superwoman Posted October 28, 2010 Report Share Posted October 28, 2010 This whole subject is getting out of hand, its like Datas issues have become a public fight, everyones business, and everyone wants to have the final word. Everyone seems to have an opinion over Datas family and everyone fights over it defending their opinions as if it was their own family being attacked. Giving advice is okay, but anyone who has been given advice has got the right to take it up or ignore it, that’s why it is called an advice, not an order. I don’t have anything critizising to say about anyones point of views here, because people are entitled to their opinions and only Data knows to evaluate them in a fair way because he is the only person who truly knows his issues and situations. I just hope people would have more strength in accepting that their point of view doesn’t have to be the last word. It takes strength of mind to leave the topic alone. I wish people here would find that strength. This is not a battle. This is Datas innermost issues that are being torn apart and analysed here like its public consumption and everyone wants a piece. I think this subject should be closed now and leave Data in peace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BimoUK Posted October 28, 2010 Report Share Posted October 28, 2010 This whole subject is getting out of hand, its like Datas issues have become a public fight, everyones business, and everyone wants to have the final word. Everyone seems to have an opinion over Datas family and everyone fights over it defending their opinions as if it was their own family being attacked. Giving advice is okay, but anyone who has been given advice has got the right to take it up or ignore it, that’s why it is called an advice, not an order. I don’t have anything critizising to say about anyones point of views here, because people are entitled to their opinions and only Data knows to evaluate them in a fair way because he is the only person who truly knows his issues and situations. I just hope people would have more strength in accepting that their point of view doesn’t have to be the last word. It takes strength of mind to leave the topic alone. I wish people here would find that strength. This is not a battle. This is Datas innermost issues that are being torn apart and analysed here like its public consumption and everyone wants a piece. I think this subject should be closed now and leave Data in peace. It was Data's choice to create this post, no-one forced him to offer up his "innermost issues" and in fact they are not what is being discussed here, it is the method in which he has chosen to "name and shame" people whose opinions do not meet with his own. That said, you are right, this is getting out of hand and I shall, for my part, leave it here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slit Posted October 28, 2010 Report Share Posted October 28, 2010 I agree on one level but as I think no one else I have ever met on any forum would give this much info about their family and reading back his posts he will only start it all over again in a few hours. If you don't like it it don't read it learnt my own lesson but the main way to stop this is to ignore it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted October 28, 2010 Author Report Share Posted October 28, 2010 I agree on one level but as I think no one else I have ever met on any forum would give this much info about their family Why is giving out information a bad thing though? I do have some boundaries here. I don't give out my name, address, email address, or anything detailed to do with my work, unless its in private to someone I trust. This is a support forum for people with mental health problems so my assumption is that, no matter what information I give out, people will by sympathetic or they will ignore my posts. I know that this is a naive assumption though. reading back his posts he will only start it all over again in a few hours. If you don't like it it don't read it learnt my own lesson but the main way to stop this is to ignore it. You can ignore me all you want but it won't stop me posting! The main way to stop it is for me to find a resolution to my problems. Its just the same as anyone else on here, we all tend to have difficult, messy and complex problems which have no simple solutions, thats why we are here. If there was an easy way out, most of us would have found it. For example, if someone writes "oh I feel bad and I cut this morning because of an argument with my husband", do you get nasty with them and say "you posted 1 month ago about cutting, I told you at the time to listen to a CD if you get upset instead, and you are not listening to advice" !!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted October 28, 2010 Report Share Posted October 28, 2010 Its just another episode in what I call "Data-gate" Josh, I have to disagree with you again I'm afraid love. Data started this thread not by responding to people's individual comments as they come but by bunching together 4 really long threads and then commenting on a group of his feelings and thoughts whilst naming and shaming everyone he feels has hurt him with ther responses. The usual manner of address is the either address each post or a few posts in one thread at each go. He has dragged up weeks/months of comments and piled them all together to make it look as bad as possible. I'm sure if I bunched together all the negative comments I have received and all the arguements I have had on here it would look pretty similar just with different names. So why is it that you let this happen but when someone responds with the same honesty they are told they are hurting Data? Data made it public instead of doing what he should've which was to address the individuals via PM. So why should Gun not respond in the same manner? It would appear that sides are being drawn for some reason and I want no part of it. What is good for the goose is good for the gander surely? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peregrine Posted October 28, 2010 Report Share Posted October 28, 2010 I have become very affected by reading through this post. I want to keep it short. I have become deeply affected because I spent some of the darkest hours of my life last night. I'd like to share what I've come up with and then leave. We've all seen the dark, all searching for light. HEALING - To all that are hurt Shower us with feathers, night With tenderness around the heavy heart Help us grow wings for our next flight And take the darkness from the weary mind Wrap our souls in safety, night With entire safety, so we depart From anger, hate and deepest fright Please take the dark which turns us blind Grant us some air to breathe, new day To fill the lungs with precious hope Lead us along the painful way Please help us find the inner strength Envelop us with sunshine, day The warmth might help us cope Please help us, help us - then we may Find peace, as we'll go any length For life is for living Death always so near Need strength, be forgiving Heal hurt, shed fear Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted October 28, 2010 Author Report Share Posted October 28, 2010 Its just another episode in what I call "Data-gate" Josh, I have to disagree with you again I'm afraid love. Data started this thread not by responding to people's individual comments as they come but by bunching together 4 really long threads and then commenting on a group of his feelings and thoughts whilst naming and shaming everyone he feels has hurt him with ther responses. The usual manner of address is the either address each post or a few posts in one thread at each go. He has dragged up weeks/months of comments and piled them all together to make it look as bad as possible. I'm sure if I bunched together all the negative comments I have received and all the arguements I have had on here it would look pretty similar just with different names. So why is it that you let this happen but when someone responds with the same honesty they are told they are hurting Data? Data made it public instead of doing what he should've which was to address the individuals via PM. So why should Gun not respond in the same manner? It would appear that sides are being drawn for some reason and I want no part of it. What is good for the goose is good for the gander surely? There are just so many posts that I didn't feel that going through and responding individually was the best way. It just ends up in tit-for-tat bickering all over the place and thats not what I want, and its not good for the forum also. There is also a lot of repetition in the replies, and it would be wasteful of my time and wasteful of other peoples. When you say that I am "naming and shaming" people, I fail to see why this is wrong, when it is ok for these people (who don't even know me) to, for example, question my competence as a parent. This is a hugely hypocritical response of yours. It is completely untrue that I have dragged up weeks/months of comments. I am specifically referring to those posts that I quoted at the beginning. The oldest one is 26th October. And... I am not bunching together stuff to make it look bad. I feel this was a fair and objective analysis of the replies to my topics. I commented on the (few!) of them that were positive and constructive, and thanked those people. I don't want to respond individually in PMs because I tried not to make this a personal argument between me and other people. Its me refuting (or agreeing with) what they are saying about me and their problems. But in order to do this effectively I have to identify the person and say what they have said. Anyway Roses, I thought you were going to stop reading my posts because you felt it was too damaging to your mental health? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slit Posted October 28, 2010 Report Share Posted October 28, 2010 This is all adding fuel to a fire that only one person wants to keep burning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted October 28, 2010 Author Report Share Posted October 28, 2010 This is all adding fuel to a fire that only one person wants to keep burning. No I don't want any fires burning. I posted looking for support and people made what I felt to be unhelpful responses so I posted countering them. I would much prefer there to have been no unhelpful responses to start off with, i.e. for people who don't like me to just avoid my topics, then all this would have been unnecessary. All this has taken up so much of my time and emotional energy . To be honest I think I might just stop replying to this now, my friends know what I am like, they don't need me to explain or justify myself, so I am going to get on with my uni work. I'll leave you with the worlds of Billy Joel: "We didn't start the fire It was always burning Since the world's been turning We didn't start the fire No we didn't light it But we tried to fight it" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pixie Hollow Posted October 28, 2010 Report Share Posted October 28, 2010 My head is wrecked reading all this,Why not use the PM system? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boobsticle Posted October 28, 2010 Report Share Posted October 28, 2010 In this thread and the related threads, there has been a LOT of misuse of the rep system by the same members. I would invite everyone to refresh their minds on the proper usage of the rep system by reading Lilly's thread about it, and please do not neg a post because of your feelings against the poster. It's very unfair and it gives the rep system less value over all. Sorry to sound preachy about it. :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BimoUK Posted October 28, 2010 Report Share Posted October 28, 2010 In this thread and the related threads, there has been a LOT of misuse of the rep system by the same members. I would invite everyone to refresh their minds on the proper usage of the rep system by reading Lilly's thread about it, and please do not neg a post because of your feelings against the poster. It's very unfair and it gives the rep system less value over all. Sorry to sound preachy about it. Agreed. For my part, however, I have only applied appropriate Rep for the post in question, regardless of the member posting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pixie Hollow Posted October 28, 2010 Report Share Posted October 28, 2010 I can see what your saying but why have a rep system anyway?In my opinion i don't think there should be one on a mental health forum where there are vulnerable people,Sorry just my feelings.x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boobsticle Posted October 28, 2010 Report Share Posted October 28, 2010 The issue about the rep system has been discussed quite a few times, but when used properly, it goes as a good indication of what posts contain good advice, which posters are valued contributors, etc. so for now, it's staying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pixie Hollow Posted October 28, 2010 Report Share Posted October 28, 2010 The issue about the rep system has been discussed quite a few times, but when used properly, it goes as a good indication of what posts contain good advice, which posters are valued contributors, etc. so for now, it's staying. Ok was just saying,I am not to know it has been discussed before darl :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wonderstar Posted October 28, 2010 Report Share Posted October 28, 2010 This is all adding fuel to a fire that only one person wants to keep burning. No I don't want any fires burning. I posted looking for support and people made what I felt to be unhelpful responses so I posted countering them. I would much prefer there to have been no unhelpful responses to start off with, i.e. for people who don't like me to just avoid my topics, then all this would have been unnecessary. All this has taken up so much of my time and emotional energy . To be honest I think I might just stop replying to this now, my friends know what I am like, they don't need me to explain or justify myself, so I am going to get on with my uni work. I'll leave you with the worlds of Billy Joel: "We didn't start the fire It was always burning Since the world's been turning We didn't start the fire No we didn't light it But we tried to fight it" are you deliberately picking songs to enrage/scare people? that one was about how the entire world was wrong apart from america and america was going to put it right. clearly you are america here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boobsticle Posted October 28, 2010 Report Share Posted October 28, 2010 The issue about the rep system has been discussed quite a few times, but when used properly, it goes as a good indication of what posts contain good advice, which posters are valued contributors, etc. so for now, it's staying. Ok was just saying,I am not to know it has been discussed before darl Course you weren't, I mentioned that it had been discussed before just to let you know, in case you thought I was ignoring your concerns. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slit Posted October 29, 2010 Report Share Posted October 29, 2010 It may look asthough I only minus points off one person but that persons posts offend me so I am not misusing the system. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted October 29, 2010 Author Report Share Posted October 29, 2010 It may look asthough I only minus points off one person but that persons posts offend me so I am not misusing the system. So why do you continue to read topics by that person then? And read them repeatedly, making multiple replies..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rigger77 Posted October 29, 2010 Report Share Posted October 29, 2010 .. nuFf SaiD :mellow: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sophhee23 Posted October 29, 2010 Report Share Posted October 29, 2010 Its just another episode in what I call "Data-gate" Josh, I have to disagree with you again I'm afraid love. Data started this thread not by responding to people's individual comments as they come but by bunching together 4 really long threads and then commenting on a group of his feelings and thoughts whilst naming and shaming everyone he feels has hurt him with ther responses. The usual manner of address is the either address each post or a few posts in one thread at each go. He has dragged up weeks/months of comments and piled them all together to make it look as bad as possible. I'm sure if I bunched together all the negative comments I have received and all the arguements I have had on here it would look pretty similar just with different names. So why is it that you let this happen but when someone responds with the same honesty they are told they are hurting Data? Data made it public instead of doing what he should've which was to address the individuals via PM. So why should Gun not respond in the same manner? It would appear that sides are being drawn for some reason and I want no part of it. What is good for the goose is good for the gander surely? Couldnt of said it better myself roses, i think you will find if u look back that no matter what data says or does josh will side with him..he always does! Ive come to accept it now and i take no notice of what josh thinks! Best way! xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shellybelly Posted October 29, 2010 Report Share Posted October 29, 2010 the rep system is been totally misused here slit every single post data posts you neg him it is clear you dont like him IGNORE HIM wonderstar headhurts pixie hollow and i could name a few more the same goes for ye stop reading his posts if ye dont like him its called bullying what ye are doing and is totally unfair Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olly_el_nino Posted October 30, 2010 Report Share Posted October 30, 2010 This whole subject is getting out of hand, its like Datas issues have become a public fight, everyones business, and everyone wants to have the final word. Everyone seems to have an opinion over Datas family and everyone fights over it defending their opinions as if it was their own family being attacked. Giving advice is okay, but anyone who has been given advice has got the right to take it up or ignore it, that’s why it is called an advice, not an order. I don’t have anything critizising to say about anyones point of views here, because people are entitled to their opinions and only Data knows to evaluate them in a fair way because he is the only person who truly knows his issues and situations. I just hope people would have more strength in accepting that their point of view doesn’t have to be the last word. It takes strength of mind to leave the topic alone. I wish people here would find that strength. This is not a battle. This is Datas innermost issues that are being torn apart and analysed here like its public consumption and everyone wants a piece. I think this subject should be closed now and leave Data in peace. I dont really know anything about this at all. Nor do I really want to. However... ...this does seem the most poignant post in this whole situation! I am just here to give a little support when needed and get a little support when needed. I'm not here to judge or be judged... and if someone decides not to take my advice, that's fine by me. Just so long as I was there at the time to listen and offer what I could. That's all this place should be about. I hope you can all forgive and forget.... at least forget. Ignore and don't answer posts you don't feel you can have a positive contribution to, and just try to help where you can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted October 30, 2010 Author Report Share Posted October 30, 2010 Couldnt of said it better myself roses, i think you will find if u look back that no matter what data says or does josh will side with him..he always does! Ive come to accept it now and i take no notice of what josh thinks! Best way! xx This isn't true. There has been more than one case on here where Josh has sided against me. He is fair. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Warrior Princess Posted October 30, 2010 Report Share Posted October 30, 2010 I live "Back stage" and I can assure you that neither Josh, nor any of the other staff take sides. We look at each situation objectively and individually reguardless of who the involved parties are. We also are trained to put ourselves at somewhat of a distance so that we can remain fair and objective in every situation. Sometimes we have to make difficult decisions that we would rather not make, but bottom line is that each individual is responsible for their own behaviors and must be willing to face what ever consequences follow those actions. I can also assure you that all the staff care. That is why we are here volunteering our time to help make this forum a better place for all. WP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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