Distorted View About Body

[yasontheborder]

Distorted view, I know, but I love it when my best guy mate calls me skeleton, and skinny. You see, he understands what I'm going through.. All my life I've been a picky eater. But i was an eater nonetheless. I ate loads of junk and remained skinny. Last year, was when the real shit happened. I started bingeing uncontrollably, and then made myself sick, I hated my curves, my boobs, my ass my thighs. It was what attracted sleaze bags like them. They wouldn't have touched me like that if I didn't have big boobs, they wouldn't have undid my bra every chance they got and grab at me ignoring my protests. I was scared. I had never been touched like that before. The bingeing had gotten out of hand, I would spend my money on doughnuts and crisps, dozens of chocolate bars and cookies. Purging felt like getting all the evil inside me out..it felt good. It felt right. Soon afterwards I was throwing up A school, and students started noticing. It would always happen after I ate brownies at the canteen, and the code name I had for throwing up would be brownies..thTs how they'd know i had to go and be sick,

I didn't tell anyone at first, but one day my best friend back then walked in and heard me. Se tried it a few times but gave up after I screamed at her, I know I was a hypocrite. Anyways, my best friend Greg found out, and he was a bit chubby back then and he started to throw up. He still does to this day, but very rarely. Over the summer he lost so much weight, he dieted, exercised and he's skinny! However I feel bad, he copied me and its my fault and I take the blame. I gradually started losing the weight I had gained by bingeing, I haven't purged in a long time but I restrict. A lot. Its crazy of me I know but I think bones are beautiful. I want my bones to show, my hips jutting put, my stomach flat, ribs showing. Im not pretty. I know that. I just hope I would maybe pass as an ok looking girl if I am skin and bones..because then people would finally notice me. They would finally notice me

[Heffalump]

:bigarmhug[1]:

Hey hunny, ... probably not helpful to say - but i get where you are coming from - i think the same... I want bones (even though a part of me knows thats not really sexy or what real women have...) ... I'd feel better about myself if i saw every rib bone and my spine - if there was no squish... And part of me really wants it - but the binge monster from hell has ensured that chubby is how i will be

From your profile pic - you really do look very gorgous hun, and i must say, you do look very slim!... but i guess the problem is always our own brains and how we view ourselves... Maybe its how you feel on the inside that is causeing you to focus on the outside? I dunno - talking utter rubbish as always

just wanted you to know that you are not alone - here if you want to talk

Love and cuddles

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[Cloud12]

I can assure u take being skinny and boney is not attractive yas.....There is nothing wrong with havin curves..

People might stare at u if u get really skinny but it wud be in shock and not in a good way.

Yas u r a very good lookin women and I u have a great personality as well....Im soo sorry that people in ur life have made u feel this is not so.

I have a bit of a distorted view of my body too but I know that starvin myself is not gonna help things....Skeletal people r not attractive and to be honest I find them quite frightenin to look at.

Thats all I got to say....I aint the best at talkin but I can assure u that u are a beautiful women :)