toaster Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 i have relied on laxatives for a long time. i know all that stuff, they dont work, the damage etc etc but still. i use them. havent had any for a week or so and i am struggling. physically, yanno. seriously uncomfortable. am starting slimming world this week to try and regulate my eating etc etc an hopefully lose some of the weight i have put on. i know they wont approve of me using laxatives or xenical. im a bit gross i suppose. i actually am having a love affair with laxatives and suppositories...i get seriously excited an relieved (no pun there ) if i find any in the house i know...eat proper, fibre, etc fucking etc but there is so much more to it than that. ive been using these things since i was 12. i am now 28. *wonders what shes done to her body* plus these 'habits' r hard to break guess i just want sympathy , understanding and any advice. NO LECTURES OR PREACHING PLEASE - I KNOW IT ALL ALREADY! ty EDIT - ok i dont know it all - but ive had me fair share from doctors, therapists and dieticians lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purple-chick Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 i used laxatives for a lil while, but because i have so many tummy probs i have to be really careful and i also used to take xenical certainly not gonna lecture you, cos when it comes to food, iv had soooo many lectures myself i know what its like!!! guess i dont really have any advise toast as my brains fucked atm, but i can offer plenty of sympathy and understanding iv had ed since i was 12, im 29 now, so bit like you really im actually scared of slimming world and similar places, cos of the fact that i will have to disclose what i eat to them, and my eating habits are awful, i swing between binging and starving anyway i wish you the best of luck with it, you can do it hun!!! and im here if you ever wanna talk about it, or just to slag off food xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piuma Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 keeps her mouth shut well done baby u doin good :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 (((((((((((((((Toast))))))))))))))) I understand. I am still on them and been on them since I was about 17. At my worst (ages between 18 and 20) I was on 20 a day and only started realising I had a problem when someone pointed out I could end up in serious trouble and with a bag and allsorts if I carried on at that volume. At the time I was in way too deep with the bulimia thing and was actually anorexic but taking 20 laxatives and throwing up any tiny morcels I managed to eat so was a weird and confusing time as they say it was bulimia but I never really binged but anyway, yeah I'm on about 2-3 a day at the moment. I have had times when I've managed to get by on only 2-3 every other day or a few times a week but right now I'm on iron tablets too and losing wieght fast so I need to keep regular and I understand about the relief thing, it's like the same relief I get from cutting. I wish I had something helpful to say but I have no idea how to quit this. And yeah, all the healthy eating lectures just sound like white noise to me too.... eat this, eat that...blah blah blah. All it makes me to is panic at the volume of food you have to consume to be deemed healthy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toaster Posted May 8, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 omg yes rose, the amount of food! when i saw the dietician i was HORRIFIED! i was like 'what the fucking fuck?!' plus, it didnt help she was like a size MINUS 0 purpley, there is a chance i will get majorly triggered at slimming world but is time to face it, for me. im FED UP of this. i hate pushing away the triggering thoughts, i hate not being able to manage them. i hate that this is the one thing that still has the power to tip me over the edge. i hate that i hate to love and love to hate food rose i have taken that many laxatives in a day, 20+. id be in agony but it feels so good like purging... i take them now an they have the effect i need...but then i struggle...i hate public toilets, i hate 'going' in them. so , like in college or when volunteering etc... so i end up in total agony but then that makes me blocked and bloated again. so then i need to take more PUN INTENDED - IT'S SHIT! and thank u ((((((((baby)))))))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piuma Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 :bigarmhug[1]: :bigarmhug[1]: :bigarmhug[1]: :bigarmhug[1]: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purple-chick Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 purpley, there is a chance i will get majorly triggered at slimming world but is time to face it, for me. im FED UP of this. i hate pushing away the triggering thoughts, i hate not being able to manage them. i hate that this is the one thing that still has the power to tip me over the edge. i hate that i hate to love and love to hate food well im very proud of you! food has a major hold over me!! at first when i got my pos stomach ulcer i thought great an excuse not to eat.... BUT then when it swung the other way and i majorly wanted to binge... i literally cried cos i could barely fit any food in my tummy!!! how patheitc is that!! let me know how it goes girlie xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 Yeah let me know how it goes too. After 20 a day for 3-4 years I was in major trouble and I guess it's an achievement I get by on as little as I do. They did say that after abusing my bowels that much for that long that I may end up needing some amoutn of laxative for life anyhow, just take one day at a time xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toaster Posted May 8, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 i will do purpley ive had stomach ulcers as well an they are PAINFUL! i have an extremely high pain threshold - walked round with a broken leg for day - but those ulcers make me cry like a baby. an purpley...ur not pathetic and roses, yes...they have prescribed me movocol...the first lot seemed to help but now i have another brand, macrogol...i dunno if the ingredients are different or what but it doesnt work like the movocol! maybe its in me head, maybe i just wanna take a load of laxatives an stuff... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 Yeah, they asked me to try that and I couldn't stick with movovol either, just not the same. I hope it all goes well for you xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purple-chick Posted May 9, 2011 Report Share Posted May 9, 2011 when the people will know about this fact that eating too much do not make you healthy.Eat in balance and digest first whatever you have taken.The excessive use of food can also make you ill.Science also proves that only fill your vitamin and minerals deficiency in body do not fill your body like a basket. people know this, but i dont think lecturing helps, as an eating disorder (whether it be binging starving or both) is a serious prob, and cannot just be stopped because the person is simply told to eat in balance Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jelly-bean Posted May 9, 2011 Report Share Posted May 9, 2011 hi sweethearts, i nearly turned to laxatives too as an answer to my unhealthy eating habbits but i don't know what stopped me through reading what you have gone through im glad i didn't go down that root, i have no answers ya know more about what gets ya a movement then i do hunnie i just want you too know its a brave post hunnie proud of you for wanting to face this demon...... i will some day hopefully be in some sort of position to face my ed demon too hunnie i wish you good luck, don't be to worried about fessing up in slimmers ya might be surpriced to know that alot look for the same ways, and will understand hunnie (((((((huggles))))) and much love xoxox Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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