Twistedmister Posted November 30, 2010 Report Share Posted November 30, 2010 Well, Day 2 complete. Today was much easier.....but still really hard. The girl i'm now willing to admit i'm totally obsessed with, didn't show up again at the park. I felt fairly weak and out of control for letting it absorb so much of my attention......but i felt strong for trying to control my thoughts. And i felt great, in a horrilby sad sort of way, for realising so clearly how Borderline this was. It took a good few hours, but i finally managed to think about something else. My workout was good. I like working out in the beginning. Hopefully i can learn to enjoy it for the long haul. Work was alright. I managed to focus on work, rather than obsessively thinking about how i'm obsessively thinking about someone. I know it's silly. But everything is silly. I mean, if you really look at anything....it's pretty silly. What's the point of almost anything.... If i actually somehow manage to feel this way and not have it take over, that'll be a pretty big deal. I mean, if i can deal with this, without blatant devaluing or retreat....that will be cool. Meditation is hard. I hate it. I feel good after doing it, but i hate doing it. So day 2 done. I'm 1/60 th of the way there. ANd today, i don't think i contemplated suicide more than once. : ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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