Benway Posted May 18, 2011 Report Share Posted May 18, 2011 This is a bit mad. I have a psych i hate. He is cruel & dominating, he scares me. And he HATES me- (he worked with the worst case addicts place in the city, Last wed. I saw him and in short, left crying. Last night I was bored, an stuck his name into google... what comes up... Stuff about how he is a dominatrix- and all this far out shit, He is quite nasty in temprament, no heart at all, pure cold & dominating- now i know why the **** gives me the shivers!!! He says in one post- his fav sub girl is a 'borderline personality disorder with dependance issues!!!!!!!" I shit you not, my evil psych is a kinkster!!! And sayin stuff like he 'has access' to those electric pads a hosp uses for heart monitoring, (the plastic circly things) - wants them for a TENS machine- he is into causing pain- omg its soooo FUCKED UP!!! There is something so slimy about him. Last week i saw him last wed, he was really horrible to me, threatning to take me off the meds i like , just for power- i knew it! Its defo him - references to 'working as a psychiatrist', even down to 'i just moved in to a house (my area) And that he has a spare room & is kitting it out as his dungeon. I spent the day laughing at it, then being a bit fucked up over it. Am i just 'not liberal' that i find it unsettling??? Thanks, xx a.m Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrippleAndStarfish Posted May 18, 2011 Report Share Posted May 18, 2011 Babe, am fockin' shoite with words right now, but your feelings on it have nothing to do with not being liberal enough. I know it would fuck with me big time too. Is he private or what? any ideas if you're wanting to do something about this, or are you just wanting to be heard? huge hugs and big love from Smogland xxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benway Posted May 18, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 18, 2011 He's not private. NHS equiv. I don't know what i want to do. My t says to report him! (she hates the psychs cos they give me drugs!) Personally i'd love to wreck his head- but thats the bpd a.m talkin- the 'old' me. I intend to do things in future with eyes wide open- as i get myself into the oddest situations. I think i 'should' do nothing, and if he starts asking me why - i'll tell him i kno all about him -an i don't want him near me. I wanted to see the other psych last week but he wouldn't let me. The first time i met him was in A&E in approx 02-03, and he got very personal details about me- he asked. Then he disappeared for a while, to re-emerge as a registrar last June. It's just a weird one. Thanks (crip) take care, xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jelly-bean Posted May 18, 2011 Report Share Posted May 18, 2011 woahhhhh! alarm bells are a ringing, can you not put in for a different pdoc? this is not liberal thinking if he is putting things like that on the internet, he is spose to be a professional, and that don't sound any bit professional at all, if you can google it so can his peers and bosses, it sounds very disturbing to me ......... ((((hugs)))) hun Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doormouse Posted May 18, 2011 Report Share Posted May 18, 2011 Ok - regardless of what he is like as a doctor, he could get into very big trouble for having all that stuff out on the internet, accessible to everyone. What he does in private is up to him - but thats exactly what it should be - PRIVATE! I have to "hide" my facebook profile, even be a bit careful with my identity on here in case I meet anyone as a patient or as a doctor. What he gets up to, in a sense is not the issue, - its very common for patients to google their doctors, and it is HIS responsibility to ensure that what they find is appropriate. I'd suggest talking to the Patient Advice and Liason service (PALS, or whatever equivalent the hospital or trust has)You are not being prudish or vindictive or anything like that - you are not going to be the only one who has found this stuff and it needs sorting. Mousexx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benway Posted May 18, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 18, 2011 Thank you jelly & doormouse for the input. I googled his name, and came accross a site called 'dont date him girl.com, and some US girl had put his name up, followed by 3 online identities he uses. The profiles i found on him are back to 09, and i would put my house on thats its him- he has an irish firstname. I am really suprised at finding all that stuff. Flabbergasted. He mentions occy health, that he has had a few needlesticks and dosent report- just does a test on himself & the patient 'under the radar' I don't have PALS here, mouse, but i guess if i looked i could find the appropriate authority to report him to. Thanks again, (mouse) & (jelly). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piuma Posted May 18, 2011 Report Share Posted May 18, 2011 hey hunny, if you can prove the shit u found on him, i would compile it together and put in a complaint, and asked to reffered to someone else, im thinking and maybe this is just me, but i think for your safety and sanity, you'd be better off with no psyche than one like that. So at risk of losing the psyche I would consult your care team and ask for a refferal. The other thing you could do, is next session record the session, dont get angry or anything that they could use against you, but try to lead him so he gives u the evidence you need. You can surely do better without people like that in your life that are meant to be your care provider. just my thoughts. It does not sound healthy, and threatening to take the meds u may like the most is just wrong, as the reason i suspect you like them is because they are addictive or give you some relief, I suspect you need those meds to avoid others things, and threatening you with taking you off them, is a power mind game, cos in all reality u need them meds! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toaster Posted May 18, 2011 Report Share Posted May 18, 2011 *agrees wiv what everyone else says* u can record in secret, AM...i did wiv my last counsellor, i downloaded a recorder for my fone, but most fones have a recordin ability on them he sounds .... worrying to say the least! ppl like that shud not b in postions of power *hugs* xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted May 18, 2011 Report Share Posted May 18, 2011 I definately think he needes reporting and this woulda shook me up big time too. I would take all your info to PLS to make this complaint and ask them the put forward proposal to change psyche too hun xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jades Posted May 18, 2011 Report Share Posted May 18, 2011 I definately think he needes reporting and this woulda shook me up big time too. I would take all your info to PLS to make this complaint and ask them the put forward proposal to change psyche too hun xxx agreed here now the route i'd go is do what toasty bits suggested but if u don't want to put urself near the psycho get the web addresses n go to police station n ask for someone to help ur a "vulnerable adult" n need to see someone who can help u not take mental abuse u can get him shut down as well n they will be sensative to it but so they don't think ur mental making things up bring any evidence u can n i holds ur hand infact i'll shrink meself n be in ur pocket, don't squish me lol :wub: :wub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowman Posted May 18, 2011 Report Share Posted May 18, 2011 Deffo police or report him under safeguarding vulnerable adults at your cmht/ health authority. I've done this for a cpn who was improper towards me. I had to write a statement but then they just dealt with it....... Pls get it sorted and get away from him...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canadianbumble Posted May 18, 2011 Report Share Posted May 18, 2011 Firstly I think I would collate this information and I would send it anonomously from a library computer or one where you can't be traced to the police and to the Hospital at which he works or the governing body wherever the hell it is going to make sure that he is going to be struck off. He is using his status as an abuse of power I find it sickening as he has the potential to wreck a vulnerable persons life more than it already is. I am really shocked beyond belief. Def change your psych, you need someone you can trust . Hope it works out ok AM. xxx B Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benway Posted May 18, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 18, 2011 Hi , thank you for more feedback. Its odd not knowing 'how to feel' about something. I was a bit unsettlled / freaked... but then thought 'oh its his 'lifestyle choice' - i am just a square. Thanks for validating my thinking. ty (((pie))) - he was trying to take me off the dothepin, a tricyclic that helps me sleep and calm anxiety. Now i think he just wanted to see me cry. I did some more 'research' last night, and found more of the same stuff. I have a good few pages of it now. Plus his d.o.b, & other personal info. ((toasty))T.Y> It will test my journo skills, i am not seeing them again until the middle of next month. My ipod has a record function on it. I am thinkin he likes the power. I have a direct quote from him- " E.g. I once had a sub who had a massive pain tolerance. No matter what she got she could take more. The trick with her was that she really needed to know she was the focus of my attention. End result, when she failed in a task she was simply ignored and starved of the focus and attention she desired. If it got very bad she was given corner time or just locked in a room out of my sight" And re: bein a sadist - "Sometimes I'm wrecked and want to just take it easy and chill, sometimes in past relationship my sub would have had a hard day and just want to talk about it, cuddle up and watch a movie and then other days they might come to me with a paddle or cane and ask for a caning ... or just mess up badly and require corrective punishment... or I might just want to be a little sadistic for no better reason than that I felt like it that day ." "Most people here ( myself included ) will easily deserve a diagnosis of a sexual fetish/sadism/masochism. Would we get sectioned for it? Not in my country, thankfully, but you could in some countries which are a bit less live and let live. " And there is plenty more where that came from... ((roses)) - the more i find out, the more i want away from him. I never want to sit in a small room with him again, he is a big man, and quite intimidating. ((jades)) - ty for the reply, I feel sorry for the female patients he has under lock & key in the HDU, i am of the opinion now that this dude is scary an should not be let near any vunerable woman, by the admission himself he likes a bit of sadism now & then. ((snow)) ty, It must have been a headf**k to report your CPN, I will ask frances(t) who i should report him too. I have compiled quite a dossier at this stage- unfortunately. I appreciate your support & time ppls. HOW do i ALWAYS get into odd situations like this. *sigh* xxx a.m Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benway Posted May 18, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 18, 2011 ((((bumble)))) we cross-posted. I have an option to leave the 'psych service' and switch my psych care to the 'community addiction team'. I have seen their psych before, a consultant female, who is very pleasant. I have not done this yet, my t was asking me if i would, nd i am seriously considering it now. Because i have a feeling that those drs will all gang up on me, or take me off my meds, or do something like that. I like your idea of the anon route too. Bumble i too am quite shocked. Sending you hugs , love, xx a.m Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bibiddi Posted May 18, 2011 Report Share Posted May 18, 2011 I would suggest getting all the stuff you have on him, and also write why you have a problem with him (not including the internet stuff) his behaviour in your psych appointments and give it to whoever deals with the complaints. Your CPN says to make the complaint, ask her to talk you through the process. I know you talked about it may be your bpd talking - your old you, but all you are doing is compiling what has happened, and leaving it to the authorities to deal with. It is them who will make any necessary decisions. Scary stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted May 18, 2011 Report Share Posted May 18, 2011 I don't have any advice for you but i just want to send hugs (((((((Anne Marie))))))), i don't think it is your bpd talking, i think its a natural human reaction that most people would feel if they found out what you have found out. I agree you should report him and its good you have your cpn and t are supporting you, when i have complained about things i have had no support and it has been twisted to make me look bad, thats much harder to do if you have professional ppl on your side xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benway Posted May 18, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 18, 2011 Hi (bibiddi) and thanks for answering Yea, i had been thinking it was the 'old' me, the one who starts things without thinking, carries grudges and likes to stir it a bit for the craic. But i feel that he is creepy, and should not be around anyone as a psych with sadistic tendencies. ((emma)) thanks as well, I am def going to take it further, I will call my t tommorrow ,she works then, and have a chat with her. Its very surreal... cheers & thanks, hugs xx am p.s.- out of possy points . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jades Posted May 18, 2011 Report Share Posted May 18, 2011 sorry missed the last reply but i was so enfuriated i have to say he sounds like he's painting u as an addict n using it to negate his mind games cause u have mh problems n he's playing a sick game cause he knows u have sexuality issues n sounds like he's grooming u for a possible abuse get the hell away n i stress save the other women at it too n children ur a mum and a soldier at heart not to boot a paddy girl u don't take crap! get on it n save urself n ur name from him screwing ur chances with the nhs don't want to make u paranoid but he could have other sickos in the nhs as friends this is sacandalus n if no one will help then perhaps domestic advisor thru solice or womensaid or idva couldn't tell u what it stands for but sure someone will know my first friend think strategy best of luck n keep in touch :wub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doormouse Posted May 18, 2011 Report Share Posted May 18, 2011 Sounds like your T is going to be able to help you change psychs - maybe she can help you submit a complaint too? You shouldn't need to worry about "comeback" from any other doctors, thats what submitting a complaint via the whole complaints procedure should protect you from. I'd advise against trying to tape/record him though - just speaking from an "inside" perspective, I'd say that was more likely to be used against you rather than him - and also means you'd have to see him again, which hopefully can be avoided! What you have is more than enough, and he's likely to face disciplinary action, possibly even dragged up in front of a fitness to practice panel. Not because of his 'lifestyle choice' - but because he allows it to interfere with his work by not being responsible about what information is available to his patients. (Not in any sense defending his behaviour!) Keeping my fingers crossed for you Mousex Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bibiddi Posted May 18, 2011 Report Share Posted May 18, 2011 I just remembered - I never see my psych on my own - my CPN always insists on coming in with me. Can you ask if yours will come too? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benway Posted May 18, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 18, 2011 Hi again- I am really thankful for all your responses, thank you. TBH i don't want to sit in a room with him ever again, not that i have read how his mind works. My t is from a different service- here we have community psych, community addiction, etc- and my t is from the addiction side. So it would be highly unusual for my t to sit in in an appt. Am starting to get a little worried & anx. bout this- yesterday-at first- i thought it was hilarious in one way, yet a tad unsettling...Then the more i read the more i KNOW he should not be a psych registrar working with vunerable females. I will think before i act, and get counsel from my t about who & how i would go about this- she dosen't work wed. Thank you all very much for your advice. I am really suprised that i could easily find this stuff. Last year when my cat went missing in july i had a relapse for maybe 2 weeks max on drugs. He inferred something (well, he said it straight out actually) very degrading as to how i got money for drugs- i remember it stung me and getting upset at him then too. Thinking thinking thinking of the conversations i have had with him, trying to not get freaked out too much, i am very stable & doing well atm(10mths cln/sober) an i really don't want to fuck this little bit of contentment i have with life up. Thanks again i will keep yous posted, xxx a.m Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jades Posted May 18, 2011 Report Share Posted May 18, 2011 u fought how many days for sobriety? thats harder than anything u could ever go thru don't let him rock ur boat hun, tip his over! n remember ur heads clearer u worked for that despite him! u earned ur right to say life can be shit but i survived n this man is trying to put me back in the whole for his sadistic pleasure n sadly enough loads of mh docs have issues themselves but loads use it to sort them n others don't fall for jedi mind tricks hun go paddy go paddy girl! yeah ur cool n u know it! :wub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benway Posted May 19, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 19, 2011 :ashamed0005: Jades!!!!! Ah, but seriously, I am okay for once. Ty for the compliments. *scarlett* paddy girl !!! psml! You'r a pure buzzer so ye are. An i am enjoying this unexpected bout of 'contentment' .yoga, meditation , reiki all help An NO fucken jedi mind games will get me, i am on it . xxxxxxxxxxxx (((jades))) you should come over, the queen loves it here!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jades Posted May 19, 2011 Report Share Posted May 19, 2011 Jades!!!!! Ah, but seriously, I am okay for once. Ty for the compliments. *scarlett* paddy girl !!! psml! You'r a pure buzzer so ye are. An i am enjoying this unexpected bout of 'contentment' .yoga, meditation , reiki all help An NO fucken jedi mind games will get me, i am on it . xxxxxxxxxxxx (((jades))) you should come over, the queen loves it here!!!! hehe good n i imagine she does everyone has been told to be nice behave or their in jail hehe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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