steph.mcg Posted February 7, 2011 Report Share Posted February 7, 2011 i have a habit where i pick spots and then they scab and then i pick at the scabs. i don't really know why i do it but i do. sometimes i even do it without realising. i know that i dont like having the spots and id rather get rid of them, but picking them makes them scab and then i want rid of the scab so i pick that and i kinda know that it wont help in the long run but i still do it. sometimes i do it when im bored, sometimes when im anxious, sometimes when im concentrating. i can be sat in front of the tele doing it. my housemate always tells me i shouldnt and i know i shouldnt. but i do. sometimes i try and stop but i have to finish picking what im picking before i can try to not do it again. sometimes i even do it at university and it can leave red patches and sometimes even makes me bleed and then i feel really self concious. i know i shouldnt but i cant seem to stop. i never considered it a form of self harm until my friend brought it up and ever since then i've been asking myself is that what it is???? please can you try and help??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrippleAndStarfish Posted February 7, 2011 Report Share Posted February 7, 2011 Hiya hun, just a quick reply as brain is a bit mushy this evening. I do this too, often when i'm in/just got out of the bath. It could be a form of self-harm, yes, or it could be OCD-related. Will come back to this once I've calmed meself down a bit hunni. xxxx EDIT: to add - For me, I have these bump things on the tops of my legs, and I just can't stand seeing them, or even knowing that they're there, so I pick at them, which obv makes them worse, then will pick again.... etc etc. It's frustrating, however, I have found that I CAN sometimes distract myself when the urge arises - I will cover up and then absorb myself in drawing/writing/painting, anything that keeps my hands busy. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
last_time_lucky Posted February 7, 2011 Report Share Posted February 7, 2011 I am exactly the same... I think mine airs on the side of OCD as I can't bear to have the scab/dry skin on me... But this means it looks worse and takes longer to heal. My face is a right old mess at the moment. I wish I could just leave them alone. I sometimes get sores in my head/hair too... Which I pick at loads till I have big holes on my scalp (attractive?!) it's a nervous thing I think... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poiple Posted February 7, 2011 Report Share Posted February 7, 2011 I pick just as you've described and I've been told it's a form of self harm even though it's not always conscious. I've no idea how to stop it though! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flygirl38 Posted February 7, 2011 Report Share Posted February 7, 2011 Yep I do the same thing..I pick instead of cut. Its always been my coping mechanism. I have really tried to cut back and the dbt therapy is really helping also. Hugs to you and hopefully maybe we can one day nip that habit in the bud. It takes alot of time and energy though:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mentary Posted February 7, 2011 Report Share Posted February 7, 2011 Same here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow girl Posted February 7, 2011 Report Share Posted February 7, 2011 It is a form of self harm. I do it too and pull the skin off from round my finger nails. I'd never thought of it as SH because its something i do when I'm anxious and I don't realise I'm doing it till its quite severe. It was my psych said it was SH after I'd done it rather badly during an appointment where he's asked what SH I do and I told him all I culd theink of but not that. That's when he passed me a tissue to clean up and said "that's self harm too!" I don't know how you stop though. Its tricky to not do something you didn't realise you were doing when you started. I'm hoping DBT will help when I eventually get to do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steph.mcg Posted February 7, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 7, 2011 well it's always nice to hear you aren't alone! what frustrates me more is i started doing it while i was reading all the replies!!!!!!!!! grrrrrrrrrr but i do appreciate all the support. crippie, i would love to cover up and try and get involved in something else but i can't because its my face and neck that i mainly pick at, and although i was just thinking about maybe a scarf which would cover my neck i can't cover my face. my friend always jokes that shes gonna get me mittens....would i look seriously odd if i wore gloves all the time???? cos at the moment thats all that i can think of!! i don't really like the idea of it being self harm... =( quite a few years ago i cut myself a couple times but then accidentally got really heavy handed and ended up at A&E and since then never did it again. i'd sometimes pull my hair or dig my nails into my hand or whatever but recognise what i was doing. and it wasnt a constant thing just when i was having a particularly bad time it'd be a kind of one off. but this i didn't even recognise as being self harm and i dont like that. and it makes me feel worse knowing that actually ive been self harming all this time. but whats worse than that is its such a 'normal' thing that i do now i dont know if i can stop.... also...what exactly is DBT?? lol sorry but it's been brought up a couple times now and im really not sure xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine001 Posted February 7, 2011 Report Share Posted February 7, 2011 Oh dear, not something I talk about much but I pick my toes so bad they bleed and I can't walk without it being painful. Its worse when stressed but done it for years and years. Skin picking is called Dermatillomania or something like that, linked to OCD, which I have none of and yes its a form of self harm. But it is possible to stop and web has lots of interesting stuff about it. Don't have DBT in my area so leave it to someone else to tell you about this xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steph.mcg Posted February 7, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 7, 2011 well i looked that up and from the quick look ive had it sounds about right... not sure sure if i see that as a good thing or a bad thing... i just brought it up with my boyfriend and he was just like no i dont think you have that. i asked why not and he said well i dont think what you do is as severe as that, i think you just do it out of habit. is that possible or is he just totally not understanding?? to be fair hes not always very good with my issues, and thats what im feeling right now. i just wanna make sure that im not being silly. sorry i keep going on =( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poiple Posted February 8, 2011 Report Share Posted February 8, 2011 Hi Amethyst, It's interesting to hear youmentipn hair pulling. I have diagnosed trichotillomania and have been since I was 11. I've never been properly diagnosed with dermatillomania but I pick excessively and have lesions on my arms and feet. When I was younger I had a therapist who wanted to "test the urge" of my hair pulling and so he tied my hands down and said things to make me want to pull my hair and I had a physical fit (convulsions, etc. similar to that of epilepsy). So it is a very real illness. I unfortunately haven't found anything that stops it yet but I know people have. I'll list some suggestions given to me incase they help you, but it sounds like you are like me where it can sometimes be unconscious so it's difficult to use these methods: - use an elastic band and twang it every time you get the urge - rub a necklace/earrings/bracelet that you are wearing - write - occupy your hands while doing dormant activities like watching tv - general distraction I would ignore your boyfriend and ask you doctor! Unless he's a doctor he can't really diagnose you! Poiple x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrippleAndStarfish Posted February 8, 2011 Report Share Posted February 8, 2011 crippie, i would love to cover up and try and get involved in something else but i can't because its my face and neck that i mainly pick at, and although i was just thinking about maybe a scarf which would cover my neck i can't cover my face. my friend always jokes that shes gonna get me mittens....would i look seriously odd if i wore gloves all the time???? cos at the moment thats all that i can think of!! Have you thought about getting a light moisturiser - one that won't irritate your skin - that you can rub on instead of picking when you get the urge? That way, you're still faffing with it, but it's not damaging. Obviously would have to be careful with broken skin, as some won't be suitable, but I know you can get some which are fine for use on sore/damaged/broken skin so perhaps have a nosey see what you can find? Or perhaps a cold damp flannel to place on to soothe? As for wearing gloves all the time, I think in the colder months could pull it off, but when it gets round to summer... Maybe that is something you could use as a short-term deterrent, though. Also, if you've not already, keep anti-septic stuff on hand, keep damage to a minimum Oh! Just had a thought - if you put hand cream on frequently, then it will make it harder for you to pick and fingers/nails will struggle to get hold. That's what I do to stop me picking at times, cause me hands slip and slide all over the place, so I just throw a strop and give up. Could work for you xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steph.mcg Posted February 10, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2011 thanks poiple and crippie you've got some good ideas, i actually really like the moisturiser idea. Some times when ive been picking at my lips i'll put lip balm on to help, dont know why i never thought to translate that into moisturiser for my skin. and crippie, while i do sometimes do it without realising i sometimes notice part way through or my friend will point out when im doing it so even if i stop it half way through its better than not stopping at all. so i'll give these ideas a go. thanks guys =) much love xxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madds Posted February 14, 2011 Report Share Posted February 14, 2011 my dad does this and said it is self harm. i cant cope when he does it to my dog though.that isnt self harm is it? if he hurts my dog i cant feel sympathy for him,i just cant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anabas Posted February 14, 2011 Report Share Posted February 14, 2011 I do this, mainly on my face. I have made a right mess this past week and then spend ages trying to cover it up. I've never thought of it as self harm, more of a compulsion that I cannot leave any bump/imperfection on my skin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narcissa Posted February 14, 2011 Report Share Posted February 14, 2011 I don't think that's a form of self harm, personally. But it might be for you. I think almost everyone that has spots do exactly the same thing. It's like it can't be helped. People do it absent mindedly or when they're stressed or worried. I think it's perfectly normal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted February 14, 2011 Report Share Posted February 14, 2011 Its one of those things that has this weird balance of pain and pleasure. Its like you run your hand over your face, feel the bump or hair, and there is this sense of knowing how good it will feel to get rid of it, feel it flake off. But there's also that little bit of panic in there too - "OMG, I've got a spot, spots are bad!". You have a pick, or a squeeze, and ahhhhh relief. With human beings, we tend to want to get away from pain and towards pleasure - they tend to drive pretty much everything we do, and with skin picking its like this microcosm of all that, this titanic battle being played out in our fingers I think some of the stuff that DBT teaches about distress tolerance is helpful here - being able to stand that horrible feeling of not doing the thing, or the pain of denying yourself the pleasure of doing it. When you really look closely at what happens at the moment you get the urge to pick, this is pretty much whats going on - this interplay of "does it feel nice or bad; It feels bad, it'll feel better if I do it". The immediate relief is more important than the long term fear of what this might do to your skin, and I think human beings are like that in many ways. The demands of the moment usually outweigh the long term ones - a good reason for going for the choccy bar even when we want to be on a diet. It'll feel good now - and the diet is just a hazy concept with some far-off future implications. We seem to have evolved that way for a reason, probably because it meant we went for the food or the useful thing as and when we saw it, but its a tendency with its up and downsides. I think that shares some similarities with OCD - if the person doesnt do the thing they need to do, they feel physically horrible until they do it. Nearly every type of therapy ultimately comes down to facing pain, with a new attitude of caring or a support that was not there before. The hard part is how much pain you have to face to do something different, which can be a little or a lot. Ross Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sammycrazy Posted February 14, 2011 Report Share Posted February 14, 2011 I do this to !!! never realised it was SH i also chew and pick the skin around my fingernails and have since i was a child, I am also SH with blades etc but I try really hard not to and only do it where it cant be seen x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sean-Ormonde Posted February 14, 2011 Report Share Posted February 14, 2011 I do all of this too, if it's to the extent where you're causing severe physical harm to yourself it might be an idea to take serious steps towards stopping it. For me it's pretty mild and although I know I should stop it's not going to be massively detrimental to me if I don't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magic Wand Posted February 15, 2011 Report Share Posted February 15, 2011 I have a habit of doing this too until my scabs bleed i have never thought of it of SH though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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