Pink stars Posted January 16, 2011 Report Share Posted January 16, 2011 Hi (((everyone))) This week my feelings have been at some of their lowest. I was at work feeling like it hurt to even breathe. Hiding in the toilets crying, avoiding people, feeling like I wanted to self harm, wanted to run away. I had my doctors appointment on Thursday. She diagnosed me with depression in December. She's been talking about signing me off work for a while now but I've always declined. On Thursday I finally let her sign me off, I feel totally on the edge and at breaking point. I've been trying to put it off - being scared of what people at work will think and say, having to actually have people find out I have depression. But this week I have felt so utterly depressed I've got to the point where I don't care who knows and what they think. She's signed me off for a month. I have a friend at work (who is one of the only people in rl who has known about my depression) who has been telling me to continue with work and carry on. For a while I thought she was being a good friend, then I worked out it was actually because she didn't want to go to work without me. I text her Friday to tell her that I've been signed off and she didn't even answer me. I text yesterday and asked her if she could take my sick note in to work for me Monday when she goes in for her shift - she took hours to answer me, hasn't asked how I am and sent her husband in to collect my sick note while she sat out-side in the car. I feel really upset by this, it's just another person who I feel has left me and turned their back. I know with how I feel upsetting things happening can never come at a good time, but this week has been particularly bad. I feel so depressed and so utterly hopeless. Thank you for reading x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted January 16, 2011 Report Share Posted January 16, 2011 pleased you have been signed off, you need this space perhaps she is more afraid of being there without you than you realise perhaps she feels terrible for pushing you before and not realising how poorly you are perhaps she doesnt know what to say so many perhapses that we cannot see when we feel so bad however she is behaving is her responsibility not yours, you have done the right thing got help and taken advice and acted upon it good for you xxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wynter Grace Posted January 16, 2011 Report Share Posted January 16, 2011 I think that it is a positive thing you have been signed off hun, will give you some time and space to sort things out for you (((hugs))) xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol-E Posted January 16, 2011 Report Share Posted January 16, 2011 I agree with the above comments. ((((((hugs)))))) Take the time for yourself, and keep safe. perhaps she is more afraid of being there without you than you realise perhaps she feels terrible for pushing you before and not realising how poorly you are perhaps she doesnt know what to say so many perhapses that we cannot see when we feel so bad however she is behaving is her responsibility not yours, Yep there are so many perhapses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauraw2693 Posted January 16, 2011 Report Share Posted January 16, 2011 Hey hun, I agree with what walker said too there could be many reasons for her behaviour. I am glad you let your doctor sign you off this time, it sounds like you need the rest I really hope things improve soon, I'm always here if you need anything xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jillv Posted January 16, 2011 Report Share Posted January 16, 2011 I'm so sorry pink that you are feeling so low, but pleased that you have been signed off. You need this time off, and if after this month you need more time you musn't feel guilty for taking it. I'm sorry that you feel hurt by your friend's apparent uncaring attitude. Maybe give her a little time, then text her to say how much her friendship means to you. If you need to chat anytime I am always here for you. Take care xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
last_time_lucky Posted January 16, 2011 Report Share Posted January 16, 2011 Don't worry about work or anybody there until you feel a bit better Pink. I've been signed off since September, and like you, it was much needed. Cut yourself some slack (((pinkstars))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saharah Blue Posted January 16, 2011 Report Share Posted January 16, 2011 I think you have done really well to give it every chance to be able to keep going, we don't really have anything like that here, so on top of struggle I have had to resign once in the past. Just take it easy and take good care of yourself. You so deserve it. xoxo Sah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink stars Posted January 16, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 16, 2011 Thankyou so much ((everyone)) your kind words, support and friendship really do mean alot to me and are a great help and comfort xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catsmother21 Posted January 16, 2011 Report Share Posted January 16, 2011 ((((Pink Stars)))) I think you needed some time off and I hope it helps you xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dani Posted January 16, 2011 Report Share Posted January 16, 2011 ((pink)) you need to think of you now and concentrate on getting better. dont be hard on yourself....and u dont need friends like that xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink stars Posted January 17, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 17, 2011 Thank you ((everyone)) x x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lyndseyb2009 Posted January 17, 2011 Report Share Posted January 17, 2011 oh huni, so sorry that things have been so rough for u )= big cuddles!! i agree though it sounds like you need the time off. just use it for yourself (= its such a shame ur friend felt the need to act this way, but perhaps she just doesnt know how to be around you . i know thats shitty, but it does happen. but dont worry about it , its her issue not yours. and dont worry because you have lots of people on here who will always be here for you and who happen to think your amazing!! thinking of you sweetie xoxox Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donnam Posted January 17, 2011 Report Share Posted January 17, 2011 hugs hun so sorry she treats u like this, i think at times like this u find out who your real friends are, in my honest opinion if she was a real friend she would have come in to see how you were. love and hugs cad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink stars Posted January 17, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 17, 2011 Thankyou honeys, your support does mean the world to me and gives me hope x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unlucky Posted January 17, 2011 Report Share Posted January 17, 2011 What sort of a friend does things like that? I think you should try and forget about it for the month, you don't need her and are probably better off without her by the sounds of it. She's got a month to apologise anyways. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fedup! Posted January 17, 2011 Report Share Posted January 17, 2011 Hey lovely Piiiiiiiiiiink xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Just wanted to add this thought: if someone posted on here that they had 'flu or had a migraine or had a broken leg, you would be the first person here to tell them to stay off work until they had healed. Because you are a compassionate, sensible and loving friend. At the moment you're feeling rough and need to time to get well, hun. Take your time, get some rest and when you and your body are ready, you will begin to feel better. It takes time hun, but you will get there. Meantime, people on here will look after you and help you through it.....just as you do for others. I hope we can be as kind to you as you are to us. So! Please get on your sofa, have lots of naps, get fresh air when you can and if you can get hold of a copy, have a watch of It's a Wonderful Life... you know it makes sense!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink stars Posted January 18, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 18, 2011 Thankyou so much everybody, your so good to me and your words and friendship are such a big help, thankyou. x x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wane Posted January 24, 2011 Report Share Posted January 24, 2011 its good you have signed off work for a while. Is it possible your friend also suffers with mental health and maybe finds it easier at work when you are there with someone with similar experience? I dont know sorry but i always tend to see others actions and think whether they themselves have mental health problems and their actions can seem to make more sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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