souxie Posted February 28, 2011 Report Share Posted February 28, 2011 Hey guys, need some advice please Ok, so had a massive crisis a few weeks back, od'd and had to go to A&E, it was the biggest I've done in a while, anyhow, crisis team at A&E couldn't see me as I'm under care with my pdoc. So I sent an e-mail to pdoc telling him what had happened. Took him 4 days to reply, all he said was 'sorry you're struggling, will discuss other treatment options, have you got an appointment'. I e-mailed back 'no appointment, what are the other options?'. This time it took him a week and a half to e-mail. All of this triggered a massive internal rage, to the point where I wanted people dead (would never kill anyone), but it has been agony for a while. Anyhow had an apptmnt on friday. For the first 30mins I said nothing, and then I literally blew up in pdocs face I recieved my acceptance into a DBT taster group which is run for 6 weeks for 2 hours every friday. After ranting and telling pdoc that 'I knew he didn't give a shit, and that he thought I was a joke', I am now seeing him for 30mins, every week on a wednesday. He has upped my dose of Escitalopram and put me on elanzopine. The thing is, I've made my plans for the next OD already, I don't know when it will be, but I know exactly how many I will take. The other scary thing is that the last OD, I felt differently, usually I feel guilty, and worry about others, but this time, I didn't give a shit.I feel like I am permanently possessed. One person who has been a support network has suggested hospital, but I am really unsure how I'd deal with it. I have never been admitted before, but she has asked me to see the GP about it (can't bring myself to mention it to pdoc), what do you guys think? Based on the info I've given? Oh and got my official diagnosis - BPD, EDNOS, Anxiety and Depression on Thursday which hit home a bit Thanks in advance Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jam-parker Posted February 28, 2011 Report Share Posted February 28, 2011 Tinymindtricks Firstly it must be so much to deal with all at the same time with your DX. So I think you are incredibly brave and strong to have to cope with so many things at the same time. Based on everything you have said here you have got a big descision to make, and I commend you for putting it down here on the forum for all to see and respond. It is always good to get a second, third even fourteenth opinion. Wth regards to DBT it is a therapy I am not experienced with although from seeing responses here on this wonderful forum, I can see that usually it provides a help so I would say give it, it's fair chance to work if you say it is for six weeks then I would try to attend the whole course and see how you feel afterwards. As for your sui thoughts I only hope that the increase in medications combined with the help and support of your P-Doc will help, and you can count on my support if you need it. I only hope you cn see that the future is there for you to grasp and that you can live in the light again. If you are angry more often than not, have you considered how to deal with such rage, through sports, riding ( I know you have the gee-gees ) and possibly more creative outlets. I hope this is helpful to you and I hope you find this forum of help. I find the people I meet here are wonderful and even if I am unable to participate, knowing they are there brings me great comfort. Hopefully you can learn to believe in yourself, I know I believe in you. Jamie xxx. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littleweed71 Posted February 28, 2011 Report Share Posted February 28, 2011 the only advice i can offer is to keep talking to us on the forum hun. i know that this might not be of any help cos i don't know what you're going through but others on here might. hang in there and keep safe hugs nic xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BimoUK Posted February 28, 2011 Report Share Posted February 28, 2011 (((Tiny))) I'm so sorry things are so bad right now, I really wish there was something I could say to make things a little easier for you. I think you're incredibly brave for coming here and posting about how you're feeling, I know how hard that can be. I can understand that it must be overwhelming to have recieved your DX on top of how you're already feeling and I hope you know you can always talk to us about things. As for your friend suggesting hospital, I think if you really have got such a concrete plan in place for the next time you OD then maybe it's a good idea to at least consider discussing it with your GP/Pdoc. As difficult as it may be to accept, in the long run being admitted will give you the chance to take some time out, with some support, to gather your thoughts, regroup, and hopefully come out the other side a little stronger. I'm sorry I don't have much of any real help to offer but I hope you know that I am thinking of you. Take care. XX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Divsky Posted February 28, 2011 Report Share Posted February 28, 2011 Ok, I'm on olanzapine too and that can be a tough med to take, it is good for the numbing effect it does, you have to remember that suicide should never be the answer, there always other routes we can take I say this from experience hunni, going into hospital is a big big step and its one that should not be taken lightly its fantastic that your seeking help by admitting you need is half the battle if you feel within yourself that hospital is the only way to guarantee your safety then thats the place you should be because at the end of the day keeping you with us and getting you better is all that really matters, now the od is something thats quite personal to myself and I have experiences there I would be happy to help you with but may be too much to post, however saying that i'd be more than happy to talk to you about it and try to help you along the right path to stop you doing it, hopefully I will hear from you soon, my help is there for you and I promise to do all I can to support you and help you out of this situation David xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cloud12 Posted February 28, 2011 Report Share Posted February 28, 2011 Im no wise old sage for advice sadly but I'll try and help a bit When I get angry I usually pound my punchin bag and get all the anger out, Moondragons suggestion about using sports to help with the anger is good as well, I do kickboxing and I find that after a good session of sparring with people that I feel much better......Just to be clear I don't try to go out and beat them up with my anger! lol, just having a good fight can help relieve it.....Exercising in general usually helps me feel better about myself, u can't beat those feel good endorphins! 2 legged cross counrty is also good as well! lol, no 4 legs for me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
souxie Posted March 1, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 1, 2011 Thank you guys, you have no idea how much this advice helps. Still don't haven't decided yet, but am feeling more settled with the options. Ta and hugs to you all xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily-Bee Posted March 1, 2011 Report Share Posted March 1, 2011 Ive just completed a course to become trainer in DBT not only did it help me in how to help others I also found it very usefull for myself in my struggles. What have you got to lose,why not commit to giving this a real chance,I think its a great oppertunity that will help you in many ways towards having a more stable life. Lilly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
souxie Posted March 2, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 2, 2011 Thank you lilly, will give it a go x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
icu_baby Posted March 3, 2011 Report Share Posted March 3, 2011 I am so sorry you have to deal with the lack of compassionate and indifferent treatment that you received from so called mental health care "professionals". The crises team should have followed you up and your pdoc should have been more attentive to your needs. I don't think that 30 mins a week is enough. You need an hour after a serious suicide attempt. You seem to be good at sticking up for yourself and I can totally understand your anger at not getting the help that you need, especially when you have hit a bottomless pit. Please don't take another OD. You are clearly depressed and need help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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