lauraw2693 Posted May 17, 2011 Report Share Posted May 17, 2011 As the title says.. I know I was freaking out a lot last night about it but I made it to my appointment today and I think I may have a new therapist It's taken me three years to even get my dissociative symptoms taken seriously and no one (NHS) accepts how bad they have become, no one will acknowledge the more extreme side of it it feels like. Now I've found a psychotherapist specialising in dissociative disorders myself and went to see her - she's private but she is willing to offer me a concession so I can afford to go. She seems absolutely lovely and it felt like a relatively safe environment (she sees people from home). Everything she said made so much sense and she was so open with me about her own experiences. That really helped a lot - just to know she actually understood, wasn't just quoting from a textbook. She explained how she worked and said I wouldn't have to go into any detail I didn't want to or couldn't. I knew I had a good feeling about her but I felt like bursting into tears on the spot - it felt like the first time anyone in rl has really understood and could maybe even help me. I'm so used to feeling like a hopeless case, this just completely overwhelmed me. I couldn't cry because I wouldn't let myself but she did, saying she isn't scared to show her emotions and it's likely talking about my experiences will move her to tears but that's a good thing. I quite liked that, that she was so open and honest with me, so raw, didn't seem like she was trying too hard to come across as a "professional" to help me, it felt more equal, one human being talking and relating to another. Maybe it's a bit uncommon but think that will help me a lot more, I appreciate people being upfront with me. So anyway, she's left it up to me to think about it and go back to her but want to email her already and say yes - I'm never this sure about anything, this is new to me That was the other thing - she said I could email as much as I needed between sessions as well which I really like - it doesn't just feel like one hour a week and I have to cope myself the rest of the time. She seems to genuinely care and genuinely understand, I don't think I've ever come across that before in a professional. Just wanted to share because I actually came out feeling positive and with a teeny tiny bit of hope that maybe there is someone on this planet that can help me afterall :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dibley Posted May 17, 2011 Report Share Posted May 17, 2011 Really pleased for you. Seems like you have found a good person, rather than just someone doing a job. I hope it works out and that eventually you are able to cope with your alters. x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steph.mcg Posted May 17, 2011 Report Share Posted May 17, 2011 im really happy for you! thats awesome. well done you for finding her too!! xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canadianbumble Posted May 17, 2011 Report Share Posted May 17, 2011 I really hope this works for you , being quizzed about dissociation at the mo and don't feel good about it at all. Dunno whats to come of it? Really really hope you get the help that you neeed. xxxxxxx Bumble Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted May 17, 2011 Report Share Posted May 17, 2011 I'm really pleased you have had such a good day and that another door has opened up for you xxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chorse_70 Posted May 17, 2011 Report Share Posted May 17, 2011 Yay good for you! Now comes the big part. You got to share with her all the things you can because only then can a good Therapist help you. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jam-parker Posted May 17, 2011 Report Share Posted May 17, 2011 ShadowoftheDay, Well done for going and I hope it continues to be of real benefit for you. Hugs Jamie xxx. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauraw2693 Posted May 17, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 17, 2011 Thanks for all the replies said yes now, just waiting for her reply xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrippleAndStarfish Posted May 17, 2011 Report Share Posted May 17, 2011 Speechless ( for real this time!!!) So happy for you hun, can't see for the tears. Bless your heart, so so glad you've found this lady. she sounds incredible. ((((((((((((((((((((Shadow))))))))))))))))))) Love and hugs and squishes and more love xxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jades Posted May 17, 2011 Report Share Posted May 17, 2011 Speechless ( for real this time!!!) So happy for you hun, can't see for the tears. Bless your heart, so so glad you've found this lady. she sounds incredible. ((((((((((((((((((((Shadow))))))))))))))))))) Love and hugs and squishes and more love xxxxxxxxxxx echoes but i won't lie i have a big mouth get used to it hehe i have did n no one would even explain it to me when i was diagnosed nor help i personally when i notice a change put in headphones n emotionally invest or become the artist with a song that fits who i am at the time only a few songs then i move to another song to bring me back grounded its a coping mechanism u learned now learn to cop with it to ur benifit until u can become whole xxx chuffed 4 u hope my suggestion helps n also u can bring urself out with holding a an ice cube till it melts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauraw2693 Posted May 17, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 17, 2011 Awww thank you Crip, you're gonna get me started now! I text my support worker this evening because she's been so supportive of me seeing his woman I wanted to let her know - not sure if I should have text on an evening but meh something went right I wanted to tell her something good for once much much love for you and squishes too my lovely Thank you for your suggestion Jades.. I haven't technically been diagnosed with it - I've been diagnosed with a dissociative disorder, they haven't specified which yet, but my care plan says about considering DID diagnosis in the future (maybe because I'm still quite young, not sure?) I don't really care about the label anyway, I know what happens for me and as long as I'm getting help with it that's enough for me. Most of me does think it is and several professionals seem to now Thanks for your suggestions though, will definitely try them.. xxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted May 17, 2011 Report Share Posted May 17, 2011 She sounds amazing, i'm so happy for you. A lot of therapist dont tell you anything about them personally but it can make a real difference. its nice of her to give you a concession too, it shows how much she really wants to help and thats really special too. if you really feel you want to email her and say yes theres no reason why you shouldnt but sometimes when i want to send an important email straight away i write it and save it as a draft so i've said what i need to say but i have got more time to think before i send it xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pepsimeg Posted May 18, 2011 Report Share Posted May 18, 2011 wow thats wonderful shadow. she sounds fantastic, can you give me her number Im really pleased that at last you feel able to communicate and be accepted, its really really great I know what its like to get the help you finally need after years of not being listened too, emogirl xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pepsimeg Posted May 18, 2011 Report Share Posted May 18, 2011 our T is not as open but we like it that way, we dont like any emotions to be shown, none of that 'ahh poor you that must of hurt'....yuk yuk no emotions please and definately none of that 'oh ive been thru this and that too, i know how it feels" excuse me ? whos therapy is it anyway ? hmmm soz just expressing our opinions but glad the therapist is the one for you thats what matters hun A & A Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauraw2693 Posted May 18, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 18, 2011 Thanks Emma & Emo.. Yes it does make a difference to me, my counsellor is like that too, not to the same extent though really.. But it helps me open up when I know someone really does understand, they're not just saying it. Yeah probably should have waited to send the email, I was a bit overwhelmed I think yesterday But oh well it's done and we've set up a regular time Aww Emo I would but might be a bit far for you to come?! No apology necessary lovely, you're all entitled to express your opinions I think she is the one for me, well hopefully, never been this positive about a therapist before at least xxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pepsimeg Posted May 18, 2011 Report Share Posted May 18, 2011 so glad all feels right, its a good start ^_^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauraw2693 Posted May 18, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 18, 2011 All doesn't feel right anymore.. counselling's shaken things up inside :unsure: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted May 18, 2011 Report Share Posted May 18, 2011 ((((((Shadow))))) i hope you feel better soon. Counselling can be like that sometimes, it feels horrible at the time but i'm sure its helping in the long run. i hope things feel settled down again soon xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauraw2693 Posted May 18, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 18, 2011 :unsure: I really said too much.. Feel like someone inside is crying :blink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jades Posted May 18, 2011 Report Share Posted May 18, 2011 like ur name they r shadows hiding in u sounds like a child to me sooth him/her with a cry or a happy childlike activity to let him/her know it's ok to talk about it no ones gonna hurt u u wont let em anymore hope it helps don't shut off xxxx :wub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauraw2693 Posted May 19, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 19, 2011 :unsure: I don't know how to comfort anyone else inside when i'm not entirely convinced myself I won't be hurt again Now would be a good time for any protector part to step up <_< Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pepsimeg Posted May 19, 2011 Report Share Posted May 19, 2011 Shadow others will be scared and upset, keep going along to therapy and in time they will start to feel at ease, i know how upsetting it can get, likejade says just keep reassuring them, or maybe do something that makes them feel safe (cant give u the answers to that one but try and find something) some of mine like to listen to music or just b alone with something that makes them feel safe. One of mine likes to hide in a corner for a while, huggled up in a nice warm blanket ! emogirl xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauraw2693 Posted May 19, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 19, 2011 Think one of mine may be similar Emo, a lot of the time after blanking out I'm curled up in the corner of a room crying No idea how I got there or why I'm upset. I keep drawing as well when I'm out of it so I guess one likes to draw, but it freaks me out what they draw sometimes I have a cuddly out for them that I had when I was little, I can't think how else to comfort them when they feel so separate. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pepsimeg Posted May 19, 2011 Report Share Posted May 19, 2011 a cuddly toy too yeah is great, just leave some around where 'they' can see them, it may help, i think i told you what happened in therapy with a toy, it helped A communicate ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jades Posted May 19, 2011 Report Share Posted May 19, 2011 ther's a thing called autowritting phsychics used it for centuries like a oiji board while i think and firmly believe oiji boards are a link a door for evil autowritting n autodrawing are a way to tap into the unconscious mind but take it with a grain of salt n realize ur mind has created seperate u's n they may want to play games what u do is write a question when u feel someones popping up n try to disociate or meditate n start writting words without ur conscious mind interfering or do it thru doodling without looking at the paper sounds to me like ur unconsious is trying to sooth them by themselves but ur concious doesn't know whats happening or what they're trying to say to u it's a shot doen't work for everyone n it takes practice i came across it by accident along time ago when i found a note in my home when i lived alone that didn't resemble my writting n it scared the pants off me but u figure ur way thru the best u can xxx edit ment psychics n oracles like the oracle of delphi oh n don't lose u ur the main u these r sub u's Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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