gazmix Posted May 5, 2011 Report Share Posted May 5, 2011 Am sleeping a lot lately, sometimes not getting up until mid afternoon as for me there are too many hours in the day, i'm even resenting summer as its so light! I have no motivation or self confidence or anything to aspire to. I wish i was like all those commuters on the bus in the morning with a life going to work, coming back to a loving partner, not lonely & yet i am sure i will never have this in my life! I drink at night because i'm so lonely, just to escape my reality & to actually have a different feeling for a while! I know it makes me worse the next day, lower mood & feel so much better when i don't! It's just i'm so bloody bored & yet don't have the confidence or motivation to do anything about it! rup Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ayen_92 Posted May 5, 2011 Report Share Posted May 5, 2011 hello Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gazmix Posted May 7, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 7, 2011 That's a good start Ayen! :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
icu_baby Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 Ruprecht when I read your post I thought to myself that I could have written that myself. I also lack self confidence and motivation and I dread going to volunteering work 2.5 days a week. If I didn't go to volunteering I would have nothing written on my resume. I don't do any sport or don't have any hobbies and again I think that is because I lack the interest or motivation to do anything and most of my time is consumed by anxiety. The ironic thing though is that doing sport will help reduce my anxiety but the problem is getting started. I also think the same thing about people on the bus but I am not so sure they are luckier than us. A lot of people don't want to do the 9-5 grind and I am sure a lot of people don't like their work but need to go out of necessity. I am sorry I can't offer you any advice but just letting you know that I am also going through a similar thing. One thing that i do though is being thankful of the things that I do have like my family. I would be in the gutter without them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bookworm Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 Am sleeping a lot lately, sometimes not getting up until mid afternoon as for me there are too many hours in the day, i'm even resenting summer as its so light! I have no motivation or self confidence or anything to aspire to. I wish i was like all those commuters on the bus in the morning with a life going to work, coming back to a loving partner, not lonely & yet i am sure i will never have this in my life! I drink at night because i'm so lonely, just to escape my reality & to actually have a different feeling for a while! I know it makes me worse the next day, lower mood & feel so much better when i don't! It's just i'm so bloody bored & yet don't have the confidence or motivation to do anything about it! rup Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bookworm Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 Hi Rup, I'm sorry you are feeling so low. Have you seen a doctor? Are you on medication because I really think you could do with some help. I understand feeling sleepy and wanting to sleep, waiting for time to pass but not being ungrateful for life. Even if we don't want to it's good to get out everyday and get as much sunshine as possible it will make you feel better. You can only take one day at a time, be kind to yourself. suelou Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mike_m Posted May 9, 2011 Report Share Posted May 9, 2011 Well, being a Sheffield Wednesday fan will do that to you. Seriously though, I feel exactly the same. I'm led on my bed now wishing I had something to do, but with no confidence or motivation to go and do it. I have uni work to be finishing and some freelance work, but I can't seem to do it. Anxiety has rendered me useless over the past few days and there's nothing I can do about it. Chin up, though, I hope things improve soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gazmix Posted May 9, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 9, 2011 Thanks all, icu_baby, i know your situation too with volunteering & only having that, i did some last year at a mental health charity & it was all going well until the end of last year when i split with my ex, my life's motivation just went out of the window. It's true i guess, the grass isn't greener, but at least they are actually involved, earning money & feel art of something!, feel wanted & useful!. It's 3.30pm & i'm just coming out of my room!! Jeez, i woke at 9am & just wanted to put a t-shirt over my head & go to sleep again! I get times of feeling that i want to do something & next day that all goes away! Selou, i take Citalopram 40mg which i think is helping a bit but makes my dreams really wild! I also see a counsellor once a week which is ok whilst in the hour! I try to take in a bit of sun, go out on my bike or a walk. Mike, i know the anxiety so well, the way it restricts us from doing what people who don't get it find easy! I think i'm wasting my life away by not doing what i think i can't!! It's that 1st hurdle!! I think supporting the owls would have strengthened me over the years!! lol. :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EthanFoster Posted May 10, 2011 Report Share Posted May 10, 2011 Really this is good read. I get times of feeling that I want to do something & next day that all goes away! I also see a counselor once a week which is ok whilst in the hour! I try to take in a bit of sun, go out on my bike or a walk. Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gazmix Posted May 10, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 10, 2011 Although i've not much motivation & self confidence, i'm totally bored & climbing the walls. Its like i escape reality with sleep & drink & other times when not asleep or drinking, i'm empty! I need to find something that i enjoy & can do in life, a meaning! a reason to get up!! But i think & think & don't know what that is or where to start! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
icu_baby Posted May 11, 2011 Report Share Posted May 11, 2011 Although i've not much motivation & self confidence, i'm totally bored & climbing the walls. Its like i escape reality with sleep & drink & other times when not asleep or drinking, i'm empty! I need to find something that i enjoy & can do in life, a meaning! a reason to get up!! But i think & think & don't know what that is or where to start! I feel the same way, that feeling of emptiness is a really hard feeling to deal with. I feel like an empty shell. I thought that my line of work which involves helping people gives me a sense of purpose in life but I feel depressed and don't feel that there is any purpose in life. I wish I had the answer to this emptiness but I don't. Perhaps it is part of depression and maybe it will go away naturally over time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emptyspace Posted May 11, 2011 Report Share Posted May 11, 2011 hey rup , look you will know of its bordom not deep down . if you really think it could turn into a problem then seek help asap , im not joking . i decided to leave my problem alone and not seek help for a long time and ending up in hell. 5 years on and iv only been out with my m8's about 5 times and nothing seems to work , yet knowing if i seeked help earlier on then it 'would' made ia differance . i dont mean to scare you , but the help is out there and be scared to take that help. it upsets me knowing that there is such a stigma about mental illness , mental illness isnt nothing to be ashamed of . and dont let anyone else treat you differantly hope you get well soon everyone on this website will know how you feel to some degree trust me . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gazmix Posted May 12, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 12, 2011 As i say in see a therapist once a week & anyone else apart from online that i know, i'd have to go in the local bar which i don't want to do! I could fill my time with things i do like cycling or walking but it just feels very lonely! Everyone tells me i need to get involved in things like working amongst people, getting a structure in life & that will improve my self worth & confidence! My feeling of being wanted & important & have some kind of life! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeidiBilger Posted May 14, 2011 Report Share Posted May 14, 2011 go out with your friends, socialize, meet new friends. that way you wouldn't be lonely. ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gazmix Posted May 14, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 14, 2011 I know what you mean Heidi. I guess sometimes what i like to do & what my associates like to do are different! I can go in my local bar & see people i've known years, but most of them i wouldn't know unless i drank with them! I can feel lonely in a bar full of people! I guess it would be different in a work situation where i'd see people everyday & have that kind of socialising. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jades Posted May 14, 2011 Report Share Posted May 14, 2011 r i was u in 2009 i'll tell u marc-74 n i met here as friends supporting eachother n luv blossomed from friendship i moved from the us to london to be wif him never even left my home town except on very few trips n it was a small town support n friendship, being daring in small incriments, trying things outside u, smiling at strangers offering help to others n scheduals n to do lists n someone to inspire me n before it was marc-74 it was roses n loads of others here like badkitten i could go on. today i am confident in love again, have a beautiful baby girl n feel like i'm whole n faking it till u have it works sometimes too. xxxxx hope it helps don't be trapped in ur four walls, i had anxiety so much i was diagnosed agoraphobic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gazmix Posted May 15, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 15, 2011 I think Jades, i'm more trapped in my own body! Just not having the confidence to do the things i want & also the motivation to stride out & help myself in any way. This is causing me to feel that life is passing me by & i'm wasting time. It upsets me as io know i can find inner peace & satisfaction with life if i just tried. :-( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gazmix Posted May 20, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 20, 2011 I just find mornings really hard & come alive at late afternoon. I go a cycle or jog & feel better after, but confidence to do anything else is at an all time low. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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