lauraw2693 Posted March 8, 2011 Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 I've been trying different combinations of meds for 5 years now, for BPD and a dissociative disorder, hallucinations etc. They've either made me worse or not done anything. I'm fed up of putting chemicals into my body like this, if it was helping I wouldn't mind but they're not. I know it's about finding the right ones for you but how long do you have to keep trying for that to happen, maybe there just isn't one for me I think my new mood stabiliser is making my mood swings more extreme and the other med I'm on is doing nothing. All that works is the occasional Diazepam or Temazepam I take. I want to try coming off regular ones, this is also fueled by paranoia that my cpn and psych are trying to control me with them but I'm trying to do it the right way and not just stop them. I haven't been properly med free for 5 years so how am I supposed to know how I'd be now without them? Dunno it's worth a try I think but my psych and cpn don't agree - but ultimately it's my choice isn't it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madambutterfly Posted March 8, 2011 Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 hi shadow have you psych or cpn said why they dont agree with you stopping your meds and have you told them that you dont think the new ones are working right for you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TizzyGirl Posted March 8, 2011 Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 I'm just as fed up with meds too. My psych said to look at it like this: If you're struggling whilst on medication, think how bad you could be without it. But then you won't know unless you don't try! Its extremely frustrating. Hopefully you will be able to have a good chat about the medication and see what can be done Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauraw2693 Posted March 8, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 Sounds exactly like my psych! When I mentioned it before he just said other people in my position would be on more like 5 regular ones, I'm only on 2 and another 2 only when I need them - apparently thats good but it doesn't feel it He didn't seem to understand the fact that I don't know what's me and what's the meds anymore and won't be able to til I'm not on anything I don't know why that's difficult to understand.. And butterfly, I've just emailed my CPN again to say I think I'm getting worse on these new ones, see what she says this time Well they said they were worried I'd end up at crisis point again, but I was medicated the last few times I've reached that point xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madambutterfly Posted March 8, 2011 Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 i think you did the right thing in emailing her, hopefully they will listen to you and you can sort something...... hoping all goes well MB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowman Posted March 8, 2011 Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 I know my psych is going to talk about this with me tomorrow. Are meds working? I have no idea but it scares me what I'd be like be without them but then I'm not fab on them...... It's a nightmare isn't it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauraw2693 Posted March 8, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 Thanks MB, yeah hopefully she'll be a bit more positive this time, I find it hard I just can't seem to stand up to her. The idea of them sounds good it's why I've tried all these different combinations so far in the hope that something will help a little bit but I think it's taking its toll I'm just getting more and more frustrated.. Yes snowman it is, I'm not good on them, no idea what I'd be like without them.. but at least if it's worse I can always go back on them, if it's better well brilliant I want to avoid meds They don't seem to understand that logic, it's like they want to just dope me up to shut me up rather than actually make me feel better. The paranoia is getting to me, I can't shake the thought they're just trying to control me again, that's why they're so insistent I take them. I want to just stop them and not tell them but know I'd get in trouble again. xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul_c Posted March 8, 2011 Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 shadow. unbfortunatly thats exactly what they want you to do. take these they make you not as much ahssel for me now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauraw2693 Posted March 8, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 <_< Seems like it which is why I'm tempted to do it myself.. My CPN replied - my psych is off at the moment and she's off for two weeks next week and doesn't want me to do it without seeing him first. Doesn't seem to matter I'm feeling worse in the meantime Oh well I'm not increasing it anymore for sure. xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
den Posted March 8, 2011 Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 I understand where you're coming from - I was on a range of meds with litlle or no success for 7 years and I got to the point where I didn't want them anymore and I became med free about 2 years ago now. It's the best thing I could have done for me - I still have symptoms and major bad patches, but no worse than when I was on meds!!! Hopefully your care team will take your view on board and be more willing to discuss it with you - it is your choice and like you say, you can always go back on them if things go wrong. Good luck xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauraw2693 Posted March 8, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 Hope it will be the same for me den, even if I'm exactly the same I won't be putting chemicals into my body for no reason.. My CPN and psych seem quite awkward about this I really don't know why, my CPN thinks I'll be worse off them but shes never known me off them Oh well when they're both back from holiday maybe I'll be able to talk to them about it, just have to cope til then. xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canadianbumble Posted March 8, 2011 Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 Just my 2 pennies worth I often think I don't need meds. They wont give me anti d's anyways. They wo't give me anythings that I could easy od on either usually. But when I I have tried to stop meds I get really bad psychosis and mania so I'm at a loss because I thought maybe BPD is better witout meds but if they say we's bipolar too does that mean defo meds and why? can there be ways t stop this too? I feel that my body gets used to meds and I always need higher dose. I heard of some people being allowd to go through their psychosis fully unmedicated obiviously kept from harming themselves. (which ade me hink how do you do that without that? Tie them to a bed or what? And that they found this a positive and spirtual awakening experience. Certainly I find my manic episodes vey spiritual but they tell me I am nuts so where to go with this sorry prob off topic. ah shite mouth before thought once more srry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
den Posted March 8, 2011 Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 I think lots of medical professionals just assume we need meds and that we'll become unmanagable and uncontrollable without them, but they never give us a chance to prove them wrong! Maybe when your peeps are back from holiday, they'll be refreshed and ready to listen to you! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you anyway xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauraw2693 Posted March 8, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 I have no idea, someone told me BPD shouldn't be treated with meds anyway.. I guess its more treating the symptoms. Thanks den, I hope you're right! xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrippleAndStarfish Posted March 8, 2011 Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 Shadow honey, think you've got a fair bit of input on the whole on meds/off meds thing, and my head feels a bit mashed atm so i'ma (try to!!!) keep it short and sweet.... If you were to come off your meds, do you think you have a strong enough support network to help you if it goes a bit tits up? And, if it got really bad while you were off meds, how likely are you to accept meds if the profs decide that they are needed? Would you be open to that suggestion if you were med-free and got poorly? Or would you refuse them? Do you have any idea? That's just something that worries me about you possibly coming off them, as I know for myself I made a great big hoo-haa when i was med-free about wanting to stay that way, even though I was totally in crisis and really should have accepted.... ...Yeah, I'm just ramblin' again... xXxXx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauraw2693 Posted March 8, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 Aww you're not rambling lovely I think so, probably, well my support worker and counsellor and friends/sister are supportive.. My CPN and psych not so much. But crisis team are always on standby I'm on their books. I think I'd just want a few months med free to see what happens, if I get worse then I would try something different, I'm just interested really to see what I'm like now without them cuz I'm not happy with how things are on them. Some of it is the paranoia but I'm trying to think rationally and it is more that I'm fed up of nothing working. I don't think my problems are chemical which I guess would explain why nothing's working xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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