Starting A New Job Tomorrow

[superwoman]

((((((soph)))))) I hope the tablets help, it must be kind of depressing getting them again after so long but most people need extra help when things are bad at home or when they are starting something new. it doesnt mean you'll have to take them forever xxxx

i wish i knew what to say with not seperating your moods, i cant do that either and I dont have BPD. i think maybe some people who arent depressed have trouble with it too but you still managed to go

I think its good your going to the work thing and it is your choice, you know its better not to drink and you can resist it so youll probably be ok. it will be good to see your workmates in a social setting, you can make friends with them as well as working with them and they wont wonder why youre not there xx

Thanks emma, Im afraid Im not making a good impression a work with my miserable mood, Im usually a really energetic happy smiley person, literally a grin is glued on my face so Im really not myself right now, really struggling although at this very moment Im feeling calm but also very numb and useless, cant get anything done. I hope tablets work soon and I get more stronger ones if I prove I can take the tablets like intended and not all at once. :)

[Peregrine]

Hey Soph,

Sorry the second day was pants and that things with your hubby seem to get more tense. But I also think that the change from one partner suddenly working again would be a bit stressful in any marriage (I don't know out of experience as I've never been married but I imagine because it is a new situation that both sides need to get used to it).

Also, what I tend to do a lot is take things out of perspective, i.e. when I've had a bad spell all of a sudden I feel as if I've felt rotten for years and that my whole life is a mess. I'm not implying the same and I am not in your skin but you've had a first great day and the second one was rubbish...but you did have a good day, too.

I know your head is in a tizz right now, regarding men, etc. but it's good that you're going to the work do - every employee would do the same, so stick with it. This is also a new situation for your hubby again and I do understand his fears but maybe this could be a good way for you to show him that he can trust you. I don't know where you stand with your thoughts on your marriage, how far you would go to stick with it, but I'd imagine it to be easier to try and bear it and make it work than run into something really quickly which might not work out anyway and then stand there without a home all of a sudden.

It's so very difficult when our emotions are involved, this certainly speaks from experience but I got so hurt this summer by running into a fling so quickly, I honestly thought my life was sorted and it was all I ever needed - how wrong was I!?

Psychotherapy or counselling sounds a good step. It would definitely help in trying to sort out your emotions and feel a bit more grounded. That way you can make a 'proper' decision, based on a rational and partly emotional grounding rather than on impulse alone.

I really hope things get a bit easier for you - maybe you could arrange some work-time talk with your hubby and try and stick to that time, e.g. while you're having dinner or so. Just an idea, a compromise.

Also hope the tablets will work soon - sometimes takes a while, but stick with it as they will give you strength to sort things out properly - we all need a little help here and there.

Mind the way you go, my friend,

Pere xxx

[superwoman]

Hey Soph,

Sorry the second day was pants and that things with your hubby seem to get more tense. But I also think that the change from one partner suddenly working again would be a bit stressful in any marriage (I don't know out of experience as I've never been married but I imagine because it is a new situation that both sides need to get used to it).

Also, what I tend to do a lot is take things out of perspective, i.e. when I've had a bad spell all of a sudden I feel as if I've felt rotten for years and that my whole life is a mess. I'm not implying the same and I am not in your skin but you've had a first great day and the second one was rubbish...but you did have a good day, too.

I know your head is in a tizz right now, regarding men, etc. but it's good that you're going to the work do - every employee would do the same, so stick with it. This is also a new situation for your hubby again and I do understand his fears but maybe this could be a good way for you to show him that he can trust you. I don't know where you stand with your thoughts on your marriage, how far you would go to stick with it, but I'd imagine it to be easier to try and bear it and make it work than run into something really quickly which might not work out anyway and then stand there without a home all of a sudden.

It's so very difficult when our emotions are involved, this certainly speaks from experience but I got so hurt this summer by running into a fling so quickly, I honestly thought my life was sorted and it was all I ever needed - how wrong was I!?

Psychotherapy or counselling sounds a good step. It would definitely help in trying to sort out your emotions and feel a bit more grounded. That way you can make a 'proper' decision, based on a rational and partly emotional grounding rather than on impulse alone.

I really hope things get a bit easier for you - maybe you could arrange some work-time talk with your hubby and try and stick to that time, e.g. while you're having dinner or so. Just an idea, a compromise.

Also hope the tablets will work soon - sometimes takes a while, but stick with it as they will give you strength to sort things out properly - we all need a little help here and there.

Mind the way you go, my friend,

Pere xxx

Thank you Pere, I think thats a good idea - sticking to a certain time to talk and do work stuff at home, so I still have a separate homelife and its not all about me and my job. I think my hubby is worried mainly because he has seen some things happen before and can see it appearing now. Like at my old jobs (before escorting) I got really annoyed with him because he didnt let me do as much overtime as Ive wanted. If my bosses requested me something Id never say no, and he is waiting for the same priorities taking over unless he stops it right away before it happens.

Thank you for your support (((peregrine))) xxx