evade Posted March 6, 2011 Report Share Posted March 6, 2011 I'm hoping its just the side effects of the Fluoxetine I started taking on Tuesday but I have been having moments of utter dread and terror without any warning. I had one in Pizza Express yesterday and had to fight the urge not to roll up in a ball under the table. My wife took my hands and calmed me down instead. I've recently seperated from my wife so she is not around all the time. Twice this morning so far I have two bigger moments that have scared the hell out of me and I ended up curling up in a ball, howling in tears and looking around for the threat. This lastest around 10 minutes. I'm a bit of a loner so apart from my wife there is nobody else close to talk to. If any one has any ideas of what I can do to help myself cope they would be most appreciated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catsmother21 Posted March 6, 2011 Report Share Posted March 6, 2011 Hi evade I'm sorry that this is happening to you. Unfortunately, when you start on a new medication, it can make things a bit worse before it really starts to quick in and you start to feel the benefit of it. If this is still happening in a 2-4 weeks, I would go back to see your doc because it may be that this med doesn't suit you and you may need to try something else but hopefully this will settle down for you soon. What dose has the doc started you on? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted March 6, 2011 Report Share Posted March 6, 2011 Hi there Have you suffered panic attacks in the past, or is this new for you? You said that you had no one else to talk to, that your wife was the only one - and now you are separated. You had a panic attack whilst seeing her in a restaurant, and now you are having them this morning immediately after. Panic that comes out of nowhere sometimes arises because of feelings that we are trying not to feel, or because of situations in our lives that feel completely overwhelming and we have no avenue of support. As you say, your one avenue of support is now the thing that is causing the hurt - your one supporter has left you. Very often panic is not logical, and we are not aware of the feelings that can underlie anxiety. Sometimes that can be anger that we are afraid or unable to express. There is a good book on Panic and anxiety, written by David Burns. Its a CBT based book, and he talks about the 'hidden emotion' approach to panic. As a psychiatrist and therapist he found that very often when someone suddenly started experiencing panic, it was because there was a situation in their lives that was bothering them, but they werent being completely honest with themselves about all their feelings. Often he would ask them if they felt angry, and they would say "no, not at all". But when he asked them "how do you think another person would feel if that had happened to them", they recognised that anger was a normal response. As a result, they got angry - and the panic subsided. If your wife has left you, it may be that you are pleased she still sees you from time to time, and be worried that getting angry with her will destroy even that. For that reason you may be stuffing down the anger you feel at her. You dont necessarily have to express it to her, but being honest with yourself about it, verbalising it out loud when alone, can often go a long way to relieving it and understanding it. Alternatively it may be another feeling you are stuffing away, maybe sadness or fear itself or a belief that if only you knew what to say, she might stay. I am not saying these things are definitely what is going on for you, they are just suggestions. Im sure many people will give you suggestions on how to manage anxiety, but looking for its root cause goes a bit deeper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evade Posted March 6, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 6, 2011 No I never have had panic attacks before. I have always been very much in control of emotions until I started taking the 20mg Fluoxetine. This is all very new to me and its been a real emotional rollercoaster with moods and emotions switching very frequently. I do tend to react to drugs quite strongly. Thanks for the book advice. I will order it and add it to the collection the doctor recommended. I started reading one yesterday but I'm so tired its not going in. There maybe an underlying cause but yesterday I was really happy when it happened whilst out with my wife. I'm oddly glad she has left as we now have all of issues out in the open and its been a big relief to both of us. It was the happiest either of us have been for months. What 24/7 support is available/recommended? The mental health team have put me forward for some program but its a 3 month wait. The other question is if I am panicking is there anything I can do to calm myself down? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted March 6, 2011 Report Share Posted March 6, 2011 Maybe look up anxiety management online Recommendations are often to breathe deeply, as anxiety can make you start to tense up and restrict your breathing. Another is to try to 'connect' with the environment in some way - so to look around at the colour of the wallpaper or what the table is made of. That has the effect of getting you outside of your mind and the anxious thoughts there. Learning 'mindfulness meditation' has helped me enormously, though it takes time to build up skill with it. Forms of dsitraction can help. Do you find that you are afraid of what others will think if they see you panicing? You said you are used to having control over your emotions, so is there an element of fear creeping in that others might judge you or react oddly to your panic? That can also be a contributing factor in the panic cycle. Propranolol is a drug that can be good for panic attacks, though you generally only take it when you know you will be facing a panic inducing scenario (thats how I took it anyway). In terms of 24/7 support I really dont know. There are charities out there such as MIND, and I know that some people with signficant problems coping can be given a crisis team they can call, though that is usually via the NHS. Above all i would say to try to be aware that the panic does pass. It doesnt sound like what you might want to hear, but reacting to panic in a "this shouldnt be here, I must get rid of it" way actually makes it worse. It can be tremendously helpful to develop an attitude of acceptingness towards it, and observing that it arises, then eventually passes. Again learning mindfulness skills helps hugely with that, but maybe just experiment by not 'fighting' it so much. Let the fear and panic into your body. I know it sounds ridiculous when you are suffering from it, but it really does help. Ross Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted March 6, 2011 Report Share Posted March 6, 2011 Also that Burns book has tons of tips on how to deal with panic as it arises :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evade Posted March 6, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 6, 2011 Thanks all for the advice. I have also ordered the book which should hopefully turn up on Tuesday. I think I will also do some googling for now. I have also just google one of the phone numbers I wrote down earlier in the week and it is for the Surrey Mental Health team and they have a 24hr helpline. This week has been a complete blur and my memory does not seem to work at the moment either. :ashamed0005: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted March 6, 2011 Report Share Posted March 6, 2011 Hiya Glad you have found the number Yeah unfortunately panic and things like that do affect memory, its one of the irritating side effects. Try not to push yourself or tell yourself you 'should' be able to remember things and so on - at the mo your brain is doing what it pleases and in many ways you sort of have to try to make friends with the thing, treat it like a friend who is having a bad time If you're fluffy-of-head and keep forgetting stuff, thats cool. Being kind to yourself always helps a lot, because then the mind relaxes a bit. Can you set alerts and things on a phone or PC to remind you of stuff if you are forgetting? yay for surrey! I am originally from Kingston, now live in Aberdeen Thats a good book, had HUNDREDS of exercises to try and help your anxiety. What ones did your doc remommend? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evade Posted March 6, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 6, 2011 I have been keeping a bit of a running commetary of how I'm feeling etc but I've not noted down any useful information. I will add that in now while I remember. My doctor recommended 'Mind over mood' by Greenberger and Padesky. She also said to have a look at 'The Mind Gym', I think she meant a website but I bought a mind gym book on relationships which seems to be a guide to manipulating people and not any good to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jam-parker Posted March 6, 2011 Report Share Posted March 6, 2011 I'm hoping its just the side effects of the Fluoxetine I started taking on Tuesday but I have been having moments of utter dread and terror without any warning. I had one in Pizza Express yesterday and had to fight the urge not to roll up in a ball under the table. My wife took my hands and calmed me down instead. I've recently seperated from my wife so she is not around all the time. Twice this morning so far I have two bigger moments that have scared the hell out of me and I ended up curling up in a ball, howling in tears and looking around for the threat. This lastest around 10 minutes. I'm a bit of a loner so apart from my wife there is nobody else close to talk to. If any one has any ideas of what I can do to help myself cope they would be most appreciated. Wade I'm sorry to hear you are going through such a difficult time in your life. And I understand you when you say you are a bit of a loner. I have had fluexetine in the past and for me found it to have many side effects. Including feelings similar to what you are describing although not as acutely. Usually with meds the effects settle down after a period of time and the side effects should decline for you. I would ask you to speak with your GP especially with such feelings as I know from experience it isn't easy to control them once they takae a hold. And as you say this could happen when you have noone to turn to. I myself changed medications in the end, however the dr will usually wait for a period (possibly the first 4 weeks). I hope that now you have found an outlet (MHF) that you can express these feelings in a safe and supportive environment. During my weaker moments, I liken this place to a Radio in the background and knowing it is there provides me with great comfort. It is a wonderful place and I hope you feel better and more able to cope soon Jamie xxx. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted March 6, 2011 Report Share Posted March 6, 2011 I have been keeping a bit of a running commetary of how I'm feeling etc but I've not noted down any useful information. I will add that in now while I remember. My doctor recommended 'Mind over mood' by Greenberger and Padesky. She also said to have a look at 'The Mind Gym', I think she meant a website but I bought a mind gym book on relationships which seems to be a guide to manipulating people and not any good to me. Ah yes the mind over mood thing is the recommended book for people having CBT, so the one you just ordered will be complimentary to it. I have heard of Mood Gym, dont know if thats something different or not - it was a CBT based site for working through things. If you are trying making observations of feelings, have you tried writing down what you are feeling? Sometimes this can free things and up a bit, and can feel like talking to someone. CBT gets you to write stuff out a lot. Also if you want to talk about the feelings and experiences, then maybe do that here too. I think you will find there are many folks here that have been through similar experiences. I used to get socially caused panic attacks and they are horrible so can well relate. Ross Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evade Posted March 6, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 6, 2011 The Mood Gym looks like what she was describing. I asked the doctor her to write down her recommendations for me and she accidentally wrote Mind Gym instead - I just checked the bit of paper. I have been writting down my worries and some of my feelings but at the moment my main worries are that I'm not in control of my mind and that I want my wife back. I don't want her to come back to look after me but when she wants to be with me again. I also feel guilty about my wife and how I have been to her over the years and how I hate myself because of that. I called my wife little pet names that were initially amusing to her and that made her giggle, but I overused these and what were all little playful digs added up it was a torrent of constant critism. I did not notice how unhappy this made her. We went to Relate for the first time on Thursday. At the same time as this is going on I have had a few medical worries with chest xrays showing something in my lung which eventually turned out to be nothing - this took months. Ive recently had a blood test showing low testosterone which the specialist said could explain my sleep problems and other symptoms. The day after I saw the specialist my wife left - that was Saturday last week. Then on Tuesday the doctor said I had depression. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted March 6, 2011 Report Share Posted March 6, 2011 Hi there With all that going on, I am not surprised you are having panic attacks! Thats an awful lot of stress to be dealing with, and it sounds like you also have feelings of guilt in there too. Discovering there was something you were doing that upset someone important to you, can come as a painful shock. It tends to pull at our sense of being a 'good person' and that alone can make us feel depressed. Its important to own and take responsibility for those things we might do, but at the same time we dont have to punish ourselves. Guilt or shame can be the reaction when confusing what we did, with what we 'are' ("I did a bad thing, so I am a bad person" or perhaps "I wont admit I did a bad thing, because I am not a bad person") but this is something that CBt will probably talk about as well. I think you may find the CBT stuff quite helpful. It tries to help you look at things inw ays you might not have considered, to change some attitudes towards your feelings and so on, and to try out different approaches to stuff. You sound like a pretty down to earth sort of bloke and the CBT tends to be just that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evade Posted March 6, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 6, 2011 Thanks everyone. Especially to hummm_mabbe as that last reply has helped a lot Its back to Relate tomorrow but I'm a bit worried I'm not in a fit place for it to be worthwhile yet. But it could turn out to help and I really want my wife back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted March 6, 2011 Report Share Posted March 6, 2011 Hi there Glad it was helpful, hope the relate session goes ok :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evade Posted March 7, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 7, 2011 I feel much better today, far less anxious and nervous, stressed, negative etc etc. I think that accepting that some of these problems I have been having are not side effects has removed a big weight. I also think the drugs are kicking in a nice way as I feel a bit relaxed and I actually had over 5 hrs sleep - which is the most I have had in a night for many months. I have been having between 0 and 5 hours sleep a night for 5 months or so. Thanks everyone for the support as its very much appreciated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catsmother21 Posted March 7, 2011 Report Share Posted March 7, 2011 Good morning So pleased you slept better than you have done in a long time. I went through a similar thing a couple of years ago 0-2 hours sleep per night for eight months - I was walking into walls, couldn't talk properly (slurring words) and wasn't able to function at all so can relate to how you've been feeling. Hopefully, this amount of sleep will continue because this kind of sleep deprivation doesn't help our mental health at all and your mood will improve with better sleep and feel more motivated. Really pleased for you xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evade Posted March 7, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 7, 2011 I had to go out today and don't feel awake enough to drive safely, so took the train. It was only a 7 minute journey but I could not get out of the carriage fast enough. I then spent 15 minutes alone in the Relate reception concentrating on breathing deeply, focusing on patterns etc and it seemed to keep the panic attack at bay. When the counsellor turned up it took about 10 minutes or so for me to calm down. My muscles are all still tense more than 3 hours later. I walked home and that took just under an hour but so much better than facing the train. Thanks for all the advice as it really seemed to work. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evade Posted March 19, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 19, 2011 I'm still anxious all the time so the doctor has prescribed diazepam to help me relax. Not sure if that is a good thing or not but I am only supposed to take one when I'm really anxious so had my first today - after some issues with the wife. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.