pidgeypony Posted July 22, 2011 Report Share Posted July 22, 2011 I just hate myself. I can't help these binges, and then I feel so weak, so guilty, so fat, I just want to die. I tried to vomit to get rid of it, but I can't. I don't know how to cope any more, I just do not want to gain any more weight. Why can nobody understand that I don't want to gain weight? I am in the normal BMI range, yet they think I am OK gaining weight. I really really hate how weak I am to keep binging like this. So, with a massive hatred of vomiting, how can I vomit, just how do I make myself vomit? I am sure I will be OK once I've done it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piuma Posted July 22, 2011 Report Share Posted July 22, 2011 Sounds like you are really distressed dunkey. You know we cant tell you how to make yourself sick, but we can support you and be here for you. Maybe we could look at how you can manage your feelings right now. You are scared of a weight gain, i can understand that fear. apart from fear, what else are you feeling right now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pidgeypony Posted July 22, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 22, 2011 Suicidal. I am pathetic, I am a coomplete flop at everything. Apart from upsetting my OH, I am good at that. Oh, and fat, my stomach is bulging against my jeans now. That makes me feel fat and ugly, and a very weak person. I am a weak person, always have been. I can't say no to people. I am a perfectionist, which does not help, and I am also an all or nothing person,which does not help me either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piuma Posted July 22, 2011 Report Share Posted July 22, 2011 its really good that you are talking about this, have you felt this suicidal before? how long have you struggled with this eating disorder? Keep talking Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Villan Posted July 22, 2011 Report Share Posted July 22, 2011 sorry i have no expertise in this stuff, so i have no advice, but i wanted to send you some love and support in your struggle... i hope the feelings pass for you soon... xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maud Posted July 23, 2011 Report Share Posted July 23, 2011 i empathise with all this, bulimia SUCKS, I know anorexia is awful but at least it's fairly obvious something is up, when you're bulimic it's so so so lonely and I feel weak too. okay, describe a typical "binge" maybe it isn't as bad as you think? x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bellaboo Posted July 23, 2011 Report Share Posted July 23, 2011 Im so sorry your struggling dunkey and i know exactly how you feel i stop myself from binging now by just not eating but after small amounts now feel like a bindge and i throw till my stomach hurts too and i eat fast in habit like i used to in a bindge. I know how horrible and confusing it is and how bad you feel no words of advise i just want you to know that ya not alone in these feelings and actions. Get your feelings out on here or anywere you can and find distraction if you can. Wish you well you are beautiful and deserve more luv to yourself x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kuroneko8444 Posted July 25, 2011 Report Share Posted July 25, 2011 I know what you're feeling dunkey. binging is my everyday life. but purging it's not the way out. it has consequences. and after a while you're just hurting yourself. it's like alternative for Self-injuring. just another way to feel pain. why do we binge? because it gives us a reason for hating ourselves. it never ends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BimoUK Posted July 25, 2011 Report Share Posted July 25, 2011 Dunkey, i'm so sorry you're feeling this way, I know exactly what you're going through. I wish I had some words of advice to give you but i'm in the same boat. I just wanted to offer my support. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted July 25, 2011 Report Share Posted July 25, 2011 :bigarmhug[1]: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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