G1rlInterrupted Posted June 8, 2011 Report Share Posted June 8, 2011 I've put on about 3 stone in a year. I was 9stone 5lb but things got bad and I have been punishing myself with food. I stopped boxing and kickboxing training which I loved and have turned into a fat, disgusting pig just like I knew I would. I've ruined myself and I cant stop. I just want to be thin again and then things will be perfect. I will have aleast some part of my life back that BPD has taken from me. I just wish I could stop lying to myself that all that crap i'm putting in my mouth is not damaging me. I used to be pretty once and now I'm just fat and ugly. Why BPD? why ME??...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unlucky Posted June 9, 2011 Report Share Posted June 9, 2011 Why not start boxing and/or kickboxing again? I'm the same. I've gained 7st in the last 5 years. I don't know what on earth to do. I hate myself so much. Nobody understands the pain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G1rlInterrupted Posted June 9, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 9, 2011 I guess it's to do with pride the fact that I haven't gone back to it. I was very dedicated to it to the point of obssesion. I was due to take my black belt in kickboxing and was going to compete at boxing and had built up a lot of respect from people. Then I had crap happen in my personal life and was so depressed, anxious and stressed I withdrew and stopped doing what I loved. Now I'm a mess and fat and so unhealthy and if people that had respect for me saw me like this, I know that the repect would turn to pity...and I couldn't stand that. Doing kickboxing and boxing was my life and my heart and soul. The reason for this was because it was the only time I felt respected and accepted in my whole life. It felt amazing. But now I've ruined that from binge eating. I know exactly how you feel and I do understand the constant pain you are in. Thanks for posting x :hug2: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeusExMachina Posted June 10, 2011 Report Share Posted June 10, 2011 Four stone in two years for me ... had my weight under control for so many years, I was anorexic when I was a teenager and now I have gone the other way. Trying to understand why I am doing this. I was eating when I felt particularly tired, bored or disillusioned with life. Now things have got worse in my relationship I have had a turnaround and don't want to eat anything. Even chocolate! Have lost four pounds already this week - I am aware that's not how I wanted to lose it though! It is hard I know after you have been super-fit but maybe make going back to kickboxing again your goal and do some practice at home? It might distract you from wanting to eat and give you something to look forward to. Is there anything you really like to do that you could do instead when you want to eat, Unlucky? Love the Marillion :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Porky Posted June 20, 2011 Report Share Posted June 20, 2011 I'm exactly the same, put weight on and don't like myself. Every week I'm gonna change my eating habits and exercise, every week I put it off 'till next week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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