ILostHer Posted January 2, 2011 Report Share Posted January 2, 2011 Won't go into too much information as it's all a bit yuck but I had the worse consequences because of my eating disorder yesterday, was very ill. Spent all day in excruciating pain and horrible discomfort all because I restrict to 300 cals a day but New years eve I binged BIG style. I actually considered going to A&E after about 12 hours but I am a nightmare for asking for help so I didn't. After years of restricting the body gets used to not having to go to the toilet, if you see what I mean, but with massive amounts of food going nowhere leads to impaction. Enough info me thinks lol. Any way point of this post is that early stages of eating disorders are possibly easier to deal with (?) With medical help than ones in later stages, so please, please try and ask for help now. The stupid thing is they leave you until you're underweight and showing signs of ill health before it's considered a 'disorder' but sometimes it's too late by then. We do a lot of damage to our bodies, but I imagine that damage can be undone, my body is a mess but even I am pretty sure if I could accept the help and repair the damage. But....the problem is my head is too far gone with the ed so I can't accept the help. This post is pretty pointless I suppose, just wanted to say eating disorders are a nightmare, the damage is silent. I don't want anyone else to suffer, or go further into it if they could be warned off. I have hardly any back teeth through bulimia and very low bone density due to anorexia. I am dehydrated all of the time and although I like wearing size 6 clothes, I am not sure it is worth it. Not for anyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wynter Grace Posted January 2, 2011 Report Share Posted January 2, 2011 :bigarmhug[1]: Sorry I have no advice, just thinking of you hunni xxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skp67 Posted January 2, 2011 Report Share Posted January 2, 2011 i too restrict my calorie intake each day, so can relate very much with what your saying. I also take laxatives daily aswell. As i am so desperate to be what i used to be again. Ed are nasty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toaster Posted January 2, 2011 Report Share Posted January 2, 2011 ((((((((charlotte)))))))) i also have similar um toilet issues and its not good, i have some terrible pain and end up resorting back to laxatives etc. but even some of those dont work any more just wanted you to know i know what its like and yes, EDs r a fucking nightmare. of all my problems my ED has the potential to tip me right over the edge if i allow it to... toast xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILostHer Posted January 2, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 2, 2011 Aww thanks for the replies. One of the reasons for my ed is because I have a fear of going to the toilet so I wouldn't even look at a laxative. I used to think nothing in... well nothing out, but after so long it bit back. My aunt died of bowel cancer because of laxative abuse because of her ed, so it is in the family. Yesterday was the first ever time I took a laxative, well copious amounts actually. I hope I never have to again. Sorry you all suffer too. I wish I could show someone how so not worth it it is. It's actually hell to have an ed. Any of them. I know it's not a choice but if there was a way of stopping people develop them I would preach it everywhere! Thanks again all of you xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bena.baby Posted January 2, 2011 Report Share Posted January 2, 2011 hugs to you xxx I don't have an eating disorder, but you've explained so eloquently here what it's like. It is such a dangerous thing to experience and I'm sorry you have to go through it. Sending lots of hugs and hope your way x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toaster Posted January 2, 2011 Report Share Posted January 2, 2011 i know its a choice how we react to the ED thinking but do we have a choice as to how we think/feel in the first place? i dunno... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Russell Posted January 3, 2011 Report Share Posted January 3, 2011 Hi 'ILostCharlotte' you say its a "pretty pointless" post but not in my opinion. I often find that I have to vent off my ED related stuff every now and then, I think probably because we dont talk about these things in the real world (so to speak) its all very secretive and sometimes it just helps to vent some of it off (bit like a pressure cooker I guess) I wish I could tell the whole world just how dangerous EDs are! they really manage to consume everything. The whole things seems like a very unfair deal. In many cases all we want is one outcome, be it a goal weight or body image thing, but the ed side of things will take everything it can! in my case, ectopic heart rate, bone mass, teeth, thinning hair, blackouts etc etc etc. Anyway......I could waffle all night but need to get some sleep. You are not alone in your struggles and Im glad you posted Take good care of yourself Russ. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bellaboo Posted January 3, 2011 Report Share Posted January 3, 2011 Its not a pointless post and i can totally relate the consequences of trying to feed or a new year binge hurt just as much as the restriction. I used to abuse laxatives and have been left with some very angry confused insides 4yrs after. Hope you can find a balance and dont have to experience days like that much more stay strong. X Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILostHer Posted January 3, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 3, 2011 i know its a choice how we react to the ED thinking but do we have a choice as to how we think/feel in the first place? i dunno... I don't think so, toast. I think it is as strong and independent as any other mental illness and just takes over. I know I choose not to put food into my mouth but the choice isn't mine...if that makes sense. Thank you all so much for your lovely replies. Sorry so many others are suffering. Russell and Bella I know exactly how you feel. And thank you Esme for being so sweet xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saharah Blue Posted January 3, 2011 Report Share Posted January 3, 2011 I think the most of us have dealt with feeling horrible sick, due to ED at one time or another. I am sorry you made yourself sick with too much initial intake. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unlucky Posted January 3, 2011 Report Share Posted January 3, 2011 They say it's crucial to get help within the first 5 years or something for the best chance of recovery and I think that has a lot to do with it getting ingrained into your brain. Thing is, it is so hard to admit that you need and are even worthy of help sometimes. And then, who do you go to for help? GP turned me away when mine first started with anorexia and now 9 years later I'm a binge eater and obese. Totally screwed in other words because I'm not thin enough and don't have a "serious enough" problem for someone to help me. :-( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILostHer Posted January 3, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 3, 2011 They say it's crucial to get help within the first 5 years or something for the best chance of recovery and I think that has a lot to do with it getting ingrained into your brain. Thing is, it is so hard to admit that you need and are even worthy of help sometimes. And then, who do you go to for help? GP turned me away when mine first started with anorexia and now 9 years later I'm a binge eater and obese. Totally screwed in other words because I'm not thin enough and don't have a "serious enough" problem for someone to help me. :-( Sorry that ed's have caused so many problems. A therapist said to me that he was sent to a ed unit with bulimia and that he was a normal/above weight because of body building, the thing is that any ed is an ed and they take over your life, which is why it's unfair that if overweight it's not seen as an ed. Aww, it's so horrible. I hate eds so much. I am I suppose underweight and am being sent for bloods on the 10th of this month, I am hoping that they come back ok so that I have some leeway to carry on restricting. It's not right but right in my head. I have had eds on and of since I was 14 and am 35 now, it's my life. I hope things improve for you unlucky, and I hope someone does help you. xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted January 4, 2011 Report Share Posted January 4, 2011 (((((Charlotte))))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unlucky Posted January 4, 2011 Report Share Posted January 4, 2011 Thanks ILostCharlotte, I hope things get better for you too someday xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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