lonelyheartemma Posted May 26, 2011 Report Share Posted May 26, 2011 theres nothing i want to do. there are things i usually enjoy and i suppose i could make myself do them but i wouldnt enjoy them so theres no point really. just been sitting on the computer doing nothing for 3 hours, i'll do the same this evening only for longer. that's not life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
galupy Posted May 26, 2011 Report Share Posted May 26, 2011 i can totally relate. i do that all the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drybones Posted May 26, 2011 Report Share Posted May 26, 2011 i get this too wish i could stop it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted May 27, 2011 Report Share Posted May 27, 2011 (((((((((((((((((((((((emma, galupy, bones)))))))))))))))))))))))) I only get this when I'm at breaking point as I try to do everything and anything but when I'm at "that" point I just sit on the floor and stare out the window and you are right it is no life. I'm so sorry that you are feeling this way at the moment Emma, is there anything you want to talk about? Do you know why you are feeling this way? xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted May 27, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 27, 2011 just everything really I had some online friends but it looks like there not talking to me. 1 of them is coming to see me soon but she won't say which day, she only replied to 1 of my emails recently and that was to tell me off for gossiping about ryan giggs, she says its not my business who hes sleeping with! well she kind of has a point I suppose. then there was a girl whos at my college doing the course i want to start in september, we were emailing every day but now shes not replying to me. then theres another girl i know online, she writes stories and i comment on them and say how much i like them, she ignored my last comment. she's just an amazing writer and i really want to be friends with her. I want friends but its so hard being with people. i really want to go to the meet up ppl are arranging but i can't commit to it, it depends how i feel on the day and even if i feel good i usually feel ill if i try to something stressful like travelling, when i try to travel i often end up needing to go to hospital. my mum has decided i can't go to my dads birthday dinner, i don't know why i'm upset about that coz i was dreading it but i was thinking about ways of making it easier and now she says i'm not welcome. my parents are going to this fete thing at the weekend, they got me a ticket but now they are discoraging me from going. it sounds really good, theres farm animals there and clothes shops. I really wanted to make friends on my hairdressing course but i had to give it up and the tutor hasnt written to see if i'm ok or if i'm coming back. I knew she didnt like me but it still hurts. I kind of want to go out and do things but i feel very weak and ill, feel faint all the time. so i can't really go out on my own but theres no one to go out with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elke Posted May 27, 2011 Report Share Posted May 27, 2011 Sounds like exactly what I am going through. Just want to say your not alone, have no advise though. x Elke Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted May 27, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 27, 2011 ((((Elke))))) its a shame we're not in the same country xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaddieT Posted May 27, 2011 Report Share Posted May 27, 2011 Hi Emma, Thats a lot of stuff to think about and a lot on your mind. Do you have any support from the MHT and anyone you can talk through this all with (apart from us lovely lot of course!) Its really hard when you feel let down by people especially when you have supported them and/or always kept in regular contact. There may be a legitimiate reason why these people haven't been in touch - this doesn't mean its right and it may be co-incidental it has just all happened at once honey Do you know why your mum and dad don't want you to come along - seems a bit strange why your mum got you a ticket and then said you can't go???? Sorry i don't have any advice - brain is a bit fuzzled this week but sending you a big hug :bigarmhug[1]: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted May 27, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 27, 2011 Hi Maddie, thank you i asked the doctor to refer me to the mht last week so i'm waiting to hear from them but it could be a while and i don't think they can support me until they've given me a cpn or some other support person. I havent got anyone else to talk to but you lovely lot are probably the best people i can talk to because you understand when my mum got me a ticket i don't think she knew how involved in the fete she and my dad were going to be, theyd both been asked to help out by their workplaces but they didnt know what theyd be doing exactly. Now they do know theyll be quite busy. so if i go and feel ill or anxious they won't be able to take me home or even take me off into a corner. i think thats probably why they dont want me to go, tho they are probably also worried about me embarasing them. But there will be ambulance people there so i could always go to them if i felt really bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaddieT Posted May 27, 2011 Report Share Posted May 27, 2011 Hi Emma, Thats good that the GP has referred you and i hope you get the support that you feel is right for you. Its a shame that you can't go to the fete but i can also see your mum and dad's perspective of them trying to do the right thing and not expose you to any more stress and/or anxiety, but you can't be wrapped up in cotton wool - being a parent myself it is a constant battle getting it right and babies don't come with an instruction manual until they are 18!! Mayb'e have a chat with them and go through what you posted and see what they say - perhaps there is someone who could come along with you which would put their fears to rest? If not why not have a duvet day where you have the opportunity to catch up on all those cheesy flicks, big bag of popcorn and catch up on some you time - i love those days occasionally - dont know where you are living but our weather forecast is pants for the weekend so we are going to have a movie day xxx Maddie x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
berenger Posted May 27, 2011 Report Share Posted May 27, 2011 I know a bit of how you feel lhemma, i feel let down by people and i've lost so called friends recently. It hurts and has caused me pain. I hope with time these feelings will go away. Its good you went to see the doc and he's referring you on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted May 27, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 27, 2011 (((((berenger)))))) i'm sorry you feel that way too. losing friends is so hard. there isnt anyone who could go with me Maddie, theres no one i know well enough really. but you're right, i can have a lot of fun being home on my own. I hope you enjoy your movie day, what are you going to watch? xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrippleAndStarfish Posted May 27, 2011 Report Share Posted May 27, 2011 ((((((((((((((((Emma)))))))))))))))) No words atm sweetie, but want to send you some love and hugs. xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted May 27, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 27, 2011 Thank you (((((Crippie))))). love and hugs to you too, so sorry things are bad for you xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Villan Posted May 27, 2011 Report Share Posted May 27, 2011 it's pants when things get poopy and you right dont deserve this stuff... you are one of the nicest, kindest, most supportive people here and i bet you'd make a really great friend... i know the feeling of the pointlessness of life too... and i hope that you see a lil glimmer of light in your darkness soon, cos that you DO deserve hun... i agree, maybe your parents are doing what they think you want, cos you've been through alot recently... maybe if you explain your contingency plan to them, they will be less worried about you going... is it something you can talk to them about at all...? if not then a duvet day sounds great - get some treats and indulge yourself... xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaddieT Posted May 27, 2011 Report Share Posted May 27, 2011 Hi Emma, First up is the new Tangled DVD and then later when kids are in bed then the honeymoon as i want to go and see the new one thats out - in between prob star wars and indiana jones and Jeff Dunham (hilarious american ventroloquist) - coped okay with ballet that i went to with Tara this week as first time out with lots of people for a while but to be honest was distracted with Tara in her tutu and fairy wings and this really camp guy behind me giving us the lowdown on the young guys in tights lol (by the way one of my best friends is gay and he laughed his head off when i told him and i am defo not homopohobic!!!) Whatever you do sweetie tray and have a good day xx Big hugs to Crippie - sounds like you are having a tough time sweetie and just want you to know am thinking of u xxxxx Maddie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted May 28, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 28, 2011 I hope you enjoyed your movie day Maddie I went to the fete thing and i really enjoyed it, my parents did the morning then they came back to collect me and we spent a couple of hours there. there were lots of animals to see, they were lovely and they all seemed really happy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaddieT Posted May 29, 2011 Report Share Posted May 29, 2011 Hi Emma, I am so glad you managed to get to the fete in the afternoon with your parents - sounds like great fun - I know one little 4 year old who would of liked to of come too Maddie x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ntt14 Posted May 29, 2011 Report Share Posted May 29, 2011 I've only just read this post so won't go back over old ground. Just wanted to say that I'm glad you found a way and went to the fete. Don't beat yourself up about friends, from what I've read anyone would be lucky to call you a friend. I think you should be proud of yourself. You actively do things to meet new friends, you find a way to do things and how to cope if it gets hard. You're not just feeling bad but hiding from it all. And it turned out ok xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drybones Posted May 29, 2011 Report Share Posted May 29, 2011 Thats great you got to the fete after all I wonder if the animals liked all the attention people gave them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaddieT Posted May 29, 2011 Report Share Posted May 29, 2011 Just realised i put honeymoon on my post - meant HANGOVER ! What a dumbass i am - am always doing that getting my words wrong but always somehow connected!! Maddie :confused: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted May 31, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 31, 2011 thank you The animals seemed okay with all the attention, i think some of them were really loving it! they didnt seem obviously unhappy tho it is probably hard to tell if you dont know them. maddie i do that too all the time, i say different words that sound similar or opposite words, it can be so embarasing! i've heard the hangover is really funny but i havent watched it coz it sounds like it might have people throwing up in it, i can't watch things like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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