Christine001 Posted May 17, 2011 Report Share Posted May 17, 2011 empty, numb, nothingness, how many more years please god how many more? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addy2 Posted May 17, 2011 Report Share Posted May 17, 2011 (((Christine))), sorry you are struggling so much i hope things get better for you soon.xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jelly-bean Posted May 17, 2011 Report Share Posted May 17, 2011 hey hun just wanted to give you a safe ((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))) xox Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted May 18, 2011 Report Share Posted May 18, 2011 ((((((((((((((((((((Christine)))))))))))))))))))))))) so sorry for your pain. Please keep safe and call crisis if you need to hun, we are all here for you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
icu_baby Posted May 18, 2011 Report Share Posted May 18, 2011 I am so sorry you are feeling so low christine. I know the feeling of numbness all to well. I hope that you will get better soon. Lots of love xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine001 Posted May 18, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 18, 2011 thank you for the replies, yes saw your thread icu, though too much for me to read feel the same. supposed to be at work now but just woke up and dont want to go but must. whow this is hard going. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canadianbumble Posted May 18, 2011 Report Share Posted May 18, 2011 ((((Christine)))) understand that how much more and when's it going to change feeling. I wish I had more fingers that I could keep crossed for all of us. Yes when gone beyond a certain point all that is left is numbness. sorry this is the way it is for you. I really hope things change for the better for you soon. xxx bumble Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pepsimeg Posted May 18, 2011 Report Share Posted May 18, 2011 christine sorry to hear u r struggling so much (((hugs))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine001 Posted May 18, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 18, 2011 i am so tired, slept all day, got to be the quetiapine, but drowsiness should have worn off by now, kids come home soon dont know how to cope, didnt go to work, nothing has changed. i cant cope oh shit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
icu_baby Posted May 19, 2011 Report Share Posted May 19, 2011 thank you for the replies, yes saw your thread icu, though too much for me to read feel the same. supposed to be at work now but just woke up and dont want to go but must. whow this is hard going. Hi Christine, since I wrote my post I have been to see my psychiatrist and I am feeling a bit better or more accurately, I have moved to more bearable emotions if I can put it that way. So I just wanted to say that even though you feel like you are in the shit now some relief will come to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine001 Posted May 20, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 20, 2011 here again self destructing and knowing thats what I want for myself. every other weekend i have this opportunity as kids at dads. through the week i have been to work for a few hours felt ok but here now feel as though there is nothing and dont want anything, want to hurt myself and i dont want to change this. cant do anything final, though want to, due to children and my commitement to try to be stable to get regular therapy, but tonight i want to get drunk and sh, dont want to stop because i have nothing, know i will never have anything but this void in my heart, too late for me really guys thats true. like to help you all and dont want to hurt anyone else but life is just a chore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drybones Posted May 20, 2011 Report Share Posted May 20, 2011 I can't think of advice but just wanted to ask you to take care and stay safe Keep posting if it helps :bigarmhug[1]: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine001 Posted May 20, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 20, 2011 ta hun but what is there to say that hasnt been said i drone on and on and on and on, maybe oneday i will have to courage of my convictions eh, dont read this shit feeling sorry for myself and drunk thats all. tommorrow i will be here again its completelt pathetic. Pathetic Christine, so alone so ussless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canadianbumble Posted May 21, 2011 Report Share Posted May 21, 2011 Hey Christine, hope you don't have too much of a hangover. You know you've identified the weekends whilst your children are away as the ones where you extra struggle with yourself. Do you think it might be an idea when you are in a better frame of mind to put something in place like an action plan for those days when you know you are going to be alone? When left to my own devices this is a bad time for me. Maybe you could cement n some time with friends or activites which make sure you can't think too much . Dunno now is probably not the right time to discuss that but it was a thought. Anyways hope you're going to be ok today. As ever thinking of you. xxx Bumble Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine001 Posted May 21, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 21, 2011 Yes bumble that would be the sensible thing to do. I told one friend I was seeing the other and vice versa so they wouldnt be concerned about me or bother me. seems i want this unsafe time and want to suffer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted May 21, 2011 Report Share Posted May 21, 2011 (((((Christine)))))) i hope your feeling better today sometimes you just really need to be on your own even if its not good for you. if you are with people all the time theres so much pressure to be happy and even if thats how you want to feel pretending to be happy is hard work. Sometimes you just need to have time where you just feel. And i don't want to get in trouble for writing this and i hope it doesnt trigger anyone but sometimes when i feel really bad i just remind myself of when my parents are going to be out and tell myself to keep going until then and then i'll be able to do something if i need to. I don't do anything but when i am alone i just let myself feel sad and feel whatever i need to feel and tell myself that if i need to do something now, i can. its just comforting in a weird way to know the option is there if i need it even tho i hope i never take that option. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine001 Posted May 21, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 21, 2011 tonight back to the drink, cut early, funny how i can be writing on others posts and feeling so shit myself. was going to start a thread on masochism but its already been said. i am a masochist not in a sexual way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canadianbumble Posted May 21, 2011 Report Share Posted May 21, 2011 no I can understand I am by myself and doing me no good have just found something very bad but hey. yes being alone we need it but is bad but still we need it it still the hurt but still it has to happen. what is that? but try to be safe? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jam-parker Posted May 22, 2011 Report Share Posted May 22, 2011 Christine001, I hope you can keep saying it even if there is nothing new to add. You have a supporter in me. Jamie xxx. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine001 Posted May 22, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 22, 2011 oh jamie, i wish it was all over but it cant be for the innocent children i brought into the world. its so hard jamie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jam-parker Posted May 22, 2011 Report Share Posted May 22, 2011 oh jamie, i wish it was all over but it cant be for the innocent children i brought into the world. its so hard jamie I know you feel like that now, it can't be like that forever. I used to drink heavily and did for many years. So I know what you mean and have been to the edge and only just managed to come back many times. You can get better you know, things can be improved. Unfortunately it all comes down to you. Until that day comes keep talking, keep hanging on. Jamie xxx. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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