catsmother21 Posted March 5, 2011 Report Share Posted March 5, 2011 I saw my CPN on Wednesday and she said that she has become very aware of how self-critical I am and she said that she would send me 'The Poisoned Parrot' exercise to do. It has arrived today and I will type it out in a minute (it's a long one) but she also recommended the following self-help websites: http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/ http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/ ... now for the Poisoned Parrot: Imagine you are given a parrot. This parrotis just a parrot - it doesn't have any knowledge, wisdom or insight. It's bird-brained after all . It recites things 'parrot fashion' - without any understanding or comprehension. It's a parrot. However, this particular parrot is a poisoned and poisonous parrot. It's been specifically trained to be unhelpful to you, continuously commenting on you and your life, in a way that constantly puts you down, criticising you. For example, the bus gets stuck in a traffic jam, and you arrive at work 5 minutes late. The parrot sits there saying, "There you go again. Late. You just can't manage to get there on time can you. So stupid. If you'd left the house and got the earlier bus you'd have arrived with loads of time to spare and the boss would be happy. But you? No way. Just can't do it. Useless. Waste of space. Absolutely pathetic!". How long would you put up with this abuse before throwing a towel over the cage, or getting rid of the parrot? Yet we can often put up with the thoughts from this internal bully for far too long. Decades. We hear that 'parrot', believe the 'parrot', and naturally get upset. That then affects the way we live our lives - the way we behave towards others, how we are, what we think about others, what we think about the world and how we think and feel about ourselves. We can learn to use the antidote: just notice that parrot, and cover the cage! "There's that parrot again. I don't have to listen to it - it's just a parrot". Then go and do something else. Put your focus of attention on something other than that parrot. This parrot is poison though, and it won't give up easily, so you'll need to keep using that antidote and be persistent in your practice! Eventually, it will get tired of the towel, tired of you not responding. You'll notice it less and less. It might just give up it's poison as your antidote overcomes it, or perhaps fly off to wherever poisoned parrots go. I like this idea and with some hard work and persistence am gonna get rid of this shitty poisoned parrot that has been sat on my shoulder for longer than I can remember. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrippleAndStarfish Posted March 5, 2011 Report Share Posted March 5, 2011 Cats, thankyou so much for sharing this, lovely. It sounds like a brilliant idea. I always do so much better when I can visualise something, and I have been at a loss as to what to do about that critical inner voice, as I have never been able to assign an image to it, i've just heard it. This parrot thing sounds like something that could really help, and I'm certainly going to try it once I've got this hallucinatey stuff under control (don't wanna overwhelm myself by trying to tackle too much at once). Again, thankyou so much for sharing, and I really hope it helps you! xxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted March 5, 2011 Report Share Posted March 5, 2011 oooo yes fking parrots !!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catsmother21 Posted March 5, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 5, 2011 I've been sat thinking about where my parrot can go to when it decides to fly away and I'm sending mine back to my mother where the shitty poisoned thing came from in the first place see how she likes it - is that mean - hmmmm don't care if it is :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrippleAndStarfish Posted March 5, 2011 Report Share Posted March 5, 2011 I've been sat thinking about where my parrot can go to when it decides to fly away and I'm sending mine back to my mother where the shitty poisoned thing came from in the first place see how she likes it - is that mean - hmmmm don't care if it is Nah hun, that makes sense She created it, she can be the one to look after the damned thing! I don't even know where I'd send mine - I think I'd have to separate the little shit and send some to me dad, some to me step-dad, some to me mother, some to me nana, etc etc etc. More effort than it's worth - when i get round to it mine is just goin' straight to Hell. xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saharah Blue Posted March 6, 2011 Report Share Posted March 6, 2011 this was just the kind of thing I needed to read today, thanks for sharing it Cats. My inner critic has been at me too much this week, your post reminds me who is really in charge of me and it helps to think of that inner critic as just a parrot, it takes the power out of the words for me to reframe it like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guntarded Posted March 6, 2011 Report Share Posted March 6, 2011 This was a fantastic read, thank you cats for typing it out for us all. I used to visualise a snake talking with its venom and poisoning me, but parrots is much less terrifying and very effective! I will visualise the parrot more often, especially when negative crap comes my way cos of stuff in my head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peregrine Posted March 6, 2011 Report Share Posted March 6, 2011 :trigger: Really nice, thanks for sharing, Cat - what a zoo we'd had if we all got together We knock ourselves so much, on a daily basis and I think a lot of the stress we're under is due to the mechanisms we've learnt from such an early age...constantly trying to pre-sense situations, ducking and diving and trying to stay out of trouble that way... none of this worked though, so we sat there, on our own, thinking with our little brains as to what we've done wrong yet again...'it surely must be something I'm doing wrong...maybe I am wrong!?' This together with the fact that the very people that should have been there to protect us did the opposite. No wonder we've nurtured our parrot, letting him grow and befriended him - seemed the only thing that made sense amongst all of the questions and confusion. Now we've got this darned thing, I hate it to my guts, lots of us on here do and we harm ourselves , trying to harm the parrot...but it's invisible, so our livers, kidneys, skins, brains...will have to do instead. Sorry if this is too graphic but I think I understood something here :unsure: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toocrazy Posted March 6, 2011 Report Share Posted March 6, 2011 I've been sat thinking about where my parrot can go to when it decides to fly away and I'm sending mine back to my mother where the shitty poisoned thing came from in the first place see how she likes it - is that mean - hmmmm don't care if it is YEAH :sm.jpg: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toocrazy Posted March 6, 2011 Report Share Posted March 6, 2011 And... you aren't ruined you are consistently kind you are consistently patient your vents are never mean and biting the FM and ME you must turn it inside because I have never read any hidden tone in your words, even when you are frustrated...you just tiptoe away for a little while let it fly away and all that will be left is sweet you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catsmother21 Posted March 6, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 6, 2011 And... you aren't ruined you are consistently kind you are consistently patient your vents are never mean and biting the FM and ME you must turn it inside because I have never read any hidden tone in your words, even when you are frustrated...you just tiptoe away for a little while let it fly away and all that will be left is sweet you Thank you toocrazy this is so lovely and so kind of you - brought happy tears to my eyes xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benway Posted March 6, 2011 Report Share Posted March 6, 2011 Hiya ((Cats)) Thats a deadly way of looking at things... I shall defintly be using the poisoned parrot parable. Thank you for sharing that, If I learnt one thing today, that's it. Cheers xx A.m Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BimoUK Posted March 7, 2011 Report Share Posted March 7, 2011 I've just found this topic Cats (Thanks to Ross for pointing me in the right direction) and I think it's a fantastic idea! I've always struggled with self-criticism, to the point that when I've done something well and I KNOW I've done it well I find myself wishing I hadn't because it feels uncomfortable to have pride in myself. This is definately something I'm going to try. Thank you so much for sharing it with us! XX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catsmother21 Posted March 7, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 7, 2011 I'm so pleased that you are all pleased with this and are going to use it - it seems such a simple thing to do but very effective. I've thrown the towel over my parrot a couple of times today and then gone off and done something else - it's gonna take time but hopefully it will bugger off sooner rather than later :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jam-parker Posted March 7, 2011 Report Share Posted March 7, 2011 Catsmother21, I really liked this post and I am going to try and use the visualisation of the parrot the next time I start to criticise myself for making a mistake. Thank you so much for sharing it, and as for you being mean, for all your kindness and goodness, to me I think even bad karma would have a hard time trying to reflect itself on you. You are a great and good spirit, and a true heroine in my eyes. As for what do I do with the parrot well I wouldn't wish harm on anyone even the ones who have hurt me. So I'm going to send mine to rolf harris' animal hospital. He can take care of the feckin' thing Thank you again, Jamie. xxx. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverwolf Posted March 7, 2011 Report Share Posted March 7, 2011 ooh ooh - i lurve this parrot thing Cats, thanks for sharing, I will also be sending my parrot back where it belongs!! x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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