lucy Posted June 7, 2005 Author Report Share Posted June 7, 2005 Sent the letters i had written today, i didnt send them to his house. :huh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paula Posted June 7, 2005 Report Share Posted June 7, 2005 where did you send them, hun? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lucy Posted June 7, 2005 Author Report Share Posted June 7, 2005 to where he works, i used to see him at beverley cmht so i sent them there, 5 letters all declaring my sadness, pain, si, od, 6 hrs on im thinking it wasnt such a hot idea Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lucy Posted June 13, 2005 Author Report Share Posted June 13, 2005 have had injuntion mentioned by my cpn. I just think he wont do thatwe shall see Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swan Posted June 13, 2005 Report Share Posted June 13, 2005 Oh Lucy, I don't think it would have been mentioned if he wasn't serious. Please try and stop this or you could end up in prison. You really shouldn't go anywhere near his home because that is harassment and judges tend to be very sympathetic to victims in cases like this. You really do need to get some urgent help with this, Please Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paula Posted June 13, 2005 Report Share Posted June 13, 2005 swan is right. obsession is a very dangerous thing. you need to get some help for this. i know what it's like, i've been there, and it really is hard to think rationally when you are completely infatuated with a person. but you need to bring yourself back to reality and remember that this is illegal, and could turn very serious and nasty. we're here for you, keep talking, but please try and fight the urges to contact him. take care. pinks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lucy Posted June 14, 2005 Author Report Share Posted June 14, 2005 How? i hear what your saying, i tried a private t but i really cannot afford it, and i cpn doesnt let me ring her ( boundaries) and says she is seeing me alot once every two weeks. I know i shouldnt and i try and stop it is just like somthing takes over and i goi sit there for hours, i went to where he did therpay yesterday and sat outside for 3 hours waiting to see if i could see him I get really upset i just keep thinking of dying because this is so bad, it a mess Love Lucy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swan Posted June 14, 2005 Report Share Posted June 14, 2005 Lucy this does sound like a really tough situation. If all you are getting is your cpn once a fortnight with no support in between then I think now might be the right time to go and see a solicitor. You need to get together evidence that you have asked for more help and have not been given it. If they have mentioned an injunction then I would take it seriously, and if they are not helping you to change the behaviour then you need to take action against them because they are behaving unreasonably. It's clear that you do need more support than you are getting and boundaries are there for everyone's benefit - especially yours, and it sounds as though the cpn's are harming you. Just so you know. If they do take proceedings for an injunction, they will have a witness statement setting out all the instances they say constitute harassment. There will be a hearing. You need to be able to put in your own witness statement describing how this all came about, why you no longer see your therapist, what support you have now and that you have sought extra help at your own expense but cannot afford it. Keep us posted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lucy Posted June 16, 2005 Author Report Share Posted June 16, 2005 Today isnt a good day, i want to go and see him. I paided a online agnecy so i could check if his addy was the right one, it was I sent a letter this week ( he would of got it byu now) telling him how i wouldnt be missed if i did su I know my grandad loved me and he would be there to look after me. I am so stuck i know i am thinking like a child and i need to understand this btu i am not allowed to talk about it, as my cpn says im not allowed to. She keeps saying that i need family therpay, like this is the magic cure all. so it all crap really family therpay. She asked wht i wanted i said someone that understood and i got " dont you think i do ?" i should of said no, because she doesnt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kraaken Posted June 16, 2005 Report Share Posted June 16, 2005 Dear lucy You're going through a lot of pain. Do you want to not be in pain? Try to think that anything associated with him is causing you pain. Can you section off the part of yourself that is seeking him and examine it as if it is another person? What are you seeking from him? Does he symbolise something you want? What qualities draw you to him? Can you sit down and write the story about this person (you, but make up a name for the character) who is seeking the company of this man? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cactus Posted June 16, 2005 Report Share Posted June 16, 2005 Lucy sorry you have to go through this without understanding from cpn. I understand what it feels like to want to keep contacting someone.done it myself loads when i was in teens and twenties. try and set yourself small time slots to try and distract you from it.say half hour then keep going and be proud each half hour you manage. sorry if that sounds loads of crap, hope it doesnt, but wanted you to know i had listened and cared Love SunshineV xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paula Posted June 16, 2005 Report Share Posted June 16, 2005 lucy, all i can say is that i truly understand how you feel right now. i've been there. too many times. and even when you think you're ok, you can feel the obsession taking hold again, and you feel like you will die without this person. but this is something that you really need help with. and i must admit, i dont have any real answers. because i was in the same boat as you are. and nobody would help me. and i dont really know how i coped, how i got over it, but the important thing is to TRY. i know it's tough, and i know you hurt like hell. obsession is deeply painful, i know that from experience. but this is getting to a point now where you could get in serious trouble. i used to write notes to the people, and keep them in a box. it meant i could pour my heart out, and tell him how i felt, but i didnt have to harrass him. and i kinda worked out that if i really like him that much, then i wouldnt be putting him through all this. sorry i'm not much use, but i do understand. take care lucy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lucy Posted June 16, 2005 Author Report Share Posted June 16, 2005 sorry i'm not much use, but i do understand. You are of great use, because you do understand thankyou pinky Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paula Posted June 17, 2005 Report Share Posted June 17, 2005 thanks, lucy. i will always be here if you wanna chat or PM me. i am online at least once a day. i really do know what you are going through. unfortunately. and i know how difficult it is to stop. or even try to. but you can fight this. believe me you can. i dunno how i did it, but the fact is..I DID. and you can get through this too. and you're not alone :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lucy Posted June 18, 2005 Author Report Share Posted June 18, 2005 The more i think about this the more i think it is linked to my grandad My grandad died when i was 18 of a heart attack, i knew he was ill, he was in hospital before i went on holiday. I didnt want to go but my mum instited saying there was nothing i could do, i wasnt allowed to see him in hospital, so iwent on holiday with my friend. 2 days later he died in hospital, my mum rang the camp site where i was staying and told the owner he had died, the lady i never new walked out of her front door and told me he had died. I rang mum the next day (it was late when i was told) i wanted to go home see him say goodbye i wasnt allowed "how could you help" His funeral came noone cried not the done thing he was cremated, mum and grandma scattered his ashes i didnt find out where till recently When i was younger grandad was the only one that said he loved me, to him i was lovely, we had fun, he loved me noone else had shown me that when i was growing up, he had total belif in me I started to link grandad with Dr A in therpay i had onlyreally started to talk about grandad 4 weeks to the end of theray i had just about managed to say goodbye to grandad but couldnt say good bye top Dr A I started to follow him in januaray but stopped in march i never went to his house i just used to turn up where he worked, the exhust fell off my car so to say you could hear me a mile off was a understatment, so i couldnt go without it being obvious. I then imagined i saw him everywhere i saw him in everyone i met, his car was everywhere, then i thought i needed help so i looked on the UKCP website for psychotjheroist in my area and found his address, it was like finding gold. Since then i have checked his addy on 192.com it was his. I need to know he isnt dead, so i check then im filled with pain as i remember how he isnt seeing me anymore Lucy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lucy Posted June 24, 2005 Author Report Share Posted June 24, 2005 They are informing the police, i was told today Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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