roxy222 Posted February 12, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 12, 2011 yes i appriciate this applies to more than just this situation, recently and in the past, and i appriciate im not blameless in that sometimes, sometimes stating the truth can feel more important than how the other person must feel. but when theres serveral people all having a go at one.... duno, just doesnt sit comfortabley. and the hypocracy of people being abusive, on both sides, and then telling the other person its their fault. none of this feels right, and i think maybe we underestimate the effect of the group dynamics because how must this feel if it were rl with 1 person, however much at fault, feeling ganged up on by 5 or 10 or 20 like happens here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littleweed71 Posted February 12, 2011 Report Share Posted February 12, 2011 i've deliberately not posted to some threads as i feel becoming involved in an argument is v. detrimental to my mh. that said i will offer a listening ear to anybody on this forum whether i agree with them or not. everybody can talk to me but i will NOT get involved in name calling or personal insults of any kind. you've ALL helped me when i've had crisis points in my life and now that i'm relatively stable i want to return the favour. if you don't like what has been said please reply without the personal attacks as this HARMS EVERYBODY i like to treat peeps with respect at all times and name calling just lowers us to the level of normals who don't care who they hurt and i think that we've all been hurt enough thanks for listening to my rant i'll just go and cool off now nic :mad0233: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maize Posted February 12, 2011 Report Share Posted February 12, 2011 I think name calling is petty in the scheme of things when a group gangs up on an individual and that individual finally breaks and uses bad or angry language and calls names. WTF do you expect? When a group of people jumps an individual while false claims are also being made as well, it would infuriate anyone to the point of petty name calling. So what!! Grow up to the people who are behaving like they're still in grammar school! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jam-parker Posted February 12, 2011 Report Share Posted February 12, 2011 I think name calling is petty in the scheme of things when a group gangs up on an individual and that individual finally breaks and uses bad or angry language and calls names. WTF do you expect? When a group of people jumps an individual while false claims are also being made as well, it would infuriate anyone to the point of petty name calling. So what!! Grow up to the people who are behaving like they're still in grammar school! ... :S Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maize Posted February 12, 2011 Report Share Posted February 12, 2011 You can mock what I say if you want to Moondragon but I have a right to say how I feel about it and whether you want to hear it or not is of no consequence to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rmorgan_uk Posted February 12, 2011 Report Share Posted February 12, 2011 can we please get back to some seblence of getting along i know we all have conflics from time to time. i got involved in this one and probably shouldnt have. but you cant turn back the clock on what has happened. we have to try and put it behind us. weather that be by apologising to each other. or simply keeping out of each others way. i am at fault for not leaving it alone A:in the first place B:when i had the chance to walk away getting angry and bitting back at an already hostile situation. others are at fault to on all sides but starting to try and aportion blame to anyone person i frankly pointless. as far as im concerned this argument should be over and done with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TizzyGirl Posted February 12, 2011 Report Share Posted February 12, 2011 Yeah you have a right to say how you feel Maize. However you don't have the right to call people names. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TizzyGirl Posted February 12, 2011 Report Share Posted February 12, 2011 others are at fault to on all sides but starting to try and aportion blame to anyone person i frankly pointless. as far as im concerned this argument should be over and done with. Agreed! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roxy222 Posted February 12, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 12, 2011 its not about blame, its about people being acountable so as not to repeat the same patterns that get people hurt and ruin the forum and for the record no one has the right to call people names or be abusive, maize was not the only person doing so and the people who did it back told her it was her fault, which is not accetpab le either Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TizzyGirl Posted February 12, 2011 Report Share Posted February 12, 2011 its not about blame, its about people being acountable so as not to repeat the same patterns that get people hurt and ruin the forum True. Most who I've spoken to have held up their hands and said yes ok I/we shouldn't have said that, however others still don't accept that and thats where some are getting hurt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maize Posted February 12, 2011 Report Share Posted February 12, 2011 Yeah you have a right to say how you feel Maize. However you don't have the right to call people names. You weren't called any names so why don't you find another cause and whine somewhere else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TizzyGirl Posted February 12, 2011 Report Share Posted February 12, 2011 No not last night I wasn't Maize, you are right. However I was not talking about myself, I was talking about names that fellow members were called :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jam-parker Posted February 12, 2011 Report Share Posted February 12, 2011 Sorry maize I am actually confused by this thread maybe you could enlighten me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rmorgan_uk Posted February 12, 2011 Report Share Posted February 12, 2011 its not about blame, its about people being acountable so as not to repeat the same patterns that get people hurt and ruin the forum yes you are right but people need to hold themselves accountable not have somebody else holding them accountable. because if that happens i does become about blame. we all need to recognize when we have done or said something that is out of order. that way if a situation arises again at some point hopefully we can handle it in a better more productive way. im not saying we will always get it right, but learning from our mistakes is all part of the process. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maize Posted February 12, 2011 Report Share Posted February 12, 2011 Let your fellow members handle their own issues then, HiddenAngel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jam-parker Posted February 12, 2011 Report Share Posted February 12, 2011 Let your fellow members handle their own issues then, HiddenAngel. ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TizzyGirl Posted February 12, 2011 Report Share Posted February 12, 2011 You're forgetting they are also your fellow members, Maize. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maize Posted February 12, 2011 Report Share Posted February 12, 2011 Your point? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jam-parker Posted February 12, 2011 Report Share Posted February 12, 2011 Your point? ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bibiddi Posted February 12, 2011 Report Share Posted February 12, 2011 Moon dragon, roxy started the thread, so may be best asking her, as it looks to me as if you are trying to wind Maize up. Hidden Angel - speaking for others may be part of the problem. As they will speak for themselves, and then the 'ganged up' feeling happens. Maize, I understand you are in conflict with some people - and thats OK. Its what you do with it is the issue.This applies to others too - I highly recommend the ignore facility on here. I find it very difficult to help people when there is sniping at each other. Whats more important, focusing on being rude to each other, or focusing on yourself. I know which I choose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TizzyGirl Posted February 12, 2011 Report Share Posted February 12, 2011 With you, there just never seems a point Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aurorablues Posted February 12, 2011 Report Share Posted February 12, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Warrior Princess Posted February 12, 2011 Report Share Posted February 12, 2011 its not about blame, its about people being acountable so as not to repeat the same patterns that get people hurt and ruin the forum and for the record no one has the right to call people names or be abusive, maize was not the only person doing so and the people who did it back told her it was her fault, which is not accetpab le either I have never once called Maize a name. I'm very against name calling and see no excuse for it at all. No matter how angry I become I do not name call. I did make one error that I immediately regretted and corrected it. I admitted it and apologised. I do not see maize doing the same. I only see her making yet more excuses for her own bad behavior. maize you are responsible for your actions. No one forces you to respond the way you do. Same goes for me. When I'm wrong I say I'm wrong. I was wrong! I'm happy to be accountable for that. WP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jam-parker Posted February 12, 2011 Report Share Posted February 12, 2011 ok bibiddi. It wasn't my intention at all, but I can see how it looks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine001 Posted February 12, 2011 Report Share Posted February 12, 2011 well this is better that the tele tonight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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