manja Posted February 27, 2011 Report Share Posted February 27, 2011 deleted so fuck off and get a life and stop trying to ruin other peoples and stop the patronising crap would ye Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manja Posted February 27, 2011 Report Share Posted February 27, 2011 deleted cos the world can go to hell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aurorablues Posted February 27, 2011 Report Share Posted February 27, 2011 Success is subjective, different to each individual. In my opinion having lots of money and an abundance of material possessions does not mean you are successful. Being Successful to me is being able to accept your weaknesses and strengths, to learn from your mistakes and to move forward in life doing the things that you love and enjoy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kelbo Posted February 27, 2011 Report Share Posted February 27, 2011 I was defining success in terms of money, obviously you can be successful in other stuff but my primary question was about money. well fucking good for you but some people came from hellish backgrounds, and have done remarkably well for themselves. i am proud of what i earn. its several times more than what my parents probably earned combined in a few years... woopy do i'm successful fucking great... actually no i'm not cos i don't have a fucking medicine or law background... fuck i'm not successful after all wow Manja, Originalnutter should be allowed to voice his own opinion on what success means for him. It doesn't at all mean he is judging you on what you think success is. He never mentioned anything personal about you or your background, nor did he comment on how people have done. He was simply asking if people have reached living a life that he deems to be successful. And by any means, the majority of the people on this planet deem success to equate to money. You get a pay rise, whatever amount of money that is, and you feel good...it's an achievement...a success. So nobody can turn around and say money isn't success. Because every single person on the planet would love to live comfortably. Nobody wants to be poor. Originalnutter - I would not class myself as successful in what you mean, I have very little money (in fact I am digging into my overdraft at the bank), I am unemployed at the moment, I'm not in touch with my family (except my grandparents with a phone call every so often), I don't believe in religion therefore I don't see the point in getting married, and I think the world is overpopulated and full of too many fucked up people already that I don't want to fetch any kids into this world. Do you think you would be happy if you were successful in your terms? Like if you educated to degree level, working in a mint medical profession that earnt a lot of money, had a wife and sprogs at home, maybe even a dog, would you be happy? In yourself? Or would they simply be an identity? Be a role to play? Be something to feel 'normal' about? Or to show off with? I'm not assuming your reasons for wanting those things are wrong, I just think for ME I wouldn't be happy with those things...I used to want kids, settle down, with a husband, be a housewife and fucking devoted mother, but then I realised that perhaps it were more the role/identity and routine that I wanted rather than the people, the kids, the husband. Do you get what I mean? To be successful to me, would be to learn who the fuck I am and find something to do that I could feel ok with doing (career wise), and build a life for myself, with people, pets and as much happiness as I could muster. The travelling, the money, education, the settling down, the life partner, the type of house all really wouldn't matter. As long as I felt ok and could get by, that is what I would feel would be success for me. But then again I'm very easily pleased, though I say that, if I had a too simple life I wouldn't be happy. There'd need to be a balance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donnam Posted February 27, 2011 Report Share Posted February 27, 2011 first of all, i have a degree in accountancy, and a have 2 beautiful children, if i had wanted to i guess i could have become an accountant and earned a fair packet of money, BUT money doesnt buy happiness, i choice not to do something i would be unhappy in even though i could have earned more money and that my parents pushed me into in for a bit. also having children doesnt mean u are successful, anyone can have children it is the way they are loved and cared for, the morals u instill in them etc that is the main thing not how many kids u have. As for the house i have a 3 bed semi, but i have the opportunity for a 5 bed detached, but it would not make my husband happy moving there, so we are staying put. My dad worked hard and earnt his money, but it didnt buy my happiness i never wanted for nothing, but i wanted to be shown love not been bought. i think that been sucessful varies from person to person, but ultimately i think happiness is key. cad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piuma Posted February 27, 2011 Report Share Posted February 27, 2011 I dont think that original meant any harm by it personally, i know we have had trouble in the past, but not everyone who has a strong opinion is here for trouble. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eternal Posted February 27, 2011 Report Share Posted February 27, 2011 I do think people were jumping to conclusions here as i thought the topic starter was genuine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manja Posted February 27, 2011 Report Share Posted February 27, 2011 deleted cos why not. its all fucking pointless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manja Posted February 27, 2011 Report Share Posted February 27, 2011 deleted cos i'm just a good for nothing shithead Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kelbo Posted February 27, 2011 Report Share Posted February 27, 2011 i said said that he's not allowed to voice his own opinion. i even responded to him to say that he's entitled to his opinion. and i never said he was 'judging' anyone. people may naturally be upset by someone saying that their definition of success is someone nobody really has, and basically saying that no one here is successful. but that's their problem. i admitted all the way through this that i should not have let him get me so angry. i'm sure that's what they were looking for, since he's replied to someone else who had said they got him very angry saying that that had made him laugh, so i've no doubt what his motives are. but i am walking away from this, no matter what you or anyone else says, as i can't believe i am letting such people bring me down. trust me, its not worth it. after all, i am way too successful for that First of all, I've read what you are referring to (what I've changed to colour green in your message) in his status, he was finding the posts we made on his status funny, not the posts in this thread. Secondly, how on earth do you know what this persons motives are? You don't know him at all. Thirdly, please take ownership for your own feelings. (see the text I've changed to red in your message) Someone can not make you become angry,...YOU become angry at something. They are your feelings...brought on by yourself as a response to something external. Yes he may have said something that you were sensitive to. But it's not his fault he was voicing his opinions and you took it so personally. Lets play nice shall we? It's all about expression...let's all voice our opinions without putting blame, hatred or guilt on anyone else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Divsky Posted February 27, 2011 Report Share Posted February 27, 2011 I think this is going too far with too many people getting hurt, lets call it a night on this matter and move on to something more positive fair enough everyone is entitled to their own opinion but this is turning into a mud slinging match here and I'm seeing my friends becoming very upset with all this so how about we all call it a night on this? eh? David actually I just want to add one of my dearest friends is now very upset with comments made to her and tbh that pisses me off I'm not one for getting worked up but I think this has gotten out of hand now, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guntarded Posted February 28, 2011 Report Share Posted February 28, 2011 Honestly just see a thread that is genuine, where the OP may have seen successful people around him/her and wanted examples in those with MH problems to determine success. I will answer from my own opinion, as success is measured by our own yardsticks. I have an accountancy degree, came top in my university class and got a 1st class honours, followed by a Masters in Finance - I succeeded where I was brought up in a crap home and in the troubles within northern ireland - I can define this as a successI have been battling serious physical and mental health difficulties for the majority of my 20s, and can safely say that my days of being hospitalised every month for my asthma and going into ICU/resus unit is over - I can now breathe much more independently and value this above ALL of my achievementsGreatest success, working for over 6 years to battle BPD, stopping self harming for 2 years, fighting the hardest battles that I have ever fought and still coming through the over side - this out of everything, and all my accomplishments, is the one I hang my hat on as success - the fact I am still here, living and able to retell my story is a personal success for me and one that I hold dearAs a result of the 3 successes above, I am now living my dream of over 20 years, to become a teacher, I am doing great so far, loving every day of it and getting through my PGCE well. I call myself a successful person, not because of money or wealth or status, but because of inner wars I have had to fight and eventually I won - I was lucky to have a great team of psychiatrist and psychologists to give me the tools to overcome and that I was brave enough to fight. Any idiot can have a kid, any numbskull can get pregnant, but to raise a kid, a successful kid is much different, and all the money and social status in this world does not bring happiness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fireflies Posted February 28, 2011 Report Share Posted February 28, 2011 I'm a sucessful survivor of abuse. I've sucessfully survied several suicide attempts. I've sucessfully helped others with MH problems as a peer supporter both here and other places. I also run a sucessful Dog Grooming business. I sucessfully completed an associates degree in Graphic Design and worked in the field. I also sucessfully in the past, trained to be a nurse and worked 10 years in that field. I also plan to sucessfully complete my counselling certificate and work in that field. I'm a sucessful horse rider, and have competed sucessfully at horse shows to win supreme with my miniature horses, and championships with my bigger horses. I'm a sucessful mother of three, and have been in a sucessful marriage for the past 22 years of my life/lives. I'm also a sucessful empowered multiple, living with a very difficult disorder but funtioning every day. I sucessfully completed the Dialectial behavioral therapy course and have sucessfully given up smoking, drugs and problem drinking. I'd say all around.. I've had my fair share of sucesses. Sucess to me is not lack of failure, but the ability to move on and learn from mistakes, hicups, ruts in the road and bad decisions. Warrior Princess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Warrior Princess Posted February 28, 2011 Report Share Posted February 28, 2011 I agree with many of the others here who have said that sucess is measured in different ways for different people. We are all individuals and see the world through different eyes. If one person see's sucess as money and family, then that is ok for them! If others see that it is the opposite. Then this is ok for them. There is no wrong answer because we will all measure our own sucesses based on our own standards. No one loses. However, The way we can lose here is to get upset at others standards of success when we compare them to our own. Please try to keep it all in perspective. I think the original poster was trying to look for some hope for himself in a world where he felt like there was no hope to achieve his OWN ideals of success. I don't think he was jabbing at anyone elses. I know there have been some heated responses reguarding this topic but please try not to take this personal. I'm very concerned about some people on this thread who are hurting over this. Please stay safe and know that you are ALL loved and all have a place in this world. You will all be sucessful in some way because you face far greater challenges than most people do. WP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manja Posted February 28, 2011 Report Share Posted February 28, 2011 deleted so fuck off and get a life and stop trying to ruin other peoples and stop the patronising crap would ye whatever!!!!! yeah, go and judge the resident psycho!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted February 28, 2011 Report Share Posted February 28, 2011 i think for me success is like achieving our dreams. some are easy, some are hard, some are impossible. we got all sorts of dreams, dreams like degrees that take years, dreams like getting through the next minute without cutting. Anything we achieve is like a success originalnutter if those are your dreams i hope you can achieve them. idk how class works so idk if you can change it (tho maybe you are upper class already idk) but the 5 bedroom house, posh neighbourhood, law or medicine degree, having a family, not every depressed person could do it just like not every non depressed person could do it. but i'm sure some ppl can and why shouldnt that be you? not everyone has the same dream tho, we are all successful in different ways for different reasons and whos to say who is the most and least successful? ((((((hugs)))))) to all the successful ppl on this thread, thats all of you xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cloud12 Posted February 28, 2011 Report Share Posted February 28, 2011 Success for me in life wud be havin a loving wife and children, things like a massive house and top job with big bucks don't appeal to me. In the end just having people who love you is the most important thing I think......I hope one day to find this happiness although at times it can feel so far away Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manja Posted February 28, 2011 Report Share Posted February 28, 2011 . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maize Posted March 1, 2011 Report Share Posted March 1, 2011 I'm a successful artist, I survived, but screw baby making!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littleweed71 Posted March 1, 2011 Report Share Posted March 1, 2011 i've got a job that pays the bills, a house (not 5 bedrooms just an ordinary semi)and two wonderful kids so by most peeps standards i could be called successful. but what makes me a success is that i've survived despite my childhood and i can say that everybody that has had the kind of shit that has been thrown at us and has come through the other side is a success despite our mh problems thats my 2 cents hugs nic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Divsky Posted March 1, 2011 Report Share Posted March 1, 2011 To be perfectly honest everyone who has posted sounds like an amazing success to me and its inspiring to see everyone doing so well and doing it all while managing mental health issues your all just showing off now David Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DJJK Posted March 1, 2011 Report Share Posted March 1, 2011 All valid points, but I think we have to question sometimes whether we are actually reading what we're reading - it's easy to look at words with a lack of inflection, without seeing a face and then filling in the blanks in our own heads as to how somebody says something...I find it helpful sometimes to try and read things in a couple of different tones, it just helps to remind me that what somebody is saying could be perfectly honest and not a personal attack. I think it depends on what the issue is here...success or happiness... In 2003 I would say I was a lot more successful in terms of what I thought success should be, but was I happy? - no - I was downright miserable... Success for me would be maintaining any kind of roof over my head, having a healthy relationship and having a job that allows me to express myself... “There's no reality except the one contained within us. That's why so many people live an unreal life. They take images outside them for reality and never allow the world within them to assert itself.” - Hermann Hesse Interesting topic... Kx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manja Posted March 1, 2011 Report Share Posted March 1, 2011 right then! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maize Posted March 1, 2011 Report Share Posted March 1, 2011 If I want to continue being successful, I need to stop spending time here because it's more or less a total waste of time and time of course is money when it is spent wisely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lyndseyb2009 Posted March 1, 2011 Report Share Posted March 1, 2011 For me success is not measured by how much money is my bank, what size my house is or what "class" I am. I've known people from all walks of life, all from different classes and being upper class doesnt neccessarily mean happiness. I think in todays society it's futile to define a person by class. I'd rather be defined by the person I am than some "label". Sucess to me is getting through each day, and making it count. Sucess to me is moving forward in my life despite a rocky start. success to me is waking up each day and knowing that I am alive. Yes I have a degree although it's not in law or accountancy or medicine. However I worked just as hard as my friends who studied law so does that mean my degree in management is less of a achievement than theirs? I don't believe so. Yes money and a nice house help, of course they do, it takes the pressure off. and I'm only 23 so I havent even thought of children yet. But when that time comes I'll measure my success as a parent on how my children grow up and turn out. My hopes are that I have 2 children who when the time comes can go out into the world strong and independent with a strong sense of self and a strong set of morals. I hope that I'm successful in being a mother but who knows what the future brings. For everyone here who has doubted their successes , take a look around you. Sucess is being alive, despite so many setbacks. Success is getting through each day . We are all successful. xxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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