hummm_mabbe Posted March 3, 2011 Report Share Posted March 3, 2011 Hi Wanted to share something that happened today. Its something I think has been happening for god knows how long, but today I fully noticed it for the first time. Its true that I generally feel very lonely, and do not expect to be liked or accepted by people. I had gone in the libary and went to the desk to get a book, and the staff were standing around chatting. I must do this all the time, but I realised I had this strong "wanting to be included" feeling, followed by the sense that it cannot happen. Right there in the libary I felt tears coming to my eyes and just felt like I was about 6, totally alone, and as I walked down the street that sort of slowly turned into depression. All the life sort of drained out of me. I recognised the depression and draining thing, because it happens all the time - but I didnt really realise why until now. I think this happens with pretty much every day to day interaction I have, in fact yes it happened yesterday in a shop too. I just thought I wanted to come back home and come here and say hello and things, get some snurgles and things. Ross Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowman Posted March 3, 2011 Report Share Posted March 3, 2011 understand and recognise the feelings sending *snurgles* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted March 3, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 3, 2011 understand and recognise the feelings sending *snurgles* Hi snow Ta for the snugglies. Also cheering myself up with a coffee and a lemon cheesecake thing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrippleAndStarfish Posted March 3, 2011 Report Share Posted March 3, 2011 Awrrr Ross, yay for identifying it. Ickle babba bun will snurgle in your hand & unlonely you. xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted March 3, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 3, 2011 OMG OMG OMG OMG lol that is sooo cute Want oooooooooooooooooooone Aww you could carry him / her about in your pocket and talk to it about stuff. Then when it got older, you could put it on a lead. Or a skateboard. Awwww. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrippleAndStarfish Posted March 3, 2011 Report Share Posted March 3, 2011 :lol: I'm glad you like it Ross dear. It melted my heart when I saw it Liek this oneee? I get a bit grumpy when i see that pic actually - it's poor little arm thingy! Wanna kiss it and tuck it in. D'awrrrr. am disappointed with the lack of bunny-in-pocket pictures on t'internet. Must. Remedy. *shoves dungarees on and runs squealing to Pets At Home* xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted March 3, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 3, 2011 Is that a bun bun or a cat? Maybe a catbun? A cabbit? Bunmog? Its the ears, sort of short for a bun bun, I guess its a baby. Yeah poor little arm part, needs tucking in coz he's sort of hanging by it. Though the pic would look quite funny if you photoshopped a ciggie into his paw ... would be like james dean bun. Maybe thats mean, sorry Dungarees rule lol :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted March 3, 2011 Report Share Posted March 3, 2011 ((((huggles and snargles)))) yes I understand. I'm sorry for your pain, it's hard x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carlylight1 Posted March 3, 2011 Report Share Posted March 3, 2011 ((((((((massive hugs)))))))))) i understand too. talking of libraries, if you fancy a really good fiction book to get lost in i would highly recommend 'a fraction of the whole' by steve toltz. its about philosophy and psychology and everything really but is really funny, addictive and easy to read. i feel all warm and cozy whenever i read it! xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carlylight1 Posted March 3, 2011 Report Share Posted March 3, 2011 Awrrr Ross, yay for identifying it. Ickle babba bun will snurgle in your hand & unlonely you. xx wow crippie! that is the cutest most precious bunnie ever!awwwwwww xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted March 3, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 3, 2011 ((((huggles and snargles)))) yes I understand. I'm sorry for your pain, it's hard x Ta for snurgles. It was weird in a way - that it almost felt relieving. I think I have sort of been totally at a loss to understand my emotions sometimes, just so caught up in them and not really knowing whats going on. Even though it felt painful, it was at least "ah now I know what thats about" sort of thing. Just the sense of "i want to belong" which seemed very pure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted March 3, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 3, 2011 ((((((((massive hugs)))))))))) i understand too. talking of libraries, if you fancy a really good fiction book to get lost in i would highly recommend 'a fraction of the whole' by steve toltz. its about philosophy and psychology and everything really but is really funny, addictive and easy to read. i feel all warm and cozy whenever i read it! xxx I dont tend to read a lot of fiction, and sort of obsessively read psychology books or stuff on politics. This makes me unbelievably dull I know, but for some reason I always start fiction books and then cant get much past the first few pages, unless it grabs me by the throat somehow. Warm and cosy does sound nice though lol, maybe will take a look. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted March 3, 2011 Report Share Posted March 3, 2011 It is a great relief when something clicks inside and I'm glad that you have had this realisation. From now on hopefully you can learn to comfort yourself when this happens. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted March 3, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 3, 2011 It is a great relief when something clicks inside and I'm glad that you have had this realisation. From now on hopefully you can learn to comfort yourself when this happens. xxx Maybe, or just burst into tears every time I get a book out or pay for groceries :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted March 3, 2011 Report Share Posted March 3, 2011 LOL ya tinker. That's what shades are for! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dani Posted March 3, 2011 Report Share Posted March 3, 2011 aww ross...i recognise those feelings so well. hugsxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bena.baby Posted March 3, 2011 Report Share Posted March 3, 2011 Think that's a good observation Ross, I get that feeling sometimes too. Sounds like it's an important realisation for you and feeling left out and like a child is not nice. x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted March 4, 2011 Report Share Posted March 4, 2011 I feel like that too all the time. i see ppl talking to each other and i want that so much. but I dont know how to make friends, i've never been able to do it before. so i feel depressed and if i do have to talk to them, its even harder because 1. i've just got a lot more depressed 2. I really want these ppl to like me like they like each other so i want to say something nice and normal and funny and intelligent 3. I'm interrupting ppl who are really happy talking to each other it makes me cry too only properly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canadianbumble Posted March 4, 2011 Report Share Posted March 4, 2011 aw thoughts of you welling up make me well up so glad for bunnies . I have a liitle fantasy that i am small and cute and that someone picks me up and puts me in their pocket close to their heart so i never feel alone but also so that person has a warm feeling next to their heart. mushy I know. B xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catsmother21 Posted March 5, 2011 Report Share Posted March 5, 2011 Only just seen this and want to send you some snurgles as well :hug2: . The bun pics are outstanding xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted March 5, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 5, 2011 aww ross...i recognise those feelings so well. hugsxxx Fankoo Daisy, sorry you feel like that as well Glad that we can come here and at least overcome e-loneliness. Lol you are all my I-Friends :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted March 5, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 5, 2011 Think that's a good observation Ross, I get that feeling sometimes too. Sounds like it's an important realisation for you and feeling left out and like a child is not nice. x Yeah it was odd, but it reminded me of that feeling when you are in the playground getting picked last, almost like a flashback sort of thing. Was kind of odd to experience it like that, amazing what my brain has stored away up there and things. If only it had squirreled away next weeks lottery numbers, that might be more useful :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted March 5, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 5, 2011 I feel like that too all the time. i see ppl talking to each other and i want that so much. but I dont know how to make friends, i've never been able to do it before. so i feel depressed and if i do have to talk to them, its even harder because 1. i've just got a lot more depressed 2. I really want these ppl to like me like they like each other so i want to say something nice and normal and funny and intelligent 3. I'm interrupting ppl who are really happy talking to each other it makes me cry too only properly. Yeah it just feels kind of impossible doesnt it, like no matter what you do it wont turn out well Its interesting cuz I dont even know what the librarians were talking about. Probably slagging off their boss or getting excited about a new filing system, but it didnt matter, I suppose its just something symbolic isnt it. Here are some people all apparently happy, and they arent talking to me **sad feeling** As you say its hard to come across as funny and intelligent when the biggest depression has just washed over you ((emma)) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted March 5, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 5, 2011 aw thoughts of you welling up make me well up so glad for bunnies . I have a liitle fantasy that i am small and cute and that someone picks me up and puts me in their pocket close to their heart so i never feel alone but also so that person has a warm feeling next to their heart. mushy I know. B xx Lol awww **picks up bumble and puts in pocket** Sorry to make you well up :hug2: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted March 5, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 5, 2011 Only just seen this and want to send you some snurgles as well :hug2: . The bun pics are outstanding xxxx Hi thanks cats Yeah de bun bunz always help dont they. Look at dem iccle ears :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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