sex. Tries telling me stuff about my OWN child and about their mother which I've known WAY before her. Tells me how to discipline my child. Smoked drugs on their mother's patio. Told me that I need to keep James in line. Brags about being such a good druggie. Said she doesn't need a job that she's going to live off of welfare. Left ALL of her stuff on my son's bed and dresser (including bras and panties.) Acts like she is in charge of the household... I mean the list goes on and on I am just so fired up about this!! And she hides ALL OF IT! I know it sounds selfish but I do NOT want their mother to favor this girl! I disrespect her SOOOO much and the fact that she is hiding all of this from their mother makes me sick. She is disrespecting her and she doesn't even know it! Anyways... what do I do? I am so just glad that she currently lives in a different state... but she's due to visit again soon... What should I do? I'm sick of playing the good girl card, I've been kind to her and even pretend to act as if I am interested in some of her conversations... I can't do it anymore... I just don't want what happen to my parents and I happen between me and their mother... I'm so sorry that it was so long but any advice would be wonderful... Thank you luvs... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BimoUK Posted October 26, 2010 Report Share Posted October 26, 2010 I'm afraid I have no idea what to suggest honey, but sending you all the luv and hugs in the world all the same. (((Laska-Loo))) XX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alaska_Grown Posted October 26, 2010 Author Report Share Posted October 26, 2010 Thank you luv. (((BIMOOO))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wynter Grace Posted October 26, 2010 Report Share Posted October 26, 2010 She sounds like a pretty awful person, Sorry I don't have much adivce to give you (((Alaska))) xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alaska_Grown Posted October 26, 2010 Author Report Share Posted October 26, 2010 (((WYNTER))) Oh, she is. Thanks luv. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canadianbumble Posted October 26, 2010 Report Share Posted October 26, 2010 Sounds like nobody has ever challenged her bad behaviour, but how to discuss that with her I'm not sure. Some people will never listen no matter how clear the truth is. I'm sorry that you are in such an uncomfortable situation. wish I had more constructive advice. B x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rigger77 Posted October 26, 2010 Report Share Posted October 26, 2010 catch 22.. if you tell the mother what she's really like it could cause problem's through the family.. the chances are if you have noticed all this then so has other's.. my advise would be to keep your cool.. people like that always come unstuck in the end.. and when she does.. show rank and stand by your mother in law.. :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superwoman Posted October 26, 2010 Report Share Posted October 26, 2010 I agree with Apollo77, if you speak your mind you might get involved in a nasty, bitchy taking sides/family breaking situation. Its best you keep being sweet kind you, don’t let her get to you. Her awful ways will come out eventually, it takes real, rare talent to be successfully two faced! Who knows maybe the rest of your family has already figured out her awful side but no one wants to point that out, avoiding being framed as a shit stirrer. Be brave, keep positive, good luck! :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miko Posted October 26, 2010 Report Share Posted October 26, 2010 It's James' mother's house, tell her and make sure she understands you are not asking her to choose between the other lot and you (and your son). She very very kindly welcomed you and your son as her guest. Home is no. 1 importance. I hope you will have a home soon. If James is genuine towards you he will be at your side in all this. Is James going to show himself up to be genuine? Other people's fancy pieces do not have a status of any resemblence whatever to a daughter in law. They have no status other than a visitor. If family members (Cas) insist on visitors behaving like this then they are not acting as family members should. (And remember this is that good lady's family not your family.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alaska_Grown Posted October 27, 2010 Author Report Share Posted October 27, 2010 Thank you all SO much... all of your advice makes so much sense and I will make sure to abide by it. I believe her "dark" side WILL come out... the fact that she told their mother that she was going to pay her back with CHILD SUPPORT I would have thought would be a BIG RED FLAG... And their mom is so kind that she would not of said anything about that situation to her. Something she DIDN'T like (is not on the list) is she tried getting Cas to apply for food stamps while still living in his mother's house... So some of her "evilness" has already came out... But I will continue to keep my cool and wait for the rest to come out... thank you all so much luvs... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BimoUK Posted October 27, 2010 Report Share Posted October 27, 2010 Good for you hun. Just remember, what goes around comes around. She'll get what's coming to her one way or another. XX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmyP Posted October 27, 2010 Report Share Posted October 27, 2010 xxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alaska_Grown Posted October 27, 2010 Author Report Share Posted October 27, 2010 (((BIMOOO))) One can only hope. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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