Helping Family Understand :)

[justskirting]

I am one of those that has been blessed with a very patient, supporting, and understanding family. My Mom has been behind me from the get-go when I was first diagnosed nearly 10 years ago.

Last week I had my intake session prior to therapy and my therapist gave me some papers about dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) since I also have BPD. When I got home, my Mom wanted to know how it had gone and we spent an hour talking about what the future may hold in regards to therapy, medication, and possibly the DBT (pleeease let that happen!). As she's looking at the list, she proclaims: "Abandonment issues!? I never abandoned you when you were a child!"

Now she's worried she did something wrong raising me. I never was abandoned as a child - aside from having a father that had to leave for six months stints in the military (I'm a Navy brat), I had a two parent household and never felt anything short of loved. Yet, I DO have abandonment issues. I'm the girlfriend that pleads for someone not to leave her. I'm the person that can't stand for someone not to like me, just because it makes me feel rejected. I haven't been single since I was 17 (I'm 34).

Later on as we're talking, I had mentioned that I am socially awkward - I will not put myself into social situations where I am alone. If circumstances make it unavoidable, I am an absolute wreck up to that moment. This is something I assume my Mom would know about me. She scoffed at this, which just shows me how well I do hide it around most people. I am VERY good at wearing my mask, that's for sure. I had to explain to her in what ways I am socially inept and after that, she understood.

Opening up dialogue to people who are actually willing to listen makes things so much easier.

I don't want my mom to think the emotional challenges I face are because of something she did or didn't do while I was growing up. It's her support (along with many others) that makes me want to get better.