Benway Posted February 9, 2011 Report Share Posted February 9, 2011 Hiyaz, I have been allright for the past month- since I was put on Prothiaden -Dothepin, (a tricyclic anti-d) and its way cool to be 'trusted' by the psych team. I am not sui at all. I started keeping the house clean, got my wheely bins sorted & disability all/ bus & train pass, plus spending time with my older son, I teach him English studies - he teaches me how to play Poker . He is here mon-fri, and prolly 2 nights stays over. I have even cleaned 2 bedrooms so my Son and a friend can stay over the same night. Just 1 room left to cln in the house. I had the flu for over a week, in fact i am just over it today properly. It didn't help my mood tho ---TRIG---- intrusive thoughts--- Say i am walking downstairs, i think , oh, if i fell in the house alone- and i 'picture' myself falling and ending up at the bottom of the stairs with my leg broken and the bone sticking out. (or something else equally horrible) Or i am walking along the road home (a pretty narrow 'countryish' road and i see a truck.. I think of what would happen if it came off the bend and walloped into me - that i could have 3 minutes left to live... When I am out at road junctions etc I *see* the same kind of thing happenning. Its starting to really freak me out now, everywhere I am I assess the possibility of a horrible freak accident happenning and imagine myself badly injured, dying, fading away. I read somewhere that people who are going to die soon know about it, have a sense of it, and this freaks me out even more!!! Does anyone else ever think like this? I only get it when out alone, or home alone. I have such horrible pictures and scenarios in my head- I try not to dwell on them, but they still go round & 'round. But it is very scary and freaky and vivid. Anyone relate??? Best wishes to all, kitteh xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dani Posted February 9, 2011 Report Share Posted February 9, 2011 i can totally relate.jeez thought it was just me. i have the same thoughts...to do with the cars.i also imagine im throwing myself in front of them. weird. anyhow your not alone xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benway Posted February 9, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 9, 2011 Hiya DaisyDuck, Thanks for answering. I really thought I was on my own with this - I am kind of relieved you answered- not that i am 'glad' you have these same thoughts , i am glad someone relates. Thanks for replying - much appreciated. xxx Take good care, anne marie xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unlucky Posted February 10, 2011 Report Share Posted February 10, 2011 I kind of get the same thing, I get pictures of myself committing suicide, whether I am suicidal at the time or not. It's quite upsetting at times. It doesn't really matter whether I am alone or not, but I actually had the same thing about "falling" down the stairs a few times last night. I told my psychiatrist but he didn't say anything. :wacko: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pepsimeg Posted February 10, 2011 Report Share Posted February 10, 2011 I get these thoughts alot too always some nasty accident of thought of ending it even tho im not suicidal :ashamed0005: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unlucky Posted February 10, 2011 Report Share Posted February 10, 2011 Just looked on wikipedia; Inappropriate aggressive thoughtsIntrusive thoughts may involve violent obsessions about hurting others or themselves.[16] They can include such thoughts as harming an innocent child, jumping from a bridge, mountain or the top of a tall building, urges to jump in front of a train or automobile, and urges to push another in front of a train or automobile.[4] Rachman's survey of healthy college students found that virtually all of them had intrusive thoughts from time to time, including:[6] Causing harm to elderly people Imagining or wishing harm upon someone close to one's self Impulses to violently attack, hit, harm or kill a person, small child, or animal Impulses to shout at or abuse someone, or attack and violently punish someone, or say something rude, inappropriate, nasty or violent to someone. These thoughts are part of being human, and need not ruin the quality of life.[17] Treatment is available when the thoughts are associated with OCD and become persistent, severe, or distressing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowman Posted February 10, 2011 Report Share Posted February 10, 2011 intrusive thoughts are horrible, I have them too, about me, my boy or my husband. they really disturb me but I have been reassured that they are not foretelling the future or that I will act on them, so I try to hold on to that. sending safe hugs to you ((((((kitteh))))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benway Posted February 10, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2011 Hi and thank you for more replies! Unlucky, thanks for having a wiki for me- funny that,describe's somethin else that happenned last week- i was standing in the queue of the local supermarket, stressed out, and took an instant dislike to the person in front of me-(for using a credit card to buy milk & thus holding *me* up) i was holding a jar of strawberry jam and i kept 'seeing' myself smash her accross the head with it. These thoughts are really starting to freak me out - they are so graphic, esp the ones about harming others or having a horrible accident in the house / street. I don't drive anymore over this stuff, and anx in general. Thanks for the info Unlucky. So you get it too? When in ny, i got really strong thoughts in the subway, lots of things that you put i think regularly. I have an ok psych now but never mentioned these to him. Snow & Emogirl, sorry you have them also. Thank you for replying. I agree, they are very distressing and make anxiety worse. I really hope they do not fortell the future, Too superstitious for me own good. Thanks for the hugs too (((friends))) Best wishes, a.m xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drybones Posted February 10, 2011 Report Share Posted February 10, 2011 Yes, I experience same its always when I'm alone. I have very vivid dreams like this too. They wake me up feeling very anxious and shaken. I have to force myself to concentrate hard on something like reading to get rid of the unpleasent thoughts. Very distressing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benway Posted February 10, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2011 Hiya drybones, Yea- I only get them when alone too. I have a friend who stays 1/2 nights, and my son stays about the same, so about 3 nights a week i am annoyed by them. I am lucky my friend is here now watching tv. Dreams- i get nightmares always based in my hometown, my dad is dead 3 yrs now and I dream if i complete some task in the dream i can restore his health - he is always ill in the dream. Same as you, I feel half-freaked for most of the next day. Thanks for your reply, take care, kitteh xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unlucky Posted February 11, 2011 Report Share Posted February 11, 2011 If/when it gets to the point where I can't cope with them any more, or I seriously think I am going to follow through with any of the thoughts, that's when I'm going to ask for help from my CPN because I trust her most. If you don't want to say anything to your psych now, maybe you should plan to do the same. It is very frightening. I think I read somewhere that it helps to focus on the opposite of what the thought is, so if you are going to bash the person in front of you over the head with a jam jar, imagine yourself hugging the person and buying the jam as a present for them instead. Or something like that. I haven't atually tried it, it's probably the kind of think you don't think about until afterwards, but wanted to tell you anyways. I don't think you should worry about it telling the future, I've not really heard of that sort of belief before in any kind of spiritual way, apart from dreams coming true, which I don't believe anyway. And, as my CPN would say, the more you worry about it, the worse/stronger the thoughts will get. I know it's easy to say that, but I do try not to dwell on what they are and the reasons for them etc. too much. Being unable to stop thinking them in the first place is enough. <3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zokatha Posted February 20, 2011 Report Share Posted February 20, 2011 Hey there. Just read all the replies. i get simalir thoughts, but more about myself in a situation where my life is inflicted, not by anyone but myself. im not a suicidal person but i get it everyday. a few months ago i started getting horrible dreams. they dont always happen, ive never really had frequent nightmares but i often dream of people being killed, or of myself dying and it really puts a dent in everyday life, because after i have them i cant help but think of them all day. i hope everything gets better for everyone. best of wishes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fuegoblanco Posted February 22, 2011 Report Share Posted February 22, 2011 Stop watching tv. Especially the news. Ever noticed how you hardly see anything positive on the news????? Your subconscious takes all of that in & this is a great example of the kind of fucked up thoughts that follow. Violent movies & video games contribute to this thought pattern hugely too. Violence is a BIG part of the world these days so I wouldn't be surprised by these thoughts at all. Get that shit out of your life! It's useless. Also Anti d's have been proven to cause suicidal thoughts. Do your best to get off them! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unlucky Posted February 22, 2011 Report Share Posted February 22, 2011 Also Anti d's have been proven to cause suicidal thoughts. Do your best to get off them! They are different for everyone. They save lives. I wouldn't be without mine, even though I'm not sure they make a huge difference. And they cannot prove it because people who are taking anti-depressants usually have depression anyway, which causes suicidal thoughts. Sometimes people feel worse when they start taking them but who knows whether or not they would have started to feel worse anyway? If you think it is the tablets, then ask whoever prescribed them to let you come off them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benway Posted February 22, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 22, 2011 Hi and thank you again for all your replies. The thoughts have stopped , maybe because my son is here a lot more now - i am not alone so much. Unlucky thanks for your ideas , and support. I think i was a lil on the 'paranoid' side, thence believing i was 'having premeninitions' (sp?) - looking back, i can see that it was my mind playing tricks on me. Zokatha, ty for your reply, sorry you get such distressing ideas. I hate that feeling of a bad dream being with you all day, almost like it was real. White Fire - I don't really watch tv, for that same reason,-i do watch comedy shows, and the few games i do play e.g. "animal crossing" are all cert "U" - i.e for any age group. I do watch the Irish news at 6 daily, but that is to keep up with the General Election here on Friday. I see your point though. My councellor scolded me before for watching youtube vids on the illuminati before bed!! I have stopped doing that.. I know that whatever one is thinking, has an effect on how one is feeling, and i agree with you as regards violence in the media. About anti- depressants, yea i know where you are coming from with that. I have read a lot of the stuff abut anti-dep causing suicide in healthy young ppl, I have read Peter Breggans book Toxic Psychiatry, and indeed once subscribed to the same school of thought that you do presently. I take a tri-cyclic anti-d, only started it in the new year, but I REALLY NEEDED it. I know of the evils of big pharma, but i also know of the evils of scientology who are saying that 'all psych meds are bad'. For me it was my choice to ask to go back on an anti-d, and i use a half tablet - 12.5mg of seroquel also when i have 'racing thoughts' . I think that using a small amount of an anti-psychotic a few times a month is a risk which i have weighed up, and I am prepared to take, the same with the anti-depressants. "Also Anti d's have been proven to cause suicidal thoughts. Do your best to get off them! " I'm sorry but i think that this is just scare-mongering, a la 'Church of Scientology" or whatever 'organisation' they call themselves- the "Citizens Commission on Human Rights (CCHR)" is one. I'm glad the intrusive thoughts have gone - and ty to everyone ((peepls)) xxx anne marie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toaster Posted February 22, 2011 Report Share Posted February 22, 2011 hey there totally relate. i see myself being run over by trains, buses, truck, falling down the stairs etc etc. i have images of people being dead. i fear the dead so this is what i see. i see them in my dreams, ghosts coming to get me, laughing at me. i see myself stabbing myself as well. like u say im glad im not alone in this and thanx for starting the topic. sorry u are having a hard time ((((((((kitteh)))))))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jades Posted February 22, 2011 Report Share Posted February 22, 2011 hey anne marie love xxx i've often had the same but i started thinking when it's happening for the most part i'm just frustrated and as insane as it sounds i wonder if it's because life is getting better and my mind is so used to chaos that i need to imagine it in my head to have something to stress about.... silly i know but coming up with that realization for me has kinda killed the stress over those thoughts hope that it helps u as well and everyonelse who has this going on , well worked for me anyway. give it a shot maybe? loads of love xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fuegoblanco Posted February 23, 2011 Report Share Posted February 23, 2011 I can only speak for myself but I never want to have drugs in my system again. IMO Your mind & body is telling you that the way you live & think is not working. By taking drugs you are denying those feelings and betraying your true self. Your human self! Taking drugs is a way of conforming to what everyone else wants you to be. We have to stop being scared of what we are. I'm not scare mongering & I have never been a part of the church of scientology or what they practice. I just strongly believe that as long as people are taking drugs to get along we have no chance of getting anywhere as human beings. We are simply blocking off reality to conform to a world someone else has built. A world in which obviously millions upon millions of people are not happy with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benway Posted February 23, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 23, 2011 When you say 'drugs' you mean Meds . Is that you, Frances? So do yuo think i should come off me meds then? That we all should? :blink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fuegoblanco Posted February 24, 2011 Report Share Posted February 24, 2011 Yes meds. And yes I believe anyone who is on meds should do their best to get off them. I'm done. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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