hummm_mabbe Posted February 4, 2011 Report Share Posted February 4, 2011 Hi there I just need to have a waffle because the feelings are all cascading and stuff. Got a call today to tell me that I have lost my benefits after my medical review. Felt sad at first, then very scared and angry, even more so because I actually burst into tears in the medical, something which is rare for me. But anyway, that is the outcome, and I was even agreed with when i said that they have "moved the goalposts" - its not that they really think I am better, they just need to get people off benefits to save money, and my area was one of the first to do it. So yeah, angry about that. Scared too. So really thats what this post is about - the next steps. I don't think I will appeal, because to be honest I anticipated this happening and have been preparing myself. I know I am at a stage in therapy where I need new experiences to work with, and I am fed up with always being alone - its just that working again is a big, scary prospect. I shut people out a few years ago because it all just became too painful, and I know I have to go out and start being with that pain again. I know I have some means to deal with it, but its still scary. I'm also scared about whether I will be able to find work. I am going to go to agencies and look at jobs online and things. Not even thinking about interviews yet. To be honest at the moment I am feeling more driven by panic than anything else. I don't know, could ultimately be a good thing. Ross Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boobsticle Posted February 4, 2011 Report Share Posted February 4, 2011 I'm so sorry to hear this Ross, and I'm afraid it'll be a sign of things to come and that a lot of us here will be affected by it I have no advice at all, just wanted to wish you luck. Perhaps something good will come of it in the end, who knows. Good luck though, really hope it works out for you somehow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted February 4, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 4, 2011 Hi Arrakis Ta for the wordy hug Well I've just booked myself a haircut, going to go into town and buy some trousers and possibly shoes so that I don't look like a vagrant anymore ... thankfully got some xmas vouchers to spend that on. My therapist is being very nice and has said she can offer me a minimal fee to keep going to therapy if I am stuck on JSA, like £10 a session, so at least I won't totally lose that. TBH I am hoping I can just find a job quickly. I guess as you say, best to try to look for the positive. Ross Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowman Posted February 4, 2011 Report Share Posted February 4, 2011 Rossy I am sorry to hear about your medical outcome. I am pleased you are trying to be positive - it shows how far you have come. And I am glad you can continue T. But the system sucks and so many people are finding themself in your position. Always a plan to ask for a copy of your medical report just to make sure there are no errors - just write to your DWP office and they will send it you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boobsticle Posted February 4, 2011 Report Share Posted February 4, 2011 Good that you can embark in a bit of retail therapy and that was really nice of your T. I actually know a few people who work in your industry... they're mostly document people but if you wanted I could ask if there are any spots for your line of work? If that's what you're planning on pursuing, and if you want of course. Just an offer :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DJJK Posted February 4, 2011 Report Share Posted February 4, 2011 Sorry to hear this - it's not good - had a similar situation myself 2 or 3 years ago...despite psych reports which conveniently got lost. Be wishing you the best of luck man...hope all pans out ok for you. Kx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dani Posted February 4, 2011 Report Share Posted February 4, 2011 so glad your therapist is being so helpful. sorry to hear you lost your benefits!massive hug. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauraw2693 Posted February 4, 2011 Report Share Posted February 4, 2011 Sorry to hear your medical didn't go well I hope something good does come out of it though, and it's great your therapist is being supportive.. Will you get any help with finding work? Can you go to Pathways or somewhere similar? xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benway Posted February 4, 2011 Report Share Posted February 4, 2011 Hullo Ross, I am sorry to read this - but admire your positive-y attitude to it, tho there is some fear underneath. I was not aware of them 'moving the goalposts' in the uk with regard to benefits. I certainly think they could do it better - to go from drs / therapy and lots of free time to potentially working a full time is a HUGE change. Its really good of your T to offer to see you at reduced rate, i agree. And I understand you wanting to have new experiences, to 're-integrate' into society. In fact i think you are very brave to have taken it on the chin and made plans to buy shoes/trousers etc. It shows how far you have come in recovery. I don't know what way things work in the UK- but could you get a p/t job & still rec some govt aid? Wishing you the very best. xxx Kitteh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catsmother21 Posted February 4, 2011 Report Share Posted February 4, 2011 ((Ross)) sorry that this has happened. I hope everything works out for you xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dibley Posted February 4, 2011 Report Share Posted February 4, 2011 They stopped my benefits for 3 months once. Still don't really know why. I was scared, I had money that needed to come out my bank, I had nothing, no savings. I'm sure they'll stop them again soon. They don't understand that there aren't any jobs out there. I hate the job centre. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted February 4, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 4, 2011 Rossy I am sorry to hear about your medical outcome. I am pleased you are trying to be positive - it shows how far you have come. And I am glad you can continue T. But the system sucks and so many people are finding themself in your position. Always a plan to ask for a copy of your medical report just to make sure there are no errors - just write to your DWP office and they will send it you. Hi there I think I am going to just stick to the positive side of it, listen to the bit of me that seems to be happy at the idea of moving on, and espcially having some money. I know there are others here that work and manage their condition, everyone is at different stages in their illness, so maybe I am at a stage now where its time to open up to things even though they are scary. Easy to say I know .... Ross Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted February 4, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 4, 2011 Good that you can embark in a bit of retail therapy and that was really nice of your T. I actually know a few people who work in your industry... they're mostly document people but if you wanted I could ask if there are any spots for your line of work? If that's what you're planning on pursuing, and if you want of course. Just an offer Oo what do you mean by document people? I guess the areas I am looking to go into would be something Junior in mechanical engineering, but would most like to go into engineering design. The requirements for the latter are a bit catch 22 though - you need experience before they will employ you and I don't tick all the boxes Not badly off for the former though ... Didnt go and buy trousers in the end, decided to go for a walk :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted February 4, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 4, 2011 Sorry to hear this - it's not good - had a similar situation myself 2 or 3 years ago...despite psych reports which conveniently got lost. Be wishing you the best of luck man...hope all pans out ok for you. Kx Yeah it kinna strikes me as odd that they dont factor the views of a psychiatrist or therapist into the equation. That said thinking of that line of things just makes me angry again! Trying to feel a bit chill about things, though will gladly watch someone pummel David CAmeron's face in :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted February 4, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 4, 2011 so glad your therapist is being so helpful. sorry to hear you lost your benefits!massive hug. xxx Yeah makes it a bit better to know have got people on my side as it were Ta for snuggles Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted February 4, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 4, 2011 Sorry to hear your medical didn't go well I hope something good does come out of it though, and it's great your therapist is being supportive.. Will you get any help with finding work? Can you go to Pathways or somewhere similar? xx I get the impression that they are literally cutting me loose, because I scored zero on the assessment. So they are literally sticking me on JSA. TBH it makes little odds - pathways up here is essentially a name and nothing else - the 'help' they offer is as good as useless, so I was already of the thinking that this would literally be a 'you're on your own pal' if it happened. So its just gonna be make CV, apply for jobs. In a way it simplifies it - no relying on someone from the job centre, who basically arent really there to help anyway (pardon my cynicism). Ross Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saharah Blue Posted February 4, 2011 Report Share Posted February 4, 2011 You definitely have people here on your side, when I was first dx'd here they told me did not qualify for benefits (US), since I was too high functioning. So after 6months of living off my credit cards I went back to work part time. Now I am looking for full time work and all the fears you have voiced resonate so loud and clear, and the end of the day I am damn scared. I too try to tell myself it will pass I won't be scared forever, life is always changing and with it possibilities are born and although I really do believe it, the fear creeps back in. Just keep posting about it as you work through, you don't have to have a positive fix for a life changing situation all in one day. ((hugs to you)) Sah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted February 4, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 4, 2011 Hullo Ross, I am sorry to read this - but admire your positive-y attitude to it, tho there is some fear underneath. I was not aware of them 'moving the goalposts' in the uk with regard to benefits. I certainly think they could do it better - to go from drs / therapy and lots of free time to potentially working a full time is a HUGE change. Its really good of your T to offer to see you at reduced rate, i agree. And I understand you wanting to have new experiences, to 're-integrate' into society. In fact i think you are very brave to have taken it on the chin and made plans to buy shoes/trousers etc. It shows how far you have come in recovery. I don't know what way things work in the UK- but could you get a p/t job & still rec some govt aid? Wishing you the very best. xxx Kitteh Yeah since we had the recession and the coalition government, they drew up plans to slash the deficit - which with a conservative majority means attacking those on benefits first. Its part of the reason people are calling Nick Clegg, a Liberal Democrat, a sell-out, because their manifestos always had a big emphasis on welfare and instead they re-classified who was "capable for work" by making the criteria tougher. Anyways, whats done is done, CBA with the politics as they are all a bunch of a-holes i think I am just going to find something full time and see how I handle it. I think its going to be the only way to move on - to get out of my comfort zone and then learn how to cope. Jump in at the deep end type approach. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted February 4, 2011 Report Share Posted February 4, 2011 sorry this has happend admire your attitude find it very disconcerting that we are expected to trust the pdocs/t with our lives almost, and yet it seems these d*cks cant/wont trust them very scary system we live in fear of it we had to do pathways 2 yrs ago omg sweet woman but total waste of time with her and helpful comments (she was v depressed and lots of family probs - yes she told me) like 'im not one of those who sits around doing nothing' yeah thanks for that, helped loads really do hope all the best for you in this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted February 4, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 4, 2011 ((Ross)) sorry that this has happened. I hope everything works out for you xx Ta cats I am trying to just think of the super powerful computer I can buy and play games on as a result of having money Ross Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted February 4, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 4, 2011 They stopped my benefits for 3 months once. Still don't really know why. I was scared, I had money that needed to come out my bank, I had nothing, no savings. I'm sure they'll stop them again soon. They don't understand that there aren't any jobs out there. I hate the job centre. Hopefully things will be a bit different for you. If you have an assessment, a word of advice: Make it seem 500 times worse than it is and dont mention any positives at all. I think the mistake I made was attempting to look on the bright side in places! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowman Posted February 4, 2011 Report Share Posted February 4, 2011 Ross pls ask for a copy of your report just to check it out for errors - Id hate you to not have ESA if you should. Also did you send letters from psych, gp etc with your form? I know you wanna move on and be positive but the system sucks and I did so much research on this stuff and just want to be sure I look out for my mates. :rolleyes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted February 4, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 4, 2011 You definitely have people here on your side, when I was first dx'd here they told me did not qualify for benefits (US), since I was too high functioning. So after 6months of living off my credit cards I went back to work part time. Now I am looking for full time work and all the fears you have voiced resonate so loud and clear, and the end of the day I am damn scared. I too try to tell myself it will pass I won't be scared forever, life is always changing and with it possibilities are born and although I really do believe it, the fear creeps back in. Just keep posting about it as you work through, you don't have to have a positive fix for a life changing situation all in one day. ((hugs to you)) Sah Hi Sah Its a good point, seeing stuff as impermanent, even the bad stuff will rise and pass etc. i think thats the one thing thats making me feel positive about it all - the idea of treating each moment of pain that might come as just another moment, to be dealt with in the same way. I think also I have taken such a lot of pressure off myself regarding performance and achievement, again the buddhism stuff has helped there. I think for most of my life I have been trying to be 'good enough' or basically worthy by achieving things, becoming a person with 'the right stuff'. Doing well at work was my way of being simply good enough as a person, and that created such pressure. I wouldnt say thats totally gone, but I feel i can see it more clearly. It doesnt feel quite so terrifying that I might not get a job thats super duper high flying anymore, so I am more chill about whatever it is I will end up doing. Just keep letting go more and more I guess, seems to be helping :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boobsticle Posted February 4, 2011 Report Share Posted February 4, 2011 Good that you can embark in a bit of retail therapy and that was really nice of your T. I actually know a few people who work in your industry... they're mostly document people but if you wanted I could ask if there are any spots for your line of work? If that's what you're planning on pursuing, and if you want of course. Just an offer Oo what do you mean by document people? I guess the areas I am looking to go into would be something Junior in mechanical engineering, but would most like to go into engineering design. The requirements for the latter are a bit catch 22 though - you need experience before they will employ you and I don't tick all the boxes Not badly off for the former though ... Didnt go and buy trousers in the end, decided to go for a walk Where did you walk to? bit wet for it Documenty people in the oil industry. I dunno what they do, I just imagine they sit rolling around on oil drums all day. I don't know if they could have any contacts but if they did and there was some kind of niche for you to pop into with an application, I could let you know if you wanted me to enquire. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canadianbumble Posted February 4, 2011 Report Share Posted February 4, 2011 aw 9((((humme)) admiration to you for strength. Any consolation i'd employ you no question can yuo try shaw trust or mental health thing to help you back into work they can find out allsorts of finacial things you may be entitled to that you did not know and can help with cv's interview rights etc. good luck bumble Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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