Maki Posted February 1, 2011 Report Share Posted February 1, 2011 I don't wanna die. But, How can I cope with this pain anymore. I can't see any hope in my life. I can't see any hope in OD or Sh anymore. alcohol can make me high for a short time but its temporary before makes me feel so much pain. What to do more than this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heffalump Posted February 1, 2011 Report Share Posted February 1, 2011 ((((Maki)))) You are such a lovely sweet soul hunny - im so sorry you are suffing so much! ... Really hope you are in a safe place atm ... Please keep strong, even the darkest night has a dawn...., and there is so much happiness out there for you my love... Just have to keep breathing hun. One second at a time.... Have you been to the doctors and talked to them? or anyone close to you that you can trust? think maybe alcohol can sometimes make things worse.. what do you think? here if you ever want to talk hun So many cuddles and loads of love xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benway Posted February 1, 2011 Report Share Posted February 1, 2011 Hiya (((Maki))) I'm sorry you are having a rough time of it lately. I am sorry i have nothing more meaningful to say other than I hope this cloud passes for you, and all of us on here with the blues at the moment. Wishing you well, xxx a.m Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canadianbumble Posted February 1, 2011 Report Share Posted February 1, 2011 Maki= lovely person and should not suffer so = bumble hope you feel better soon soon . sorry me in crap but you lovely ((maki)) 14 which is goood Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unlucky Posted February 1, 2011 Report Share Posted February 1, 2011 I feel exactly the same way. <3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twistedmister Posted February 2, 2011 Report Share Posted February 2, 2011 help other beings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AccidentalBully Posted February 2, 2011 Report Share Posted February 2, 2011 hey maki. you are strong, this is just a shit time. we all have them and doubt ourselves, our worthiness and existence. but when we come through the other side. it was worth it. if you read my post from last few days, you will see i was in a bad place. i'm not out of the woods yet, but my pain is easing. because i decided i want to feel better now. i decided that i have suffered enough. i think you have suffered enough. try to have a good day. it will get better, that the nature of bpd. stick it out babe. i know you can. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maki Posted February 3, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 3, 2011 ((((Maki)))) You are such a lovely sweet soul hunny - im so sorry you are suffing so much! ... Really hope you are in a safe place atm ... Please keep strong, even the darkest night has a dawn...., and there is so much happiness out there for you my love... Just have to keep breathing hun. One second at a time.... Have you been to the doctors and talked to them? or anyone close to you that you can trust? think maybe alcohol can sometimes make things worse.. what do you think? here if you ever want to talk hun So many cuddles and loads of love xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Thank you honey. I talked to 2 people included my auntie. I didn't call doc. I think doc doesn't say anything maybe he just says drink water and lay down I did terrible OD 100 times more like I can't walk and nurse pushed wheelchair to help me to go to the toilet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maki Posted February 3, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 3, 2011 Dear all I am really doing my best all the time. Yes thats truth. I have a confidence but just my mind and body can't move anymore and can't stop. doing doing so much effort and still my everyday is hell. What torture this is.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine001 Posted February 3, 2011 Report Share Posted February 3, 2011 ((((Maki)))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maki Posted February 3, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 3, 2011 Help me Help me Help me Please Help me someone. I wanna breath because of you. I wanna sleep because of you. Help me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heffalump Posted February 3, 2011 Report Share Posted February 3, 2011 (((Maki))) Hunny - is there anyone that you can call just to come be with you? Here for you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maki Posted February 3, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 3, 2011 I wanna drink wine and do OD and wanna go to sleep. so peaceful when I am in deep sleepx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maki Posted February 3, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 3, 2011 (((Maki))) Hunny - is there anyone that you can call just to come be with you? Here for you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx no hun unfortunately I don't have anymore. I miss the feeling my ex gave me but even if I slept 100 more guys no one can give me same peaceful feeling. alone better... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heffalump Posted February 3, 2011 Report Share Posted February 3, 2011 ... darling - i promise - you are worth so much more that that. Has anything in particular happened? Do you want to talk about what you're thinking? Please please keep strong, you are truely such a wonderful soul hunny - so kind and gentle to everyone here... Please keep safe... love xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maki Posted February 3, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 3, 2011 when I was younger I was asking help to my mom but I had to give up otherwise I get hurt more. She is not mother. She is bitch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maki Posted February 3, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 3, 2011 and my dad is much more worse than mom. They really don't care even I tried to suicide. They were laughing. my mom sad to me don't die in my house Die is your dad's house not this place!!! You both go to Hell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heffalump Posted February 3, 2011 Report Share Posted February 3, 2011 she doesnt deserve you as a daughter if she refuses to help you ... You are so beautiful hun - things will get better, and becuase you have been this low, you will find the highest so amazing and appreciate them more then others. I know i keep saying it - but really do believe that because you have gone through so much pain, you are capable of more compassion and understanding then the average person in the world. You're incredible special hunny - just one breath and a time... Here for you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jam-parker Posted February 3, 2011 Report Share Posted February 3, 2011 I don't wanna die. But, How can I cope with this pain anymore. I can't see any hope in my life. I can't see any hope in OD or Sh anymore. alcohol can make me high for a short time but its temporary before makes me feel so much pain. What to do more than this. Maki!! If I asked you to sit with me here for a while, would you? I am here for you now. Jamie xxx. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maki Posted February 3, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 3, 2011 I don't meet dad often but I asked him to see my doc, he kept ignore it. coz he doesn't listen to anything. even thought a lots of SH and suicide behavior. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heffalump Posted February 3, 2011 Report Share Posted February 3, 2011 and my dad is much more worse than mom. They really don't care even I tried to suicide. They were laughing. my mom sad to me don't die in my house Die is your dad's house not this place!!! You both go to Hell ... they really do not deserve you if they can say such things! at all! You're worth so much more xxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maki Posted February 3, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 3, 2011 I asked my mom why my dad was bulling me??? her answer was coz he hates mom. thats why me ?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maki Posted February 3, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 3, 2011 My mom also screamed last year at me " YOU are poison, You are Poison same as your father" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maki Posted February 3, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 3, 2011 but I think who got married with this poison guy? and made kids Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heffalump Posted February 3, 2011 Report Share Posted February 3, 2011 :hug2: Its not right that they are taking their own personal problems and involving you - let alone blaming you for it! ... I know it is impossible to do - but dont even listen to their words - think they are obviously very angry at each other and thus taking it out on you - which is not right... please pay no attention to their words hunny xxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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