mitchy Posted May 31, 2005 Report Share Posted May 31, 2005 i know now why i drank. because without it i'm back on the emotional rollercoaster. i can't stand this raw emotion that's going on. it's so very real and so painful. i'm anxious over nothing. i want to cry. i'm depressed. my head is going to explode. i hate this. it's all so very bpd. and i can't stand it. i want to drink right now to take it all away. sorry i haven't replied to anyone over the last few days. i'm all over the place. i'm really struggling. i'm not sure if i'm up to posting tonight either. i just feel so bad. i know all the good reasons for not drinking. but i don't know if i can hold out much longer. the last two nights i wanted to cut just to take away that awful emotion. i don't want to resort to that. i'm hanging on by a thread. sorry to whinge people. i'm scared of the thread snapping. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paula Posted May 31, 2005 Report Share Posted May 31, 2005 hey, you have been doing SO well to get this far. don't give up now. you can do this. we are all here for you. dont worry if you dont feel like posting, just be with us if you want. we are your support. talk to us. we'll help you through. bpd can be very harsh and very cruel, we understand. take things slowly and keep looking forward Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyMacbeth Posted May 31, 2005 Report Share Posted May 31, 2005 Keep fighting Mitchy. You are doing really well. Keep your mind occupied. Here for you. Emmxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lauren Posted May 31, 2005 Report Share Posted May 31, 2005 (((((Mitch)))) I am so impressed. you have amazing courage. The pain and hurt that the alcohol covers up huh? God, I know it hurts. Not sure of the path past that. Where the pain becomes less. Here if you ever want to talk though, seems like we have this bastard thing in common. xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
//Nat\\ Posted May 31, 2005 Report Share Posted May 31, 2005 Mitchy well done hun that is so good - I dont really have anything else ot say as I think it would all be empty words - just try and hang in there and am here for u if u need me xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katherine Posted May 31, 2005 Report Share Posted May 31, 2005 (((((((Mitchy)))))))) here with you/for you.... I understand about the hanging on by a thread, though I've never drunk I can understand where you are, and I wish you safety and protection.. hugs, Katie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mitchy Posted May 31, 2005 Author Report Share Posted May 31, 2005 thanks everyone for your kind words. i'm so anxious i've got an upset and painful stomach. the emotional pain inside is excruciating. think i'd better call the crisis team. as i feel like doing something stupid. and i can't allow that to happen. i really want to get through this. your support means so much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paula Posted May 31, 2005 Report Share Posted May 31, 2005 you CAN get through this. trust me. i've been there so many times. just keep posting. we're here for you. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barebones Posted June 1, 2005 Report Share Posted June 1, 2005 welldone mitchy you can do it! ((( hug ))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katherine Posted June 1, 2005 Report Share Posted June 1, 2005 (((((((Mitchy)))))))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lauren Posted June 1, 2005 Report Share Posted June 1, 2005 How are you today Mitch? xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
debs Posted June 1, 2005 Report Share Posted June 1, 2005 hi mitchy how are you today i know its hard but hang on in there it gets esaier trust me are you getting cravings yes expect you are do you know a craving only lasts a couple of minutes i find when i get like that i try to do something to dsdistract evan ifs it getting a coluring book and coluring it helps its keeping your mind fucussed o something else there for you mitchy love debs :wub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mitchy Posted June 1, 2005 Author Report Share Posted June 1, 2005 i'm doing ok today. went to my support group with 50 greetings cards that i'd made in the past week - my distraction! they're selling really well there and it gives me a boost when everyone says they like my cards. yes, i get cravings. but it's the obliteration i'm after to blot out the emotion. yay, night times suck. i told my support worker i'm nearing danger level. i'm scared of snapping. i do bad things when i snap. thanks everyone. xxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paula Posted June 1, 2005 Report Share Posted June 1, 2005 i make cards, too. i find it really relaxing and love making things for people you're doing really well, keep it up. you have been so strong to get where you are. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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