Betsy Posted July 26, 2004 Report Share Posted July 26, 2004 after a year of being a zombie, being in counceling, trying to improve........ i lose it. i do what i used to do all the time. over a simple question from my husband i go into a biting attack on him and everything else. i was unreasonable (that is putting it mildly). then i immediately knew what i had done. i was frozen where i stood... icould not move... for about 10 minutes i contemplated what was going on. the walls were moving and waves of emotion keep undulating up and down my body. i decided i needed to get undercontrol and appoligize for my part of the blow up. i told him i was sorry for what i said and didnt mean them and i thot i was reacting to an event in the environment that happened just before his question and his sharp response to me was also a reaction to that event. he said "well, it just happened so suddenly" i replied "isnt that my hallmark.. sudden and unreasonable" then i added "besides you should have appologized too, you were in the wrong also" he said nothing and i stormed out. this is the type of thing i used to do all the time.. why is it back... dont i, wont i everylearn? i dont think i am a dumb person but i keep doing dumb things.. maybe being a zombie was better... bets Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verbena Posted July 27, 2004 Report Share Posted July 27, 2004 And I wish, wish, wish I could do just that - blow up and raise the roof. I can't. I brood, and keep it inside where it tears me up. And it probably isn't any easier for those around me......I am always a volcano that threatens but never erupts. I'd rather just get it over with. Verbena Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betsy Posted July 28, 2004 Author Report Share Posted July 28, 2004 one man's meat....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betsy Posted July 28, 2004 Author Report Share Posted July 28, 2004 verbena.... thx for replying... i didnt mean to be rude Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verbena Posted July 28, 2004 Report Share Posted July 28, 2004 Why would you think I may have felt you were rude? Keep in mind that I don't have a computer at home, and only allow myself so much time on my office computer - several short periods a day. I am dense in some ways. What does "one man's meat" mean? Verbena Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betsy Posted July 28, 2004 Author Report Share Posted July 28, 2004 old saying... one mans meat is another mans poisen. means my anger to me is a toxic as you me as your inability to feel anger it to you. ((((((((((( verbena )))))))))))))) bets Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verbena Posted July 28, 2004 Report Share Posted July 28, 2004 Thank you Bets. I am not able to get into the chatroom yet - I am expecting a new computer soon, and then may be able to speak to you all directly. It means so much to me that you replied so quickly - almost as though you were here next to me, but the chat will be even better. I should get to work now. Know that you made a difference for me today......I will think of you as I perform the mundane. Verbena Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betsy Posted July 28, 2004 Author Report Share Posted July 28, 2004 thx....... and u helped me knowing i helped someone else! looking forward to chat with you! (((((((((((((((((((( verbena )))))))))))))))))))))))) Bets Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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