lonelyheartemma Posted June 15, 2011 Report Share Posted June 15, 2011 I dont feel good at all but this is still good news and i was really happy when i got the letter. I have my apointment to see the psychiatric nurse, its in less than 2 weeks so not long to wait. my mum says she's not going with me coz she doesnt aprove of mental health problems so i will be able to talk to the psychiatric nurse without her listening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stjaninaro Posted June 15, 2011 Report Share Posted June 15, 2011 That's so great! Bit mixed feelings about your Mother's reaction. On the one hand it's probably good that you'll be able to talk without her looming over your shoulder the whole time, but on the other, it's not very nice of her to be so unsupportive of you... I really hope it goes well for your Emma! :hug2: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted June 15, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 15, 2011 Thanks stjaninaro! I was kind of hurt but she can't help not understanding it and i know this is the best way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
galupy Posted June 15, 2011 Report Share Posted June 15, 2011 thats great. is it your initial assessment or have you been assigned? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dani Posted June 15, 2011 Report Share Posted June 15, 2011 aww thats great :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stjaninaro Posted June 15, 2011 Report Share Posted June 15, 2011 As long as you're happy about it, that's all that matters My first appointment on my own was really scary but it turned out to be the one of the best things I could have done. And it had the added bonus of showing my Mother I didn't need her for everything, that I could cope (a bit!) on my own. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benway Posted June 15, 2011 Report Share Posted June 15, 2011 Hi Emma! I am so happy your appt is coming up and you will be able to speak freely. Your mum sayin "coz she doesnt aprove of mental health problems" is like saying she dosen't approve of broken legs. I am sure life will get better for you when you get the support and help you need. I am very fond of you and really happy at last somethings being done. Love & hugs a.m xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pippab Posted June 15, 2011 Report Share Posted June 15, 2011 badkittteh - Your mum sayin "coz she doesnt aprove of mental health problems" is like saying she dosen't approve of broken legs. very true but made me giggle.... At least now you can say what you want and need to say without your mum looking over your shoulder Emma. This is very positive and im made up for you x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toaster Posted June 15, 2011 Report Share Posted June 15, 2011 yay emma! i am SO happy this has come through for you! i agree with everything anne marie said , bout caring about u an stuff as for ur mother not going with u...although i think saying she doesnt 'agree' is kinda thoughtless of her, it can only be a good thing u r going alone... good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jules7 Posted June 15, 2011 Report Share Posted June 15, 2011 That's great Emma, hope she helps you feel better. sorry your mom isn't more supportive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BimoUK Posted June 15, 2011 Report Share Posted June 15, 2011 So pleased for you Emma. I agree with everyone else on your mothers reaction, but if that is her attitude, then you really don't need her there anyway! Of course you're going to be a bit scared but I'm sure everything will be fine. Really glad to hear something good is happening for you. X Edit: Corrected spelling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wynter Grace Posted June 15, 2011 Report Share Posted June 15, 2011 Hi hun, It's great you got your appointment so quick, Sorry your Mum is being unsupportive but at least you will be able to talk freely xxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted June 15, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 15, 2011 Thank you Its my initial assesment galupy. I don't remember seeing a psychiatric nurse last time but maybe they do it different or maybe i was refered to 1 person then and this time i was just refered to the centre. I am scared but i'm actually less scared about this than my other appts. If my mum isn't there, i won't have to worry about what i'm saying so much. I can just tell the truth as much as i feel able to and my mum won't be able to tell the psychiatric nurse she disagrees or tell me off afterwards. I'm still a bit scared she will be horrible and say theres nothing wrong with me but i'd be more worried if my mum was going coz she would just agree with the nurse and make me feel like i couldn't say anything. I hope that when i have a therapist or cpn or something like that i won't talk to my mum about mental health so much. sometimes you just have to say something but if i've got a proper appt coming up, it will be easier to keep my feelings to myself. at least my mum is happy for me to go. For ages she told me i couldn't mention it to the doctor but finally she did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pippab Posted June 15, 2011 Report Share Posted June 15, 2011 Just make sure that at your first appointment before you start talking about anything else you tell them about your mum... that you dont want her at any appointments etc... so at least if your mum changes her mind the doctor/therapist will tell her to leave and not you. As long as you explain you are uneasy and cant stand up to her they will (and have to) honour your wishes... And at least then you wont be worried/anxious before each session that your mum will change her mind and want to sit in x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pippab Posted June 15, 2011 Report Share Posted June 15, 2011 I would even go as far as after your first session tell your mum that she's not allowed in.... and that its a strict one to one therapy.. Thats not trying to push your mum away from from you... but i know that if i knew ANYONE i knew in real life (my parents, bf etc) was reading things i wrote on here or was there when i was speaking to my doctor I wouldnt write on here... and i wouldnt speak freely to my doctor Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted June 15, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 15, 2011 Thank you Pippa, i think thats a really good idea. I think maybe i need a list of things i need to make sure I mention in the first session. Like family problems, wanting my own flat, wanting to die, sh, tho she will probably ask about the last two. I wouldnt post on here either if i thought my mum was reading it. once i forgot to log out and a new person joined and her username was partly my mums first name, i was really scared. I always make sure i log out and delete the site from my history now. she always says she's not nosy but she wants to know what my email passwords are and whats in my letters! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
galupy Posted June 15, 2011 Report Share Posted June 15, 2011 i just wanna kind of do a word of warning thing the initial assessment doesn't mean you will be assigned to someone! i had to fight to get my cpn and wait a good 6 months at that and i was considered high risk having previously been under the cmht in a different area. be honest with him / her as much as you can cos they can't help if you dont. but dont expect miracles. it's the nhs after all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BimoUK Posted June 15, 2011 Report Share Posted June 15, 2011 Thank you Pippa, i think thats a really good idea. I think maybe i need a list of things i need to make sure I mention in the first session. Like family problems, wanting my own flat, wanting to die, sh, tho she will probably ask about the last two. A list is a great idea. The last thing you want is to walk out the door and think "Damn! I was meant to mention this!" Plus it will help you keep focussed on what it is you're trying to say so they'll be able to work out how best to help you easier. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted June 15, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 15, 2011 Thank you galupy. I didnt know that. I wasnt expecting miracles (or not yet) but i did think the psychiatric nurse would assign me to someone or that i'd keep seeing her. I saw someone quite quickly last time but i was quite young then, they might do it different with children. Bimo I hate that feeling too. It happens to me almost every time i leave the doctors surgery! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ntt14 Posted June 16, 2011 Report Share Posted June 16, 2011 I wish your mum wouldn't keep hurting you but I don't think she even realises she is doing it, just wants to control how things are and doesn't understand something so dismisses it. But, all the same, you don't deserve this and I'm so glad that this appt has come through and you can take things into your own hands and get the support you need. Definitely a good idea to write it down. I go for an appt and say yes I'm fine time and time again then kick myself all the way home. So I think if I write it down I won't forget anything or, if the worst comes to the worst and I lose my ability to speak (duh) I can just hand them my piece of paper!! I'm glad you have so much support on here. YOu are very kind and understanding towards everyone and people genuinly care about how you feel and want to help you so that you are not alone. I know I'm pretty much repeating what everyone had said, but it's all true so I'm saying it anyway xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted June 16, 2011 Report Share Posted June 16, 2011 own mum so like yours ahhhhh mental health well just try harder and stop making a fuss best thing ever to escape for a bit and tell them how things are and write stuff down and they could also contact your gp and talk to him and tell him the situation he could easily then suggest to your mum that at your age you should be seeing the doc alone, emphasize how vital it is for privacy and make it VERY VERY clear what the SAFE METHODS of contact are for you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted June 16, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 16, 2011 I dont think she knows either ntt14. when i've tried talking to her about it, she either thinks i'm being horrible or she doesnt know what i'm talking about. I'm sure its a total accident but it really hurts. Walker thats a really good idea, idk about the mental health team but the other doctors i've seen for physical reasons all write letters to my doctor to keep her updated so the psychiatrist or whoever i see could do the same. But I'll have to ask them not to send me a copy coz my mum insists on reading all my medical letters. So not her business. I got one today and she was like youve got a letter from the hospital, i want to know what it says. I didnt want to get into an argument over it so i showed her but I didnt like doing it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted June 16, 2011 Report Share Posted June 16, 2011 ((((emma)))) had parents and hub same liek prison Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jillv Posted June 16, 2011 Report Share Posted June 16, 2011 I'm so pleased you've got this appointment so soon. I agree with everything everyone else has said, but still wanted to offer you my support. Perhaps you could arrange to be contacted by e-mail, rather than letter, as this would be so much more private. xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manja. Posted June 17, 2011 Report Share Posted June 17, 2011 emma, so glad to hear you are getting cpn. hate your mum's attitude, but i don't doubt mine would be the same too if i still spoke to her... you don't need her there though xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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