ILostHer Posted May 30, 2011 Report Share Posted May 30, 2011 Once you have reached it? Mine does, I can't stop. I have this very strong desire that gets me through each day on so little. I get to my goal weight and think just a few more pounds and I will be happy, I will like what I see in the mirror. But I never do. I don't know when the end will be. This morning I was thinking 'Maybe just into the 6 st mark and I would be happy' But somehow I know I will still feel so gross. Anyone else the same? I only worry because I am a mother and I am not setting a good example but secretly I get pleasure from the starving and have done for so long. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wonderful Posted May 30, 2011 Report Share Posted May 30, 2011 That's kind of part of an ED. That won't stop until you get help and try to recover Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackdagger82 Posted May 30, 2011 Report Share Posted May 30, 2011 Mine does as well. In January I was at 60kg and wanted to drop to about 55kg, once I hit that I wanted to go lower. My current goal is 50kg. I know that this is far below what I should be. I just hate the way that I look. But I also know that I need help with this and will be discussing it with my therapist. I hope that you get some help with this Ilostcharlotte. :hug2: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrippleAndStarfish Posted May 30, 2011 Report Share Posted May 30, 2011 Argh people, c'mon... can we have just a little sensitivity for those of us who are triggered by stats, please? It's a common trigger for people with EDs who are in recovery... please.... ILostCharlotte - I'm really sorry you're struggling with this. hugs if okay hun. I never reached my goal weight, it was always "just a couple more pounds, then i'll stop. cause i AM in control... course i am! yes, another few pounds and i'll be happy" Never works like that hun. xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackdagger82 Posted May 30, 2011 Report Share Posted May 30, 2011 Sorry Crippie, should have thought that post through a bit more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrippleAndStarfish Posted May 30, 2011 Report Share Posted May 30, 2011 Sorry Crippie, should have thought that post through a bit more. That's okay, I don't expect people to think all the time, it's hard to do, just meant my reply as a reminder. no hard feelings xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILostHer Posted May 30, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 30, 2011 Thanks for your replies. The problem is I don't think I want to recover, I like the control my ED has over me/I have over it. My therapist specializes in ED's and I am terrified she will 'cure' me. I don't want to lose this control, but haven't got control because I can't stop. Hate ed's..but love them. It's all confusing. Thanks again all xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aquata Posted May 30, 2011 Report Share Posted May 30, 2011 I can relate to you so much,I do this all the time and it gets me down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toaster Posted May 30, 2011 Report Share Posted May 30, 2011 i suppose you have to prioritise - wanting to keep hold of the ed or your child/ren. i can relate. i lost a lot of weight and my target kept going down...i became very unwell. ive learnt that if its never good enough then it doesnt matter what weight i am at. 5 stone or 15 stone (neva been 5 stone, just an example), i will always feel enormous. so there would be no point in going to 5 stone if i still feel like i am 15 stone. i go to slimming world now. if i go below my healthy weight range ill be kicked out. part of me would like that. but i am getting to a point where i want the support from others. take care toast xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILostHer Posted May 30, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 30, 2011 Aquata, sorry you feel the same. Ed's are hell. And they make the head feel worse, less food, less happiness in the brain. Toaster, that's a good point about being a certain weight and still feeling the same at a smaller or higher weight regardless. But after having Ed's since I was 15 and this latest one for about 16 months, I can't stop. To be truthful it's destroying me. But then so is my head. My body and my mind are breaking me :'( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toaster Posted May 30, 2011 Report Share Posted May 30, 2011 ((((((((charlotte)))))))) i can relate, ive had an ed since forever, it feels like 'To be truthful it's destroying me' u said earlier that u have some control over it - that sentence up there says a lot different xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILostHer Posted May 30, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 30, 2011 I we can control what goes in, how little. That makes everything feel ok and in control. But I don't think it's my choice. Not at the moment. I'm so hungry toaster but not allowed to eat.xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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