Down Again.

[Christine001]

do you think it is possible to be fine and feel hopeful one week and in dispair another, well yes it is thats my life, trying to hold on and no one can understand how hard that is. god please i am so tired.

[superwoman]

I know how you feel, the each feeling being as powerful as the one before, each feeling mattering, because what seems to matter is how you feel now. But try and see past it, remember those times you felt good, think of it as a cycle of emotions, round you go feeling great one week, bad the other, but by coping methods you can stop the cycle, like stopping the clock and stay at that good feeling for longer and longer. Its comforting if you can see the big picture and think, " this too shall pass " when you are feeling down.

(((christine))) xx

[mjk]

do you think it is possible to be fine and feel hopeful one week and in dispair another, well yes it is thats my life, trying to hold on and no one can understand how hard that is. god please i am so tired.

I think it's perfectly possible hun, and it absolutely sucks. I understand as best as I can, without being you. Try get some rest when you're feeling down, and I hope you feel better soon. xxxx

[Peregrine]

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Christine))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Here's a huge hug for you. The most tiring thing of all is having to go through all of these emotions and try and weather the bad ones. Please be patient, hunni. You've done so, so well in getting some help sorted. You've done SO well. And as superwoman says - these cycles will go on for a wee while yet, we all experience them, it's so very painful and exhausting. And I don't know why this is but we all seem to get so cross with ourselves and tired of ourselves and impatient, without thinking how much strength and energy we invest into getting better and making the best of the situation we are in. These are awesome qualities which we forget about.

So here is me reminding you - you might not believe in it just now, but you are strong because you keep fighting. Good things need time to grow :)

[marty1970]

Hi Christine,

Like peregrine littleflower and superwoman have said far more elegantly than I can, try not to be too hard on yourself, ( note to oneself must take this advise ) It is impossible for my friends who dont suffer with depression to fully understand the pain that I feel when I am having a bad day,and just how energy sapping it is, For me the cycles are very close together at the moment, sometimes the despair only last 5 minutes... sometimes all day. When I am at my lowest I try ( its hard !) to remember that these feelings will pass.

Try and focus on the way you feel when you are hopeful... and know that things will get better, they have to, its like a pendulum, it will swing back the other way, and in time I hope that for you ( me and everyone else ) the pendulum will gradually loose momentum and settle in a happy place.

I wish that there was a way that we can all share our strength , so on the day's that we are strong we could lend some to others who are having a bad day.... I guess in a way that is EXACTLY what this forum does, today I have been helped immeasurably by some lovely kind people with words of support.

I really hope that you get some rest tonight and that tomorrow is a little easier for you

((((christine))))

[lonelyheartemma]

(((((((((((((christine)))))))))) it is possible, I wish it wasnt except with me its more like every minute then every week.

i know some people dont like it when people say i know how you feel. and I don't know what its like hanging onto your life but i do know the pain of hanging onto mine.

keep hanging on. you are lovely and so strong and maybe next week will come sooner this time xx

[Christine001]

Thanks for your lovely comments, what strikes me is that I simply cant recall the good bits when I am down and the bad bits when I am rarely feeling good. It is like being two people and very unnerving.

but seems I am not alone in this which for me is comfort in its self, having dealt with this for so long on my own, at least I am starting to understand it more.

what would I do without you all. :crying:

[lonelyheartemma]

that happens to me too, i know there are things that make me feel good but when im down I cant remember what they are. I was thinking next time im hapy i'll write a list of the good things and then when i'm sad again I'll look at the list, maybe you could do that too? it can take ages waiting for a happy mment tho

no your not alone we have got each other :grouphug[1]:

[Christine001]

not doing good really tonight best to drink and fall asleep as feel like doing something more but the night is still young,

what to tell the world to f off. guess this is what thousands of lonely people are doing so what the f. :mad0233:

[Christine001]

ok will do

[lonelyheartemma]

Christine i hope your ok xxxxxx

[Warrior Princess]

It's even possible to fluctuate during the day from one mood to another.

I've been on a bit of a manic streak, now I can feel myself going down. I know just how you feel and it seems very hard to turn any of it around.

Looking at what's good around you, such as the comments here and the people you connect with is the right path.

WP

[Christine001]

drank myself to sleep, hate weekends on my own, cant go out have to try and christmas shop for kids on line, need to stay on here for safety , xxx

[mjk]

drank myself to sleep, hate weekends on my own, cant go out have to try and christmas shop for kids on line, need to stay on here for safety , xxx

We're here with you hun. Hope you find some goodies for the kids that don't cost the earth. Thinking of you. xxxx

[Christine001]

Got my letter with official bpd diagnosis and recurrent depressive disorder, even though I knew this seeing it in writing and it being sent to my gp and pdoc is very difficult for me, keep safe keep safe, the children need you.

[mjk]

Got my letter with official bpd diagnosis and recurrent depressive disorder, even though I knew this seeing it in writing and it being sent to my gp and pdoc is very difficult for me, keep safe keep safe, the children need you.

Do you agree with your diagnosis hun? I found it helpful when I got told I had BPD, and had it explained to me, cos I could relate to it and say to myself, 'it's ok, there's a reason you're feeling this way, it's not just you being difficult.'

:bigarmhug[1]:

[Christine001]

Hi littleflower, yes i do agree with it just usually hide away from professionals and people so feel exposed. any maybe validating as it is Its also then about accepting that things in my past did happen. worried how professionals will treat me too.

like so many on here say if the stigma wasnt there and people understood the struggle that bpd indicates maybe i would feel better. I dont know will take me a few days to get used to it.

[mjk]

Hi littleflower, yes i do agree with it just usually hide away from professionals and people so feel exposed. any maybe validating as it is Its also then about accepting that things in my past did happen. worried how professionals will treat me too.

like so many on here say if the stigma wasnt there and people understood the struggle that bpd indicates maybe i would feel better. I dont know will take me a few days to get used to it.

If it can give you any comfort and hope hun, the professionals involved in my care treat me really well. They recognise and understand BPD as a real, serious problem, and are giving me the support and long-term therapy that such complex issues need. I don't feel any stigma. I hope you get the help and support you need. xxxx